J2O

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J2OMOLECULE
A J2O Molecule, white representing juice and red, oxygen.
“If it wasn't for J2O, I would be eating Pringles right now.”
~ Julius Pringles on J2O

edit Summary

"Dijuice oxide" is a chemical compiled from the elements juice and oxygen in the ratio of two juice atoms to one oxygen atom. It is a compound present in the American water supply, due to many complaints of "tasteless water". The production exceeds 100,000 gallons a day with the main consumer, Julius Pringles who drinks up to an excess of 15 gallons a day (see main article for more details).

edit Controversy

The J2O on many occasions has been mistaken for a alcoholic drink and has caused many arrests, pub fights and murders. The government filed for a change in bottle shape due to the Prime Minister of Britain thinking it was an alcoholic beverage and acting drunk after one bottle. It caused him to kiss the Chancellor of the Exchequer.

edit Use as a drug

J2O, due to its incredibly addictive juice molecules is an alternative to Pringles and heroine, and used as a way to help addicts to get off harmful substances, although you get entirely dependent on it there are no negative side effects. People known to be addicted to J2O include Tony Blair, David Beckham, Julius Pringles and every single American as the water has been "gifted" with thousands of gallons of it.

J2o
A tasty non alcoholic bottle of J2O.

edit Effects

The effects of J2O are not incredibly noticeable although drowzyness is a slight side effect. The withdrawal simptoms however are incredibly serious and medical attention is recommended before attempting to go clean, some effects exclude: major schizophrenia, constant vomiting and cardiac arrest.

edit Flavours

  • Bogberry
  • Apple Crumble & Custard
  • Apple & Mango
  • Apple & Raspberry
  • Apple & Melon
  • Apple & Apple
  • Not Apple
  • BBQ Sauce
  • 5 Year Old Australian
  • Bottle
  • Cocaine
  • Mystery flavor (apple)
  • Heinz Tomato Ketchup
  • Bald Eagle
  • Orange & Cranberry
  • Orange & Dispassionate Fruit
  • Tissue Paper and RuneScape
  • Water
  • Tastes Like Apples, Made From Apples, But Not Apples
  • Definately NOT Apples
  • Wheat Juice & Cat Piss

edit See Also

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