Jim Sorgi

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Sorgi Manning, the NFL's first retard player.

Who's the best Manning quarterback of all? Who is it? Is it you? YES, it's YOU! Yay Sorgi!

~ Peyton Manning on his brother Sorgi
Jim "Sorgi" Manning, born December 3, 1980, is the middle son of renowned former NFL quarterback Archie Manning and brother to NFL quarterbacks Peyton and Eli. He was also born with Downs Syndrome, and his life-long wish of becoming an NFL quarterback like his father and two brothers was finally fulfilled when Peyton's Indianapolis Colts signed him to an honorary contract as backup to his brother in 2004. Also of note is that he was the first player in the NFL to wear his nickname on the back of his jersey, leading the way for other imbeciles like Chad Johnson/Ocho Cinco.
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Jim Sorgi.


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[edit] Special Olympics

Though the intricacies of NFL football are more than Sorgi's mental limitations can handle, genetics still blessed him with the Manning family's "golden arm". Playing in the 1995 Special Olympics, Sorgi murdered 4 other competitors with a rocket-propelled football before he was removed from the game for the safety of others. He still received a gold medal for his efforts.

[edit] Pro Career

Sorgi was drafted in the last round of the 2004 NFL Draft by the Indianapolis Colts, as a favor to his older brother Peyton. Since then, Sorgi has proved to be an excellent waterboy and personal servant to star QB Peyton Manning. While Sorgi has yet to take a snap in the NFL, a scare occurred in the Colts' 2006 Super Bowl appearance, when Peyton came up lame after a particularly fierce hit. Colts coach Tony Dungy had no choice but to turn to Sorgi, and he began warming up fiercly in his special way. Fortunately for Colts fans, Peyton was able to resume play and Sorgi resumed his place on the bench.

[edit] An "Inspiration"

The American Association on Mental Retardation has cited Sorgi Manning as an inspiration to all sufferers of "intellectual disabilities", "mental handicaps", "developmental disabilities", and the "mentally challenged". "He's also an inspiration to other retards" says brother Eli, who is himself ¼ retarded.[1]

[edit] Trivia

  • Wears jersey #12 in honor of his IQ score.
  • Can bench press more than either of his brothers, attributed to his "retard strength".
  • Favorite food: Play Doh.
  • In 2006, Sorgi led the team with 6 water bottle fumbles and averaged 11 wet towel snaps a game from his teammates.

[edit] External links

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Sportz Illuztrated - August 2, 2004
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