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January 5: International Day of Minor Hubris
- 1794 - The French start to use Leonardo da Vinci's crude design of the helicopter to speed up growing guillotine queues.
- 1838 - Samuel Morse invents the first electrical telegraph and immediately sends out his first message: "49/m/nyc STOP any girls up 4 cyber? STOP"
- 1955 - Birth of whiskey maker and drunk-driving victim Johnnie Walker, the Johnnie Walker Act of 1990 being named in his honour
- 1992 - In an emotional speech, IG-88 comes out to the world to announce he has tested positive for the Michelangelo Virus
- 1994 - Richard Nixon dies. His body isn't discovered for another fifteen weeks due to the fact that no one cared to check
- 2004 - Fox News denies reporting showing favour to Republicans and dismisses it as "a left-wing conspiracy out to target our saviour of all things freedom, George W. Bush"
- 2009 - President Barack Obama is sworn into office. Entire world thanks God his name isn't Bush. Or George. Or Hussein...