Irish Potato Famine

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Potatoblight

The three stages of potato blight. 1. ― Dark, puzzle-like lines appear on the potato. 2. ― Symbols and punctuation appear in each puzzle-like formation. 3. ― The potato turns into inedible shit.

Nutrition labels are statements of nutritional value and ingredients on food items. But that's not what I want to write about. I want to write about the Irish Potato Famine, a period of mass starvation, disease and emigration that occurred in Ireland between 1845 and 1852. A disease affecting potatoes known as "potato blight"[1] was ultimately to blame, but most chose, and some still do to this day, to believe the famine was part of a greater conspiracy to further worsen living conditions in Ireland by the United States in order to force Irish workers to come build the transcontinental railroad.

The famine killed over one million people and nearly imploded the Irish economy[2] due to the Irish currency being backed by potatoes. Some historians disagree with me on this point by falsely claiming that Ireland was governed by the United Kingdom at the time and that Ireland had no regional currency. I contest this on the basis that I am right and they are plainly wrong.

Beginning

These potatoes are most commonly known for it strong desire to take over canada. They are drawn to canada for there natural prey is the humpbacked north canadian moose, they also like purple jack rabbits with lime green stipes and three nostrils. At the moment the irish potatoe is at war with over confident Japanese llamas that barf on poodles when it rains. Irish potatoes have the special ability to digest meatloaf at very high speeds.

Middle

Irish patotoes live in the underground demension of waffles where they harvest crayons which are commonly found baking spanish glow in the dark turdles every other friday. A known fact about these potatoes is that they have problems with un nutritional wheat thins. They are exceptional at making illegal u turns on interstates without being detected.

End

Chuck norris is the president of all irish potatoes.

Aftermath

A sentiment still exists in Ireland that children are the bane of society, for they produce nothing of worth. This is reflected through steady rises in incidents which most would see as child abuse or neglect within Ireland. Some sociologists have likened Irish parents to being much like offspring-devouring wolf spiders who will not hesitate to devour their own children on the smallest whim.

Memorials for the potato famine have since been established. A large stone wall with the names of people known to have died in the famine was designed in 1932 and is currently on display at the Dublin Museum of Irish Misery, the largest museum in the world. Some have complained about the exhausting list of people with surnames starting with the letter "O" which makes it exceptionally difficult to locate ancestors. According to the wall, 8,000 people with the name "Séamus O'Sullivan" died during the potato famine in 1847.

See also

Notes

  1. Phytophthora infestans, a mold. That's it...what, did you expect some funny citation?
  2. <insert joke here about the Irish economy>
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