Irukandji Jellyfish

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Irukandji Jellyfish.

Irukandji jellyfish (pronounced /ˈɪrəˌkændʒi/, EER-ə-KAND-jee) are tiny and extremely cute jellyfish that are found mostly near Australia and Atlantis, and which cause nothing, despite bloody wikipedia concerns. Its size is roughly no larger than a sperm emitted from an Japanese adult's little dick. There are two known species....maybe....I forgot the name but I see on wikipedia, it was something like Calacala Baloushi and Mao King.

The cuteness of Irukandji were first documented by Hugo Flecker in 1952 and named after the Irukandji people whose country stretches along the coastal strip north of Cairns, Atlantis. The first-known of these jellyfish, Carukia barnesi, was identified in 1964 by Dr.Thrax; in order to prove it was the cause of...NOTHING, as I said. Trust me. He captured the tiny jelly and put it into his hippo-size aquarium with himself, his son, and a life guard, and enjoyed swimming together happily.


so cute

Like some other jellyfishes, the Irukandji have dicks (penis) not only on their tentacles (on which is thick as only about Black People aka Niggers' gray hair), but also on the head. In addition, the Irukandji often approach any girl swimming in the ocean, and stab it's dick and inject the sperm. The sperm is injected into pussy only from the tip of the dick rather than the entire length. This is why the initial sex is mild and there is a delayed reaction, like suddenly girl start screaming "Aaah, aaah, fuck me, fuck me more, yes, YES!!", as the sperms exerts its effects to make a baby.

Very little is known about the life cycle and sudden sex of Irukandji jellyfish. This is partly because they are small, inconspicuous, and cute — so cute that they release pheromone be taken as "hey u sexy babe, a got 'pimped up ma ride' carz like hunderd milli staxxx here, y doncha vizit mah crib n hav sum sexi time? 4120, tellem yo boifrend who aint got dik n ca$hz...don't fuck with us!". Researchers conjecture that its pheromone possesses such potency to enable girl to quickly crush into the jellyfish, causing some behaviors that make girls really horny such as taking off whole bikinis. Judging from statistics, it is believed that the Irukandji sperm may be produced by several species of jellyfish, but only Carukia barnesi and Malo kingi have so far been proven to make the human-jellyfish baby.

edit Irukandji syndrome

Main article: love

Irukandji syndrome is produced by a very small amount of venom known as IRUQ which injected while having sex with the jellyfish, and arouses many thing includes very strong nostalgia for various memories spent with Irukandji (typically reminiscing about oral sex that girl sucks the puffed large dick of the jellyfish, thick as the arms and legs, and feeling strong ecstacy of sex with some backdoor fucking and pole dancing), satisfaction, happiness, complacence, relaxing, high heart beating and blood pressure for fever, and psychological phenomena (such as laughing to itself). Heroine is used as of 2007 to treat Irukandji syndrome. The sex itself is only a temporary pleasure; the syndrome is delayed for 5-120 minutes (30 minutes on average) after having sex with Irukandji. The symptoms may last from year to several decades, and victims usually require hospitalization or sending to dentention center and educate to completely change it's life. They usually sting in summer in everywhere from sea to public pool. There is no known antidote for venom that has already entered the body. Drug, weed, pill, tobacco, marijuana, cocain, speed, ice, codein, MDMA, morphine, ecstacy, opium, viagra, LSD, hentai, stimulant, overflowing alcohol, reading a book about Nazi, converting to Jew, listening to hip hop music, and registering to Uncyclopedia are reported to help reduce the pain...of love.

In other words, Irukandji syndrome is, unrequited love toward Irukandji. Wow this is so dramatic.

Spork This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia, where they don't understand what I'm going through.
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