Jeordie White
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“Dork.”
“You only wish you were me, Trent!”
“After reading that, I believe this page has been officially declared an EPIC FAIL for not bringing the LULZ, only trying.”
Often confused for the missing link by scientists, Jeordie White (aka Señor Blanco [aka High Senator Egwedar of the Ninth Galaxy) is a bassist and avid videogamer. When he is not on tour, he can be found camped out on George Lucas' lawn, making lightsaber noises.
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[edit] The Early Years
Before meeting Trent Reznor, founder, currently bald(ing), and weight lifting obsessor of Nine Inch Nails, Jeordie White did nothing at all, seriously. He kind of sat around all day, playing with his bass guitar. He also became an expert at Animal Crossing, a game only people like him enjoy.
Apparently he got good at playing the bass, because he joined a band that people didn't hate. Am•Booga•Lard, a Metallica tribute band, thrust Mr. White into the light of popular music and he soon became good enough that such fine musicians as Maynard Keenan and Marilyn Manson plotted to kidnap him.
After weeks of planning and calculating, the hunt was on. Unfortunately for our hero Mr. Keenan, Manson got there first, shoved White in a dress, and sedated him so that he wouldn't protest. Maynard, not used to losing, cried over this for weeks. Jeordie just drooled a lot and spend the next ten years playing for his kidnapper.
[edit] With_Teeth
One day, Trent Reznor got really bored of not writing any new material whatsoever and decided to go talk to some random people, such as his best friend and mentor Fred Durst and, you guessed it, Jeordie! They discussed the economic state of Madagascar, the future of monopoly and the childhood of Bob Dole. Considering they both are good at making noise, Jeordie gave Trent a CD he wrote. The CD was called With_Teeth. Trent instantanously became jealous, drugged Jeordie and got him to fellate some cows. When Jeordie awoke, dazed and confused with cow poop all over him, Trent told him that he was milking cows and fell asleep. Trent also told him that it was actually he, Trent Reznor, who wrote the CD.
I guess one could say Jeordie White is Nine Inch Nails, but I wouldn't because Trent would beat the shit out of you.
[edit] Post Inconveniet Truth Tour
After the T-Rezzy-Rez World Tour, people suspect Jeordie of just sitting on his ass at home. This is, however, far from the truth. His life has completely fallen to shambles since the mighty Mr. Reznor set him free. His story is a tragic one, but it has to be told.
Jeordie used to have a house, but his obsession with Star Wars became so great it took him over. Today you can spot him wearing one of his five Stormtrooper costumes, in his Deathstar shaped tent outside of George Lucas' house.
And, just for the record, he no longer goes by "Twiggy", "Jeordie", or "That Ugly Chick." High Senator Egwedar of the Ninth Galaxy finds these names offensive and degrading to his true, more Star Wars-y title.
[edit] Year Zero
Several months prior to the release of Year Zero, Trent had decided that he was going to schedule another murderous tour to drag several unlucky musicians along on. Knowing that they were the only ones up to the task, Trent phoned Aaron North, Alessandro Cortini, and Josh Freese. He would've just left Jeordie sitting on George Lucas' lawn to rot, but decided that he'd drag him along just in case they got stranded somewhere remote, and needed someone expendable to consume for nourishment.
Knowing nothing of Trent's diabolical plot, Jeordie followed along.
