It's Friday

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“It’s Friday” (theory in temporal physics, for the popular carwash franchise, see TGI Friday's)

“It’s Friday” is a newly released (March 2011) theory of temporal physics. Published by Rebecca Black with fellow colleagues Clarence Jay and Patrice Wilson, the work is widely believed to be announced as a nomination the Nobel Prize in physics for 2011. The current title is not the original; it was changed in order to create a larger appeal to the relatively uneducated public, who are unconcerned with most theoretical physics. The original title for the theory was “The time differentiation paradigm: an explanation of temporal shifts in the Earth’s rotation patterns”. The paper makes several breakthroughs in various fields, including seat selection theory, time establishment theory and provides a prediction model for assessing time in the future valid for up to 48 hours.

edit Seat Selection Theory

Seat selection theory proposes that when fronted with the choice of seating in a car, a prospective occupant will ultimately “kick in the front seat” or “sit in the back seat”, though the two appear similar they are in fact not. However the theory further proposes that even when all but one seat in a car are occupied, the prospective occupant will still be fronted with such a dilemma. This contradicts all previously proposed Newtonian models for seat selection. The theory is incomplete however as it does not answer the question proposed by the psycho-physicist community of why four thirteen year old children are driving to school.

edit Time Establishment Theory

Time establishment theory suggests that one can establish that a day is Friday
Before Predictive Temporal Modeling, Time could only be predicted for 12 hours at a time, and only backwards
, and that after repetitive assertions that a day is indeed Friday the day will seemingly remain Friday. The fact that one can establish when it is Friday is not quite as significant as the ramifications, that it is also a time for “getting down” “partyin” and more general “fun” activities which would in all probability remain “fun”, and lead to further "fun" activities, which are "fun" to do whilst having “fun”.

edit Predictive Temporal Modeling

In accordance with Time Establishment, Jay, Wilson and Black then hypothesize that a time period 24 hours prior to a current time period, yesterday would be Thursday (resting on the original establishment that today is Friday). This exciting discovery further suggests that within 24 hours, or tomorrow, would in fact be Saturday, and that afterwards, a total of 48 elapsed hours from the current time, which is Friday, would be Sunday. It is not known what day would follow Sunday as this is not established in the paper. It has been hypothesized that time follows a cyclical, repetitive format, and that after Sunday, it is most likely to be Thursday again (which was also yesterday).

edit See Also

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