From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jon Snow (born 28 September 1947) is an English journalist and presenter, formerly employed as Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. He is best known for his vast collection of colourful ties and socks. He comes from a family of 'Snowmen', his cousin is Peter 'the Windmill' Snow.
Jon was raised on the House Stark estate in Ardingly, Sussex. He was believed to be the illegitimate son of Lord Eddard Stark, and was brought up alongside his trueborn children, despite Lady Stark's objections. As a young man, he attended the University of Liverpool, although he did not remain there long enough to complete his degree.
He was expelled for throwing paint over a statue of the honored Queen Victoria of House Targaryen, an offence classified by the mad King Aerys as close to treason. Jon Snow was put on trial, and sentenced either to death or to exile to the frozen north, to Hadrian's Wall in Scotland. Being a fairly sensible chap, he chose the latter.
The Night's Watch
At Hadrian's Wall, Jon Snow swore to defend his country, forsaking his old life, and pledging celibacy. Unsurprisingly, he was not quite able to keep that oath, and his paramours include Anna Ford, Madeline Colvin, and Ygritte, who according to Jon, is 'wild.' Rumours have also circulated about his involvement with Princess Daenerys of House Targaryen, a direct descendant of Queen Victoria.
Despite these indiscretions, Jon's career at the wall proved successful, and only a few years later he was elected Lord Commander of the Night's Watch. This, despite the prestigious title, was a 'fairly tedious desk job' according to Snow, and he soon found himself devoting more time to his hobbies.
Jon Snow's forays into radio communication began with LBC, a small station that came to unexpected prominence when Jon began to broadcast about the Threat Beyond The Wall, or Scotland. His talent was soon recognized, and he was given many offers to move south and become a political correspondent. Finally, perhaps inevitably, he accepted, and reported on the Machiavellian machinations of the country's elite for Channel 4.
He has been remarkably successful, to the point where he was offered an OBE. He turned this down, however, fearing it would hurt his impartiality, and his anti-establishment credentials.
It is said by some than Jon Snow is in fact the son of Rhaegar Targaryen. This is impossible, as it would make him the nephew of his sometime lover, Daenerys. These lies were probably spread by those who detest his brightly-colored socks, pet albino wolf, or political stances.