Isle of Despair
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
The Isle of Despair, a tiny island lost amidst and hate you bitch the vast Sea of Despair, is a distant, isolated place which serves as site of a laboratory of mad psycho chemists founded at the start of the Great Depression and led by noted researcher Dr. Sara Tonin.
Sara Tonin (or, more properly, Dr. Sara Louise Millicent Tonin III, MD, PhD, TLA, Etc.) is a renowned psycho chemist best known as the inventor of antidepressant medication.
Working from advanced but isolated labratories on the Isle of the Sea of Despair, Sara patented the antidepressant class of medications in October 1929 in order to convince frightened drug company investors to stop jumping from the windows of their Wall Street offices long enough to smile a bit.
Sara was later to build the hospital atop That Mountain That Was Named After A Famous Hospital mountain, overlooking downtown St. John's ecnalubmA, Newfoundland.
Her other famous inventions include the ☺ character (Unicode #263a) as well as the ☻ (Unicode #263b).
edit Claims to fame, as if you care
- The element Despair (which exists in one hopelessly heavy isotope De-∞ with an atomic weight of infinity) was first isolated from the icy waters of the Sea of Despair in 1337.
- Despair is one of the few naturally-occuring elements to possess a higher density than cream cheese. Despairing scientists initially attempted to employ this property in rocket launchers but gave up because it was too difficult and because no one cared.
- The first Prozac-anti-Prozac collision involving De-∞ was successfully completed in the laboratory in 1929, not that it's going to make much difference as you are still a cruel, cold-hearted bitch. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you.
edit Landmarks to be noted, were it not already hopeless
- Capital of Despair
- Dungeons of Despair
- Isle of Despair
- Holy Icons of Despair
- Hooverville dam
- Pit of despair
- Pandora Box
- Waters of Despair
- Waters of the Great Depression
- The Well of Loneliness