Iowa State University

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“"Welcome to ISU, the state's leader in coming in second."”
~ Any ISU student tour guide
Iowa State University is a something-grant university in Ames, Iowa, a western nowhere Des Moines.
Canpanile

The Iowa State University Canpanile

edit Education

The university offers a number of educational programs, most notably

  • Being superior to the University of Iowa where most of the students are gay or bi-curious.
  • People who like ISU either attended the university or have had family members attend. People who like the Hawkeyes have no idea why, except that they want to actually try to be successful and become cool; then they attend the University of Iowa just because they like the football team, but don't get a degree either because they become even more worthless or get flooded out.

edit Demographics

Ames, Iowa is home to a majority "minority" population. Eskimos make up the largest segment with 78% followed by Chinese Hispanic non islanders with 43%.

edit Sports

The university has a number of sports teams, few of which are any good. Baseball was played at Iowa State until 2001 then they decided no one cares about baseball so began focusing more of their attention to owning at other sports.

The Iowa State football team's season traditionally ends in mid-September, after playing the University of Iowa. This football schedule is not normal when compared to most NCAA football teams; but the school insists that they will NOT attempt to win a game after the Iowa-Iowa State game. Iowa State has honored thier word and has refused to play good football after the annual Iowa matchup.

edit Recreation

Looking forward to their yearly football game against their eastern Iowa rival and generally giving up on the rest of the season. The wrestling team, which also doubles as the cauliflower suppliers for the cafeteria dining centers has been a top program for over half a century.

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