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“He's clearly a blithering idiot.”
“I have soiled myself!”
“Oh a cock!”
“This man stole my clothes.”
James May (born 4th September 1860) is an eccentric toy collector as well as "the other guy" on motoring show Top Gear. His driving style can be defined as comedically slow, earning him the nickname Captain Slow. Next to Richard Hamster and Jeremy Clarkson, he has been an essential part in the presentation and maintenance of the motoring show Top Gear.
Sometimes nicknamed The Other Guy, James is renowned for his ability to makes snails feel good about themselves by driving supercars at a snail's approximate moving speed. That was a sarcastic comparison - a hundred more of those and I could replace James May as the other guy on Top Gear. But I won't.
Born into a family of eccentric Asian people and he adopted the last name Darcy due to being Irish. He is currently attending Madison meadows Middle school. He Is sitting next to his friends Robert Minnig and His friend Arron Carter and his best friend Houdan Hussein.
James, unhappy with his progress as the other guy in Top Gear, branched out his presenting abilities in a number of other shows, such as James May's 20th Century, a show which remains blissfully unaware that the 20th century ended some time ago; and the one where he collects toys, being blissfully unaware that most people who are watching the show also grew up with the same toys. These minor flaws have earned the shows hefty sections of time on the Dave channel, rather than their intended place on BBC1. Oh, and there was also one where he dissected a shark, apparently. He was also smothered by a tramp beard on BBC2's shooting stars.
James currently resides in a 3 bedroom flat not an apartment, ye bleedin' yank..., which begs the question; why doesn't he move into a house? Apart from his large stash of engineering porn which has become stuck in his spare room, nothing is stopping him. James mentioned during a BBC interview that he prefers to live in small places, although in the same interview Jeremy Clarkson said it was because James is the other guy. In the same interview, Richard Hammond was questioned, but he couldn't reach the microphone.
“That's not true.”
James owns a Ford Fiesta, an ashtray, a Lambouroghini (or Lamborghini, or maybe Lamboroghini? I don't know) Murcielago, a Bellanger-Denhaut 22 twin-engined bomber/reconnaissance flying-boat, a brown horse called Walter, and a Spitfire, all of which he uses to travel to the Top Gear office every morning.
ALSO, the Stig is.....wait for it......Ben Collins, yes everybody knows now, the new one is probably a turtle.
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America - Atheist - Autofellatio - Beefheart - Bligh - Britain - Canada - Caveman - Communist - Hook - Irrelevant - Jack Harkness - Janeway - Kaptainskye - Kirk - Knuckles - Marvel - Morgan - Oblivious - Obvious - Omnipotent - Planet - Raccoon - Selfish - Sisko - Slow - Video