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January 27: International Bring Your Exotic Pet To Work Day
- 1313 - The Pope and King Charlemagne lead the first celebration of this holiday.
- 1776 - Thomas Jefferson, suffering from writers' block, brings his pet negro Toby to work. Jeffy wakes up later in the day from a nap to discover that Toby had finished writing the remaining 96% of the Declaration of Independence. Jeffy promptly whipped Toby and submitted the Declaration to the Continental Congress the next day.
- 1933 - Adolf Hitler wows to destroy all Jews when his pet Jew sleeps with his girlfriend. Makes Stalin his new pet.
- 1945 - President Harry Truman let his komodo dragon press the big red button, authorizing the use of nookz.
- 1947 - Mahatma Gandhi takes his pet rhinoceros to a rally. Scares the British into leaving India.
- 1959 - Keith Olbermann is born in New York. The hospital staff let a doctor's pet Gila monster deliver Olbermann, only to have the animal kidnap Olbermann and raise him for the next 18 years.
- 1984 - Winston Smith brings his parrot to work, only to have it arrested by the Thought Police for thoughtcrime.
- 1995 - Osama bin Laden trains his pet Orangutan to use AK47s and RPGs. Becomes mascot for terrorists all over the world.
- 2005 - Amir Khan brings his pet Shahrukh Khan to his film shoot. Says it is his lucky charm.
- 2010 - Howard Zinn and J.D. Salinger die on the same day. They have a long-winded conversation about literature outside the Pearly Gates, boring and annoying everyone else in line.
- 2010 - Amitabh Bachchan brings Aishwarya Rai on a leash, marries her off to his son.
- 2011 - Aishwarya Rai bears a child, put on leash too.