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Chewbacca AKA Chewy the Kid, was at one time the most notorious outlaw in the galaxy. His crime spree began when robbed a shipment of Wookiee fur rugs, he left his home world of Kashyyyk and worked as a ranch hand until he got caught in a shoot out with Banta rustlers on Tattooine. Than he shot an arms merchant during a card game with a bowcaster, when he accused him of counting cards and pimping Twiliks (which was true on both counts). When a squad of storm troopers cornered him in a dark alley, he beat them all senseless with the loose end of his handcuffs and framed a homeless man. Foreseeing noose in the cards, Chewy was smuggled off planet by Han Solo and has been a space pirate ever since.
Han seems to be Chewy's partner in crime and heterosexual life mate, who helps Chewbacca to maul someone's balls. They were last spotted in Yellowstone National Park stealing picnic baskets, where a troop of Boy Scouts have been reported missing for eight days. Chewbacca is well known for drinking way too much; on one occasion he was pulled over while driving the Millenium falcon he was found to be 20 times over the limit and completely shaved, he led police on a chase before collapsing in a pool of his own filth and passing out.
Chewbacca is Jewish, hence the name "Jewbacca", he practices Kabbalah with his wife Madonna who fell in love with his singing voice. Like most Wookiees, Chewy converted to Imperial Catholicism to avoid persecution under grand inquisitor Darth Vader.
edit See also
- Big Foot
- Bear Jew
- Wookie Goldberg
- Donnie Darko
- Indiana Jones