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“Mmm, yaaa ”
Jello Biafra (born Eric Reed Boucher; June 17, 1958) is considered on of the most skilled, operatic, and non-warbling singers ever. His distinctive clean, perfectly-anunciated singing has been his claim to fame, singing for such conservative, republican doo-wop groups such as The Reagan lovers, The super conservatives, We Love Nazis, and The Cambodian Tourism Board.
Jello is also notable for his stage presence. While performing, he is almost completely frozen, to the point where he is often confused with a statue. As a result of this, several birds have landed on Biafra during live performances, they are now his pets and their names are; Ronald, Nancy, Maggie, Tipper and Hitler.
edit Early lifeJello Biafra was born Orloma Jellofuis Biafrandia IIVVZZXX,
He shortened his name to Jello Biafra, because his birthname was just too fucking long and confusing for anyone to understand. He also cut is hair into a ridiculous retro style that required the entire contents of the Exxon Valdez to style. He also stole one of his parents' leather jackets, removed all the patches from it and turned the collar up. His transformation into a greaser was complete. AIDS.
edit Outed.One day, Jello's parents returned from their five-year pilgrimage to CBGB's. To their horror they discovered the now hair-greased, leather-jacket-wearing, boopadoopadoop singing Jello. His parents, all four of them, kicked Jello out of the house and said he couldn't come back till he listened to music that wasn't shit. Vikings known as THE HOLY SHIT MEISTERS!. Jello thought they were a Christian doo-wop group, and who wouldn't with a name like THE HOLY SHIT MEISTERS. But they quickly discovered just how well Vikings and doowop mixed, when they created the first ever heavy metal doo-wop Viking Jello album. They are most notable for being the only doo-wop band in history to have no guitars. That's right NO GUITARS!
edit Marriage to BigfootAfter nearly 1,000 years of standing on stage and doing nothing, Jello decided to do what any good singer does at the height of their career...go Bat Fuck Insane and marry someone butt ugly. So he searched far and wide to fine someone who was not only ugly, but was SOOOOO ugly that they made Jello look dead sexy by comparison. Jack White, Hillary Clinton and even crack. however, he finally settled on Bigfoot.
edit Presidential Campaign