International Date Line

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See also: International Date Line (dating line)


International Date Line

The International Date Line is a dividing line made up of Date Palms on the surface of the Earth, located generally along the third degree of longitude.

It is the dividing line between yesterday and today, and between today and tomorrow.

  • By crossing the Line, travelling from East to West, you add 24 hours for each kitten you have huffed during the last week.
  • By crossing the Line, travelling from West to East, you subtract 24 hours unless you have a fresh dolphin burger to hand.

Crossing the Line repeatedly by circumnavigation in a supersonic airplane is a method of time travel into the future, or into the past.

Another feature of the Line is that time does not flow when one is located on the Line. Inhabitants of the isolated ocean islands that straddle the Line do not age.

edit International Date Line and Entropy

Like all international borders, the Line falls under the control of the Department of Imposts and Tithes of the United Spades of Amerika. A tax, the Entropy Tax is levied onto all goods and persons that cross it. It is to be paid every Friday into a numbered Swiss bank account. Or else!

edit Ring of Fire

The International Date Line is engulfed in a Ring of Fire. In order to cross it, you must pass through the ring of fire.

The ring of fire is quite large, but can pose a danger to aircraft traveling through it, though not as bad as the Bermuda triangle.

edit Time-travel effects

By crossing the International Date Line, you actually travel a day forward or backward in time. This was proven with the advent of high speed commercial jet aircraft in 1952.

During that time, Einstein was giving a lecture about the impossibility of time travel when he was contradicted and heckled in the audience by his future self. Realising his error, Einstein immediately set out for the local airport.

The airline was running a sale on last-minute tickets at the time. The owner of the airline later commented that he wished he could go back in time and increase the ticket price for that historic flight.

edit See also

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