Joe Higgins

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A young Joe Higgins, while on a visit to East Germany.

“This article is a disgrace to the workers of Ireland!”
~ Joe Higgins on this article

Comrade Joseph Mary "Joe" Higgins TD (born 29 May 1900) is an Irish socialist, who is best known for causing a lot of trouble and for talking a lot of shite most of the time. He is also hated as well as being laughed at by the liberal majority of Ireland.

edit Early life

Joe was born in a stable in County Kerry to Joseph and Mary Higgins. Joe attended the "Super Christian Bros." school in Tralee, where he was later expelled, for scaring the brothers with communist propaganda.

Afterwards, Joe moved to Dublin and settled in the suburb of Mulhuddart (which he later renamed Mulhuddartski when he became a TD).

edit Political career

Joe joined the Irish Labour Party in 1970, where he was later kicked out of the party when he was caught kissing a picture of Leon Trotsky. He went on to set up his Trotsky party, called the Militant Labour Party, which was later called the Socialist Party, the ULA (Ugly Leftists Arseholes) and the AAA (Absolute Arseholes Association).

In 1997, Joe reign of political terror began, when he was elected a TD for Dublin West. During this time, he would usually that the mickey out of then Taoiseach Bertie Ahern and other government politicians. Joe would usually talk about shite, such as whellie bins and dirty water. The government hated Joe so much that they decided to jail him in Mountjoy in 2003. He was later released after only a few weeks, which angered the liberal population of Ireland.

Thankfully, Joe will not stand in the next election, which is a relief to the liberal people in Ireland.

edit Personal life

Joe lives in a small house in Mulhuddartski, where he worships a picture of Leon Trotsky, which hangs in his living room wall. As well as owning a Trotsky picture, Joe also drives around in an East German Trabant car, and is laughed at as he drives by.

edit See also

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to Joe Higgins.
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