John Wayne

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John Wayne in attempt to get on time to record the album "Singing on the Train".

John Wayne (real name Marion Pansy-ass Girlyboy) was a star in western movies and is commonly known as the founder of the Nazi Party.

[edit] Alla His Days

jonh wayne's not dead

u know what im gonna do? im gonna get a 1969 caddilac eldorado, HOT PINK, with all cow leather interior, with big baby seal eyes as hub caps. im gonna drive around in that baby, goin 150 mph, suckin down double quarter pounder cheese burgers in the old fashion non-biodegradabe styrofoam containers and then im gonna throw them right out the side and wipe my muth on the american flag, and there aint gonna be a godamn thing anybody can do about it. you know why? cuz we got the bombs thats why, russia, romania, north korea, they cant do a godamn thing cuz we..got.. the bombs...... jonh waynes not dead, hes frozen and as soon as we find a cure for cancer we're gonna thaw out the duke,and hes gonna be pretty pissed off, u know why? have u ever taken a cold shower? well times that by about 15 million times, thats how pissed the duke's gonna be. im gonna get the duke, jonh cashibeddy, lee marvin, and a big case of whiskey a drive down to texas.

[edit] Birth'n

Long about aught six Ol' Paw Wayne and his little woman done have a boy. They went ahead, named him John, after his grand pappy, Billy Joe. They gone & raised the lad out on the ol' Williams Ranch, down about Abeline. Well young John wasn't no taller than the knees on a grasshopper's nephew when he was raidin and ropin' and carryin' his own weight around the ranch. His paw was mighty proud, but he don't never tell him so. That wouldn'ta been raght!

[edit] Lonely Cowpoke

Raght 'bout tha time young John was fixin' ta take over the ranch from his paw, his paw done up an' dyin on him. Trouble was, the bank was fixin' ta foreclose tha ranch on accounta his paw bein' broke. Well, John, he done got up in his Sunday best and rode on inta town. He done strode on inta the First Western Bank of Abeliene and had a little talkin' to with the banker 'round those parts, ol' man Winters.

Now, Ol Man Winters, he didn't take kindly to none o' that smartin-off youngster talk. It wadn't more than a minute b'fore our boy John Wayne were out on his hind quarters. Winters done took that ranch, the hunderd head o' cattle, and John were out on his own.

[edit] Ridin' the Range

Yup. He done did that there thing, he shore did. Left that flea-bittin two-bit one-horse town and moved to Beverly. Hills that is. Swimming pools, movie stars.

[edit] Got Hisself in da Movin' Pitchures

Now, raght nix ta them thar Beverlee Hills is a town calla Hollywood. That's whar they make dem moovin' pitchures. Good ol' John Wayne, he were rustlin' up some vittles one day by tha Gower Gulch an this lil' guy pokes 'im on the arm. Now, John, he near 'bout knock 'im clear ta Wyomin'. Then tha thar COWBOY BUTT SEX lil' guy, he ask'd John if he wanna be in a movin' pitchur. John, he ask whud it pay? And tha guy, he done said about a dolla a day. John figgur'd be better'n ropin' cattle fer a spell, so he up 'n gave't 'is bes' shot.

An' he weren't to bad at it none.

[edit] Filmography

• (2009) Brokeback Mountain Part 2: The Legend of Gold's Curleys
• (1975) Chicken Legburn
• (1974) Be a MAN... Join The Army (Not Me Though) - Promotional film for Army recruitment.
• (1972) Rio Gravy
• (1971) Rio Hobo
• (1970) Rio Lobo
• (1970) McD - I'll have a #1 with extra fries
• (1969) True Grits For Breakfast
• (1968.5) The Purple Berets
• (1968) The Good, The Bad, and the Swansea - Clem Pynis
• (1968) Enlist for Vietnam Now!
• (1967) The Hello' Dolly Fighters - Texas dud tries to get all the cowboys to wear orange jumpsuits
• (1965) The Greatest Story Never Told
• (1965) The Daughters Of Katie's Elder
• (1963) Donovan's Beef
• (1962) The Man Who Shot his Liberty Bell
• (1962) Atari - Trying to capture the Wild Pack Man
• (1960) South to Alaska
• (1960) The Surfers
• (1959) The Horse, Soldiers
• (1959) Rio Bravo
• (1958) The Burpers
• (1957) The Wings of Chickens
• (1956) The Lurchers
• (1954) The Mighty High
• (1952) Big Chin
• (1952) The Crying Man
• (1951) Flyin' Rednecks
• (1949) He Wore a Pink Ribbon
• (1948) The Red Bitch
• (1945) Back to Hoboken
• (1945) They Were Expandable - Story of the US Navy's 1st Bagbipe, Accordian & Rubber Underwear Squadron
• (1944) Sands of Aunt Jemima
• (1942) Lady for a Night
• (1941) The Sheep in the Hills
• (1935) Westward Ho'
• (1934) West of the Divide!
• (1932) Ride Him...Cowboy
• (1929) Maker of Men

[edit] Bit Parts

• The Pooper
• Bareback Mountin'
• High Noon (The extended crack version)

[edit] Rahdin' inta thu Sunset

Good ol John Wayne was luved by just uhbout ev'ry cowpoke and filly that he done meet. An' thas no lie.

I gess tha ol' moral of this here story is...well...finish your vegetables. Thas right! And list'n to yor ma, she knows whats good fer ya! That there spinach, it's raght good fer ya, jes eat it raght up.

Well, thas all tha tahm we gots for this little story. You take care uh yerself - ye hear?