Jennifer Aniston
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
| ||
| Date of birth: | February 11, 1969 | |
| Birth location: | Sherman Oaks, California, United States | |
|---|---|---|
| Implants: | Are you kidding me? | |
| Spouse: | Brad Pitt (2000-2005) | |
“I'd love to see her as a dominatrix! With ME!”
~ random masochistic coffee addict
“I think I STILL prefer Brad Pitt. Sorry.”
~ Vince Vaughn on what Jennifer prefers
“More knuckle sandwiches coming up”
~ Angelina Jolie on Jennifer Aniston
“She's TOTALLY HOT.”
~ That horny dude from... that thing. on Jennifer Aniston
“She'll never find another Brad!”
~ Tabloids on how Brad Pitt cheated on his wife with Jon Voight's daughter (Seriously!)
Mostly known for the acting in the 102nd BEST TV show ever, Friends.
[edit] When People Still Cared
People used to care about Jen, when she was on Friends, a shitty TV show, and dated Brad Pitt. She still lives in that world, also known as the 6th Dimension. All the damn coverage about her divorce is overexposed. We know the big lipped beauty took Brad, we know it's over, just shut up about Jennifer already. No one gives a rat's ass about her.
Nowadays, the only time people think of her, is when someone brings up the subject again (which they shouldn't, because Jennifer is worthless).
[edit] Jolie vs. Aniston
| ||||
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Age | Who cares? She dates older guys anyway | 40 | ||
| Height | Tall | 5'4 | ||
| Weight | Depends on her mood | 6 lbs | ||
| Born | June 4, 1975 | Feb 11 | ||
| Ex | Jonny Lee Miller, Billy Bob Thornton | Brad Pitt, John Mayer, Vince Vaughn | ||
| Weak Points | Her beauty | All of her is weak | ||
| Sexuality | Bisexual | Beastiality | ||
| What would happen if these 2 have a catfight | Would murder the plain, boring blonde bitch | She'd die | ||
| Best Friends | Brad Pitt | No one actually likes her | ||
| Enemies | Jennifer Aniston | Angelina Jolie | ||
| Why we like her | Her good heart, her beauty | Looks like a lion (she's ugly and plain) | ||
| Most famous for Portraying | Gia | Someone ugly and spoiled on a horrid TV show | ||
| Now dating | Brad Pitt | No one for long! | ||
| Children | Six | None yet! |
