From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Won't get very far in life not saying 'is'!”
Is is the plural form of the letter "I". Contrary to popular belief, it is not the third person singular present indicative form of the verb "be".
"Is" was invented by the wacky vaudeville duo William Howard Taft and James K. Polk (postmortem) in 1906 as a running gag in their routine involving whale blubber and two tins of shoeshine. It was not popular and resulted in Taft's comedic career spiraling ever downward, eventually bottoming out in presidency.
"Is" then enjoyed a long period of disuse. However, in the 1950s, the term was revived by some beatniks. They were kinda creepy and weird. They were killed personally by Joseph McCarthy with a melon, and so the inheritance of "is" fell to him.
Then he died.
President Bill Clinton's 1998 statement "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is" was meant to call into question the widespread incorrect usage of the term. Shortly thereafter, he submitted a bill banning several words from usage, including "is". It was promptly rejected by Congress due to an outbreak of syphilis.
edit Improper usage
Is is is.
Is is not not.
Was was is..
Now is is is.
Is was never not.
Is used to be was.
Now is is is.
Was (Not Was).
Is is is? Is is is.
edit Famous uses of "is"
“I is a doughnut. That's good, somebody translate that.”
“I be too! [Translation: I is too.]”
“I hear he is a whiz of a wiz, just doing his biz and taking a whiz! [Giggle giggle]...can we do it again?”
“There is no is.”
“Thith, thith ith Mith Thmith.”
“Hey, what is?”