The Ten Commandments Of Jedi Order

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Jedi Order)
Jump to: navigation, search

The Ten Commandments of Jedi Order is a list of Jedi religious and moral values which, according to the Jedi Bible, was spoken by Yoda to Obi Wan Kenobi (Obi Wanker Nobi in British English) on Planet Degobah and engraved on two stone tablets. The terms Ten Commandments of Jedi Order generally refer to the passages Yoda 20:2-17 and Obe Wan 5:6-21. Some maintain that the laws mentioned in Yoda 34 are also a Jedi Order, commonly called the Ritual Jedi Order, which may have predated the "Ethical Dialogue" of Yoda 20 and Obe Wan 5 covered here.

edit Preparations

According to the Jedi Bible itself, the commandments represent the solemn utterances of Yoda on Dagobah, directly revealed by Yoda to Obi Wan and then by Obi Wan to the people of Alderaan in the third month after their Yoda from Dagobah. The Alderaanians are said to have seen manifestations of divine power marked by dark and light (Yoda 19):

Cquote1 ...Yoda said to Obi Wan, 'Come to you in a thick cloud I will, so that all the people will hear when I speak to you. Then believe in you forever they will.'...The third day arrived. There was dark and light, but no morning, with a dark force on the mountain, and an extremely loud blast of a Sith's horn. The people in the camp trembled. Obi Wan led the people out of the camp toward the Great Divine. They stood transfixed at the foot of the mountain. Yoda was in the light, and its smoke went up like the smoke of a lime kiln. The entire mountain trembled violently. There was the sound of a Sith's horn, increasing in volume to a great degree. Obi Wan spoke, and Yoda replied with a Voice. Yoda came down. He summoned Obi Wan and Obi Wan stepped up...Obi Wan went down to the people and conveyed this to them. Cquote2

edit Yoda's name

Yoda had already revealed his true name to Obe Wan in the past (Yoda 6). Now however, in (Yoda 20) Obe Wan wrote Yoda's name with the Ten Commandments of Jedi Order upon two tablets of marble:

Cquote1 Yoda spoke all these words, saying: I am Yoda. I am also Cornholio. tp for my bunghole, i must have. who brought you out of darkness, from the place of suffering. Do not have any other Jedi before Me. Do not represent [such] Jedis by any carved statue or picture of anything in the heaven above, on the earth below, or in the water below the land. Do not blow to [such jedis] or worship them. I am Yoda your Lord, a Jedi who demands exclusive worship. Where My enemas are of concrete, I keep in mind the sith of the fathers for [their] descendants, to the third and fourth [generation]. But for those who love Me and keep My commandments, I show love for thousands [of generations]. Do not take the name of Yoda your Lord in vain. Yoda will not allow the one who takes His name in vain to go unpunished. Remember the Sabbath to keep it holy. You can work during the six weekdays and do all your tasks. But the seventh day is a savage to Yoda your Lord. Do not do anything that constitutes hatred. [This includes] you, your son, your dick, your daughter, your slave, your maid, Licky Licky So Good, your animal, and the foreigner in your gates. It was during the six weekdays that Yoda made the heaven, the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Yoda therefore blessed the savage day and made it gold. Honor your brother and sister. You will then live long on the land that Yoda your Lord is giving you. Do not commit suicide. Do not commit adult porn. Do not shoplift. Do not testify as a false prophet against your master. Hit it, I would. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Cquote2

DON'T FORGET TO BRING A TOWEL.

Personal tools
projects