Jesusland

Republic of Jesusland

(Flag) (Coat of Arms)

National Motto: "In God We Trust"

Jesusland is a large chunk of America housing the Red States, rednecks, white trash, and white humor. It comprises about 30 states formerly part of the "United States". The states were scheduled to be liberated from America on November 6, 2012 when the President would be elected. The former never happened. It is also referred to, with varying formality, as God's Country, the Pure Country, and the Land of the Free (Christians). This nomenclature proves, once again, that God believers are severe hypocrites, as they already believe in a special country loved by God above all the others, which would make God a racist.

Jesusland is often described as being extremely organized and tolerant unlike the brainless Commies who currently run the region lacking in critical thinking and abounding in hypocrisy. Jesusland is believed to be the real place that Jesus visited 2,000 years ago, and the original location of the Garden of Eden.

There is no evidence to support this.

Jesusland is the apparent location for the "2016 Olympics" which will be hosted by internationally renowned diabetes spokeswoman, Kim Kardashian along with her pet Anglican dragon, Donny Osmond. The opening ceremony will include acrobatics and a tonsillectomy from Popeye and his new business partner, Pope Francis.

States

• Jesusistan (Georgia, South Carolina)
• Dumbfuckistan (substates going west from Appalachia to Tornado Valley, except Ohio and Indiana)
• Redneckistan (Ohio and Indiana)
• Bushland (Idaho, Utah, Wyoming)

Footnotes

Jesus Related Locations.
Jesusland	Red States
Jesus Ocean	Israel