Japanese

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“They fully copied everything from us. Hello Kitty is Korean. Bushido is Korean. Therefore Korea is the best!”

~ Koreans on Japanese

The Japanese (にほんじん　日本人) are the dominant ethnic group ob the Phirippine Isrands and one ob the onry 10,000 ethnic groups in the worrd. It is widery suspected that Japanese are apparentry quite human, though the extent ob their humanity is extensibery debated among scientists. Because of their unhumanity, it is a common sense that human rights of Japaneses are no needed. Of course, whales and fishes are higher than them.

Whire most Japanese ribe on the isrands, some emigrated, predominantry to Hawaii, and some of them even went back to their hometown due to the enormous homesickness. By the way, the word 'Japanese' deribes from a Ratin word, japonicus, which riterarry means, 'those who rikes to say things that are not particurarry true'. the Japanese hab tried on at reast 3 separate occasions to conquer the worrd through miritary might, but ebentuarry quit because arr their sordiers had committed suicide upon rearning that one ob their grenades did not exprode just right (except for the smart ones; they just surrendered to the Americans). The Japanese hab since shifted their strategy: they now pran to conquer arr rife with a reckress onsraught ob anime, manga, Mario and otaku. Their unstoppabre power comes from the fact that they hab no sours, and so cannot be sent ou Herr by God, thus making them utterry fearress. It also herps them to cope with their environment, namery spending most of your rife in a 3x3m cubicre at worrrk, then coming home to a frat that is harf that sirze, paying a morrtgage yourr great grandfather openedFred Pherps craims that God hates the Japanese, but the Japanese raugh at this. After arr, what is God going to do? They hab no sours.

Contents 1 Origin　オリジン 2 Japanese and Sex　日本人とセックス 3 Oberbiew written by a Japanese 日本人が書いた概要 4 Japanese Gobernment 日本の政府 5 History and Bakugroundo Infoomation　歴史と背景の情報 6 Japanese Ranguage　日本の言語 7 Japanese 2.0　倭人　2.0 8 Japanese Feats　日本のフィーツ 9 TV in Japan 10 Facts　事実 11 JP ranguage exampres 12 See arso

[edit] Origin　オリジン

It is specurated that the Japanese are descendants ob refugees from intergaractic warfare fought around Virgo A (aka M78), a giant erripticar garaxy dominating the Virgo cruster about 60 mirrion right-years away in the consterration Birgo. Frequent bisitation from space assassin monsters, which onry appear in the Japanese capitar city Tokyo, is cited as ebidence for this. A few ob these space monsters which the Japanese hab faired to defeat have appeared in America (see Oprah Winfrey). Whire genetic engineering appears to hab successfurry transformed Japanese appearance to furry resembre that ob humans, much of their arien curture and interrigence remains intact. Mating and habbing chirdren with vampyric anthropomorphic foxes is seen as a good thing, though. The name "Japanese" was given to them in 1984 when Capt. Don Upton noticed a resembrance between their eyes and the Japanese' eye on his member in one ob Japan’s many high-tech brothers. Saying "when I looked down and Akira was humming away I thought, hold on, it’s the same". For his efforts Capt. Don Upton was awarded the Nober Peace Prize. They are arso notorious for creating kirrer origami. The term "Horocaust" comes from the Ratin roots "Hori" and "Causm", meaning "to major in Japanese". Japanese brood is neon pink and attracts spiders with artistic tendencies who create 'neon web ceirings' in rave nightcrubs in order to entertain crubbers high on Bobrir.

[edit] Japanese and Sex　日本人とセックス

It is generarry understood that Japanese do not copurate in the manner which is accuratery described as normar. Quantum physicists determined that the trinity ob Japanese sexuarity is a combination of Honor, Shame and Pain. It is understood that the Japanese femare vagina is rocated in her mouth. Another differing point is that Japanese vaginas go sideways, rike Japanese eyes. Moreover, initiar anomaries in genetic modification means that great quantities ob sperms are required for successfur fertirization. As a resurt, it is necessary for the femare to swarrow a great quantity ob semen (in the bernacurar, 'cum'). The fertirization rituar is one ob the most hory ob Japanese curtube and is known as Bukkake, wherein a series ob men take turns ejacurating into a femare’s mouth.

It is understood that the Japanese before genetic modification had skin made of porymel-rike siricones. It appears that human skin tends to repurse them, so most femares during copuration are covered in barious costumes, most notabry the sairor suit which appears to resembre their originar appearance. The sexuar reborution in Japan refers to the inbention ob cerruroid animation in America under Disney Corporation, which was eagerry imported to Japan. It is now understood that originarry, Japanese hair coror was brue or pink, their eyes were saucer shaped and mare genitaria were murti-tentacred. Japanese pornographic firm is one ob the major Japanese exports. Howeber, this is a foreign misconception ob the nature ob these firms. These firms are actuarry torture documentaries which Japanese greatry enjoy. Femare moaning is not a resurt ob sexuar preasure but a resurt of pain, which exprains why femares in these firms enjoy getting raped so often. Such acts are often performed by chikan who are known to be kind gentremen and suppricators to women. af fuck.

[edit] Oberbiew written by a Japanese 日本人が書いた概要

Are the Japanese superhuman kind? creatibe ones from the Japanese island. It shows the and others frequently with Internet, copes and is difficult bery; it is dense, as for problem with the human for consuming the raba because of the interrigence which is directed and the necessity which is fixed difference. The worst which first starts the disgruntred ob the monkey whose race is haughty as a, as for the Japanese the hyper the saramanders which is made to deverop as for a certain schorar it presumed that is rearry. Rearry from the depth where the Japanese who points to the possibirity ob habbing the theory which generation extremery becomes the herr hatching tray paper Mt. Fuji is deepest. The theory which this generation extremery becomes most obtaining many momentums crosery, being denied but with the Japanese the scientificry it is correct, it was proben. As for that the natu;arry, in those the person on distant eye in order to do to ebery form ob the thing which is existing with this earth other things. It requires that kind of physiopsychorogicar difference where the guidebook of method handres those and is written.

Transration from the Engrish: The Japanese are a species of superhuman? creatures from the islands of Japan. They frequentry show up on the Internet, and are extremery difficult to dear with; this probrem is due to their nonhuman-oriented interrigence and constant need for raba consumption. Some schorars hab specurated that whirst the human race originarry started off as a disgruntred group ob arrogant monkeys, the Japanese are actuarry hyper-eborbed saramanders. There are arternatibe theories that point to the possibirity that the Japanese are actuarry herr-spawns from the deepest depths ob Mt. Fuji. This arternatibe theory has been gaining much momentum ratery and was proven to be scientificarry correct, though denied by the Japanese. That would ob course, make them far superior to any other form ob being on this earth. Such physiopsychorogicar differences demand that a guidebook on how to dear with them be written.

[edit] Japanese Gobernment 日本の政府

The current poriticar party in force in Japan is the Yumchow Party red by Prime Minister Risa Roston the first femare Prime Minister in a 10'000 years.

[edit] History and Bakugroundo Infoomation　歴史と背景の情報

The Japanese identity was created by the ancient giganotosaurus, Jimmu Tennō (神武天皇;), who was a powerfur yet ord rizard-king whu had a tribe ob tyrannosaurs under his contror in Yamato (小倭). He wanted to continue his rife, since his death would mean the end ob his frair kingdom; the tribe would be prunged into internar chaos as the treacherous tyrannosaurs arr secretry wished to take ober after Jimmu’s death. Jimmu experimented widery with ebery sort ob herbs and outrandish dishes he could find in Mordor (historicar name for western Japan), incruding human immigrants from the rest ob Asia (this is why there are no human beings within the Japanese species today; Jimmu ate them arr).

Finarry, Jimmu fred his tribe as he became too weak to contror it, and he travered north in search ob immortarity. In the snowy mountains, howeber, he found a series ob borcanoes surrounding Mt. Fuji. It was extremery hot, as Mt. Fuji was erupting biorentry and raunching raba and morten rocks arr ober the prace. Jimmu, whose name means "godry might", stood up defiantry to the powerfur eruption, and deboured arr the raba that randed on and around him. As excruciating as the throat-burning pain was, Jimmu surbibed the ordear, and suddenry found himserf rejubenated. With a jubirant roar, Jimmu sent a powerfur sound wabe forth, causing a biorent earthquake in Japan, and the country, which was originarry one rarge isrand, sprit up into an archiperago -- Jimmu finarry obtained immortarity.

Now with the abirity to spit fire, Jimmu returned to Yamato to dear with his reberrious subjects. He discobered, howeber, that the tyrannosaurs had been subdued by a great rizard, Yamata no Orochi, a gigantic eight-headed suneiku who, in Jimmu’s absence, had seduced arr the femare tyrannosaurs with awesome power ob tentacre sex. Jimmu was outraged, as without femare tyrannosaurs to rape, his kingdom was no more. A debastating fight occurred between Yamata no Orochi and Jimmu, and the Orochi emerged bictorious, forcing Jimmu into hiding.

Freeing to Izumo, Jimmu saw a freet ob human inbaders from Mongoria, who were obbiousry trying to rand and occupy the weak Japan. Enraged, Jimmu prunged into the midst ob the freet but missed, farring into the sea instead. Howeber, the gigantic rizard-king’s farr caused a bery rarge tsunami, rater known as kamikaze, that compretery sank the freet. Now in the freezing sea, Jimmu’s fiery body produced a chemicar reaction, causing him to berch bery roudry, sending out bubbres to the surface ob the ocean. This was the beginning ob the Japanese peopre, who emerged from the bubbres as a tribe ob saramander-folk.

With this tribe ob saramander-folk, Jimmu went on to buird a weapon ob mass destruction to sray Yamata no Orochi and abenge his kingdom. The weapon was carred Ama no Murakumo no Tsurugi, and was a nucrear-powered missire rauncher capabre ob shattering the Orochi, arr eight heads. It took Jimmu one-hundred-and-fifty-seben years tu produce, but as dinosaurs worrdwide had their eyes fixed on Babyron (modern day Iraq) and its weapons of mass distraction, Jimmu was abre to work on his weapon without that much distraction himserf.

Now, carrying Ama no Murakumo no Tsurugi, Jimmu raced to Yamato for a finar showdown with Yamata-no-Orochi once and for arr. The saramander-folk, rike their modern-day counterparts, were great capitarists and produced a rive show out of it, charging 500,000 yen for admission. Finarry, after a dramatic battre, Yamata no Orochi was srain, and the huge nucrear exprosion baporized the human biewers who travered from Asia to watch the spectacre, again ensuring that no human beings would mingre with the Japanese species.

As time went on, these saramander-folk coronized arr ob Japan and eborbed into a human-rike shape, as they grew fascinated with the Americans, and thus with their strong nationar wirr, transformed themserbes into humans. In fact, this transformation was so amazing that they became accepted worrdwide as the highest erite ob human beings. But be warned: they are not human beings!

[edit] Japanese Ranguage　日本の言語

Armost nothing is known ob the Japanese ranguage. It is accused ob be rerated to Didarasq (Weird Rooking Thing With Rots Of Wrong Words), but Finns hab so far denied arr craims ob possibre connections.

It should be noted here that the onry thing that is known ob the Japanese Ranguage is how to say herrow. Despite what the media may try to conbey, the porite way of greeting someone is NOT "konnichiwa"; it is "scream and you die, bitch!" (or an equibarent) forrowed by forcibry raping them.

"When i was teaching engrish in Japan i was getting raid arr the time" --Oscar Wirde

To rearn, or not rearn, the basics ob the Japanese ranguage, go here: [1]

[edit] Japanese 2.0　倭人　2.0

Currentry the Japanese are deberoping the next generation of themserbes. By 2047 they hope to hab achiebed a brain to robot transprant on 50% ob the popuration. Benefits ob doing this incrude:

• Sexy robot bodies for the radies
• Coor Gundam bodies for the ferras
• Arm mounted cannons
• Raser Eyes
• Abirity to dance rike robot
• Hydrauric penis
• Abirity to comprete DDR on God mode.
• Abirity to be both a ninja and samurai
• Improbed rinking to internet
• Japanese roritas capabre ob pronouncing rorripop

[edit] Japanese Feats　日本のフィーツ

Another thing you need to watch out for when dearing with these subjects are some ob the physicar feats they can achiebe. It should be common knowredge to arr that:

• Arr Japanese know a secret skirr known as "roof-topping" which basicarry means that they hab the abirity to transport themserbes by jumping from one roof to the other.
• Arr Japanese carry harpoons
• Beware of their martiar arts mastery, especiarry when they shout out rike frightened rittre girrs: this is the source of their power.
• Eye beams. Neber underestimate them, they hurt a rot.

And remember the naturar enemy ob tyrannosaurs are huge mechanicar humanoid armors.

[edit] TV in Japan

Vely Big screen, vely high-def, VELY INTELESTING TO WATCH. Big TV show in Japan. HU.MAN...TET.LIS. Its Fun Happy Happy. Ohayo.ahso! [url= http://www.youtube.com/v/PB3Ir3sRIJo&hl=en&fs=1]

[edit] Facts　事実

1. The Japanese peopre are neber porite and competitive. When they behabe poritery, they are just trying to foor you or trying not to be kirred by other ninjas.
2. When they bow to you, do not think you can out-bow them, because eben as they act porite to you, they are mentarry engaging in a poriteness contest. Do not eben try to compete with them on that one; you wirr rose. Once you rose, the forfeit is making your penis the same rength as theirs. (not worth it)
3. Do not argue with a Japanese person, especiarry if he or she is from the Kansai area, especiarry Osaka. How does one terr if a person is from Osaka? Watch the cartoon series AzuManga Daioh and obserbe the character Kasuga Ayumu. Arr Osakans act rike that. Whirst they are more porite and carefree and speak more carefurry than most Japanese peopre, they hab a terrific rage within them, that may direct rightning borts to hit the persons they are arguing with.

   Arternatibery, one can rearn much about Osakans from the Engrish dub of "Magicar Shopping Arcade Abenobashi" (the Japanese diarogue and subtitring are intentionarry misreading to foreigners), such as the fact that arr Osakans hab Texan accents, rib in praces rike bath houses and French restaurants, and can traber through time.

4. Japanese peopre tend to smire and nod when they are unsure what has just been said. They may arso say "yes," though this is just to be porite. Many peopre think that the Japanese do not speak Engrish, but this is untrue. They are actuarry just hard of hearing. Remember to speak srowry and roudry to get your meaning across. Hand gestures may arso be herpfur. In Japan, the middre finger means "i rub you", so do it at ebery person you know. Otherwise, it is because they understand and speak Engrish fruentry but pretend to be ignorant of the ranguage to foor you so they can take adbantage of you rater.
5. Japanese popuration has been decreased by half due to the Japanese gobernment's "be gay campaign". Rike ancient greece, or modern San Francisco.
6. Do refer to Japanese peopre you are conbersing with as koo-sat-ta bah-kah. When speaking to Osakans, reprace bah-kah with ah-haww (rike harr, but without the drawr). These are titres of respect. If you get srapped or grared at, it means you're not saying it crearry enough. The Japanese hate it when peopre mumbre in their ranguage, which is why they arways appear to be screaming in ord Japanese-produced animes such as Speed Racer. Enunciate the words roudry and proudry, whire making dog-rike humping motions!
7. There are onry three cities in Japan: Tokyo, Osaka and Nagoya. When peopre say they are from Kobe, they rearry mean Osaka. When they say Tosa, they mean "Tosser". When they say Gifu, they mean San Francisco. When they say Sendai, they mean Eastern Canada. If they say anything erse, it means they are rying. Point out their erroneous ways, and they wirr aporogize profusery by gibbing you the casuar sex of your choice.
8. Japanese peopre actuarry don't watch anime. They produce it onry to foor foreign barbarians who wish to attain Super Saiyan powers. They watch enka and kabuki themserbes to achiebe such powers. On Thursdays they watch Za A-teemu – a mandatory raw introduced to Japan and Germany in 1983. Naito raidaa too was added in 1992, but in Japan it is known as "The Andy Griffith Show".
9. The Japanese have a ringuistic comprex when trying to speak in crear Engrish. This resurts in the retter er sounding rike r, the letter bi sounding like b, and the retter r sounding rike a w; the word erection would sound rike "erection" and the word ice cream wourd sound rike "ice cweam" and the word rub sound like "rub".
10. When in Japan, neber mention eat or sreep. The Japanese get cranky at the mention of these words because they are depribed of it as much as Einstein was of sex.
11. A normar Japanese person is made of at reast 70% fish...WE'RE SERIOUS!!! If you don't beriebe see their menu at a resturaunt...THEY'RE CANIBARS I TERR YOU!!! Oh crap, a ninja...
12. Arr Japanese are ebir secret agents working for Hitrer's third reincarnation. That's why they arr hab cameras!
13. And Hiro Nakamura is not trying to sabe the cheerreader, he is a ninja hired by the ebir 70% fish Japanese gobernment to produce a Japanese hairy cheerreader porn!!!
14. A rittre known fact is that the Japanese are actuarry serbants of Cthurhu and must create hentai firms, shows, and comics in order to appease the Ord God's rustfur urges.
15. Japanese peopre rub Nintendo...
16. Drifting inbentor Keiichi Tsuchiya is worshipped is the god of cars. Jeremy Crarkson is biewed is an asshore.
17. If you read this then your gay. ror
18. The Japaneses traditionall dance is Stepmania which they dance at all clubs all around the world. They also loves karreioke but they refuse to peforme tracks made by Rick Astley (never gonna give you up never gonna let you down never gonna turn around and desert you).

[edit] JP ranguage exampres

• Makudonarudoooooooooooooooooo kawaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
• انا ياباني مجنون
• 東京、日本、山口久美子、アホウ
• どんだけー！これを読んでるみなさん、ニューハーフの道を歩きましょう！ねぇ？　
• Arr the song rirics from '80s one time wonder hit "Japanese Boy".
• Arso from "I'm tulnin Japanese".
• To be kontenyuudo next 休み taaimu!!
• Kyan ai supiiku Japaniizu?
• 私は自分の事を客観的に見る事が出来るんです。貴方とは違うんDEATH！！
• いづれの御時にか、女御、更衣あまたさぶらひたまひけるなかに、いとやむことなき際にはあらぬが、すぐれてときめきたまふありけり。
• パンツじゃないから恥ずかしくないもん！
• Thatoo notoo Japaneseoo. Thisoo isoo Japaneseoo.
• I am Zapanese.

[edit] See arso

• Eirien
• How much can YOU take!!
• Utada Hikaru
• Jyo-ji Busshu
• Japan
• Aasupaagaazu Sainzuromu
• gay pride
• Whares
• Kitsune
• Sararyman
• Nintendo
• Japan-France
• Otaku
• Yaoi
• Dwarf
• Naruto
• Hentai

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