Jelly beans
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
They are commonly used to stick up people's ass or to throw at annoying things and have sex with if you think it feels good.
Jelly beans are made by Aliens from Jupiter. First they load them into their death ray guns in their natural form (common dog crap).
They melt them during the process of shooting them. When they land they instantly turn into random flavors. This sometimes malfunctions. Making nasty flavors usually found in those Harry Potter movies.
These aliens split into 4 groups.
-Gryffindor-rarely malfunctions
-Slytherin-weird snake type things that dont have hands so they cant fire the ray gun.
-Ravenclaw-also known as rednecks.
-Hufflepuff-most likely to malfunction
edit History
First they were used as ammunition in the guns used by Hitler and Iron Man. Last purpose was that those were what filled the shell of all nuclear weapons. Main diet of the flying monkeys in the wizard of oz. Also known to be the alternate "snow" for Shaun White.
Jelly beans originated in the south of nowhereville on jupiter
edit 10 Most Dangerous Terrorist Weapons of All Time
1. Rubber Bands
2. Rubber Chickens
3. JellyBeans
4. Bullets
5. Legos
6. Strawberry Oreos
7. Your Mom
8. NOOBS
9. Skittles
10. Bombs
edit Things not to do with Jellybeans
Caution: Uncyclopedia is not responsible for giving readers ideas of things to do with jellybeans.
1.Shove them up your nose.
2.Use as ear plugs.
3.Use as suppository.
4.Fill with poisons.
5.Pretend they are alive and play with them.
6.Make out with one.
7.Throw in fire (will explode with power of three atomic bombs.)
8.Have intercourse with jelly beans
9.Get caught stealing someones jelly beans


