International Baccalaureate

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about International Baccalaureate.

The subjugation of some Quebec IB students extends itself up to their graduation party, time of their illusional release from Satan's sign..

I.B. student working on a project

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The Prince of Darkness — the ultimate purveyor of all things wicked, vile, and malevolent — has personally reviewed this article. The submitter and all subsequent editors are damned to eternal torment in hell fire
Considering selling your soul? For great rates call 1-800-666-EVIL.

This article is BS.
Quit fucking around and please
add some actual "content" to it.

“The IB is the smartest thing a stupid person can do… It is also the stupidest thing a smart person can do. Sort of like riding a beaver.”

~ Oscar Wilde on IB

“The most crap IB school in the whole wide world.”

~ Nandkishore Sarda (chairman) Sarda Group of Companies on Ecole Mondiale World School , Juhu Mumbai

“Stop editing these quotes u fools ;) and get back to work u IB lifeless pricks”

~ Me on IB

“You SHALL NOT pass!”

~ Gandalf on IB

A warning from Gandalf: HEED IT!

Some people have relationship problems. If you're in IB, IB is your problem.

“Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.”

~ Dante on IB

“IB. Therefore I BS.”

~ IB Student on IB

“You are just a number.”

~ IB coordinator to a student

“What? This is not Sparta! This is HELL!”

~ Leonidas on IB

“Can somebody tell me why I'm doing this?”

~ Everyone on IB

“I would commit suicide, but I don't have the fucking time!”

~ An IB student

“I did it 'cause my instructor promised me that an IB diploma means free BJs...”

~ A hallucinated IB student

“Sorry I can't come out tonight, my world lit essay was in for last week and I should really start it”

~ IB follower on IB

“The age of A Levels is over. The age of the IB is about to begin.”

~ Gandalf on IB

“Jenny WAS a friend of mine”

~ The Killers on IB

“Sir! I've just had a realisation! What if gay people are straight and straight people are gay?”

~ IB student on TOK

“I think therefore I am, but how do you I know that you think, therefore you are?”

~ Confused IB student on TOK

International Baccalaureate (a.k.a.Idiot's Baccalaureate, IB, @*#&@#^^$, International Bullshit or more simply, Hell) is a two-year programme of internationally recognised education for students aged 16 to 19. As an internationally recognised program, this is the definitive ticket to university around the world (Apart from countries that do not ~~give a crap~~ offer the program in states schools, e.g. China, Russia Furthermore, it requires you to dedicate your life and soul to the evil gods of the IB, also known as the IBO, who live in Geneva/Cardiff/Paris/London/God knows where and who delight in devising revisions to the syllabus that will make it impossible to pass. All IB classes come with a warning sticker attached. It generally reads: WARNING. IB class. Prepare to lick your teachers boots for a seven, share a bed with your laptop and calculator, worship your textbook and invest large amounts of money in bribes. There is a possibility that you will learn something, but this will be covered with so much bullshit that you will never remember any of it. Ever.).

1 The IB Mission Statement
2 The International Baccalaureate Programme is Good For YOU
3 Highlights of the International Baccalaureate Programme
4 IB Conspiracy Theories
5 IB's Core Requirements (C.A.S.)
6 TOK
7 The Extended Essay
8 IB's Six Core Curriculum
9 Extra Credit in the IB
10 You Know You're in I.B. When... (You Have a List This Long)
11 Links to Help Concentration and Prevent Procrastination

[edit] The IB Mission Statement

Prepare For Trouble!

Make it double!

To protect the world from devastation

To unite all peoples within our nation

To denounce the evils of truth and love

To extend our reach to the stars above

International....

Baccalaureate!

Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

Surrender now or prepare to fight fight fight !!!

Meowth, a 5's all you get, thats right!

[edit] The International Baccalaureate Programme is Good For YOU

You really ought to go into the IB Programme. It is good for you. It makes you smart. Ensure that you conform to the regulations. Memorization is critical. Repetition is necessary. The IB Programme will help you get into universities around the world. It is an excellent learning opportunity. It makes you smart. Just be sure to conform to the regulations. Memorization is mandatory. Repetition, necessary. The IB Programme will help you achieve what you want in life. It will give you the gold digger of your dreams. It will complete you as a person. However, it is important to conform to the regulations. Memorization is crucial. Repetition is a requirement.

[edit] Highlights of the International Baccalaureate Programme

The best part of this esteemed educational ~~institution~~ organization is that regurgitation is not only discouraged, but downright rude in an IB classroom! Instead, we require you to paraphrase. Just remember, IB requires you to conform to the regulations. Memorization is essential. Repetition is imperative.

To help break down the International Baccalaureate, and give you an adequate review of its educational value, we have constructed a table for those with a scrutinizing eye.

The International Baccalaureate in Review
Programme Offering	Creator	Bullshit Meter	Masochist Meter	Percentage Chance of Suicide Upon Completion	Overall Rating
CAS (Creative, Action, Service) Hours	Esteemed philanthropist Bill Clinton has this to say about his creation, "by requiring students to do community service hours we effectively ensure our excellent and stable economy is fueled by slavery. Plus, lazy students can once again pay themselves out of a shitty situation, and open themselves up to the delicious world of blackmail and extortion. It's a win-win for both me and Monica Lewinsky"	91.2%	23%	45%	a TWO out of SEVEN
Internal Assessment	Charlie Brown	23.3%	56%	55%	a TWO out of SEVEN.
Secondary Language Course (mandatory for both years)	Arnold Schwarzenegger, accredited with stating this when asked about the program by a terrified International Baccalaureate student, "Once you're in a trap, you're in a trap, bitches"	77.3%	95%	65%	a FOUR out of SEVEN.
Theory of Knowledge Course	Joseph "Big Poppa" Stalin	94.2%	43%	75%	a FIVE out of SEVEN.
Extended Essay	George W. Bush, the original mastermind behind "Bullshit", a historical epic about lies and deceit.	98.4%	88%	100%	a SEVEN, bitches.

[edit] IB Conspiracy Theories

In the past, it has been theorized that IB was first created by Gestapo as a brainwash technique to train super soldiers to attack the Allied Forces through Cuba.

Modern conspiracy theorists, however, are convinced that the concept of IB was created as a cage for individuals who may grow up to be elements of social instability.

IB Coordinator(right) attempting to lure new recruits(left) into the system

The system lures the said individuals with a little beam of light, and then traps them into the eternal darkness of TOK's paradoxical spirals. Later evidence suggested that IB was created to provided fleshly ammunition to Wikipedia in its war with Uncyclopedia.

However, the attempt proved to be unfruitful. Long oppressed by IBO's inhumane training, students merely turned to Uncyclopedia for an entertaining method of procrastination. Most of the said students became Unclyclopedians and fought against the latter's copy cat: Wikipedia.

It is also believed that IB was actually a part of the Genevan Peace Treaty. Winston Churchill felt that he need to punish the germans for trying to conquer the world and he made his best scientists develop this course which was made in such a way that after prolonged exposure one would commit suicide. Winston Churchill felt that in this way he could repay the germans for the wonderful Death Camps. Eventually as we can see through history, Hitler did take IB and had to commit suicide.

[edit] IB's Core Requirements (C.A.S.)

Aside from the zombie-state inducing hours of courseworks, it has also been decided that each student must complete a total of 150 hours of ~~slave labour~~ service. An example of this would be to help people who are nearly dead perform everyday routines, e.g. helping them to open jam jar because they are twisting the cap clockwise. This is the 'S' part of the C.A.S. abbreviation. Students generally apply TOK in CAS by arguing with themselves that by giving money to the poor they are actually helping them and thus deserve CAS hours.

As an all encompassing education program, IB students are expected to be ~~not morbidly obese, i.e. Americans~~ physically healthy members of society. They are expected to achieve this through 'actions', whatever that means. Though the meaning is vague, past student indicated that fingers and thumbs exercises through action-genre video-games are NOT included in this. This is the 'A' part of the C.A.S. abbreviation.

The last requirement of a successful member of society defined by the IB program is the total inability to do school work by yourself and finding ways to copy off others. However, if thou shouldst get caught, thou shalt be condemned to writing creative/corny quillets in the Shakespearean tongue. This is the 'C' of C.A.S.

These three core requirements to be instilled into the heart of all the the IB students if once they completed the program, and are also required to pray to the god of C.A.S. daily.

[edit] TOK

This ~~crock of shit~~ class is where a bloodthirsty ~~teacher~~ demon sucks the life out of its students by forcing their brains to asplode. It should be noted that most, if not all, ToK teachers actually play guitar, so it has been theorized that all of them are in fact the same person attempting to promote their fascist doctrine everywhere. It also requires you to write a 1600 word essay on a prescribed title given by the IBO, none of which actually make any sense. After writing complete and utter bullshit for about 2 hours, you finaly finish and go ~~masturbate~~ celebrate by doing some complex math equations. BUT If you don't get at least a D-, you automatically fail. This is probably the most pointless class in the IB curriculum, forcing you to "think about the way you think you think..." Honestly now, why does it matter? I know shit, period, end of story, get over it. I don't need to "justify my knowledge claims." Unless you want me to justify that i dont know shit. Well, fuck you, I DONT KNOW SHIT. And, if you were to say this in class, the teacher would throw some bullshit response at you, saying something like "But how do you KNOW that you don't know shit? What ways of knowing can you apply to your statement?" This ~~class~~ crock of shit is such a complete waste of time, watching the high school musical series 100 consecutive times would probably be more productve.

[edit] The Extended Essay

The extended essay is a 4000 word demonic piece of writing, requiring the students to bullshit about their chosen topic. If you don't do it, you automatically fail the IB diploma. If you don't get at least a D-, you automatically fail the diploma. And seeing as most examiners don't give a shit about your essay since they are paid by the number of essays read, all your work will actually go to waste. If you exceed the word count, the examiner will penalize you over 9000 points out of 36. If you are found to be copy-pasting from the Internet, or using sources without citing them, a special person appointed by the IBO will rape you while talking about academic misconduct. This special person, who will only be identified as Mr. Kamal, is a teacher at Ecole Mondiale World School and has been known to rape students: physically and mentally, for a number of years and has won the Nobel Peace Prize as a result of his effective methods of correcting academic misconduct. Along with Mr. Kamal, Mr. Gyanesh Tripathi a teacher at Vishwashanti Gurukul School finds sadistic pleasure in ensuring that the anuses of his students are personally ripped apart after his continual homo sexual and erratic peadophilia. IB EE guides are all peadophiles, necrophiles or some other weird philes theyre not really too bothered.

[edit] IB's Six Core Curriculum

As a ~~slave~~ member of the IB lifestyle, there are six core topics from which you must study:

Group 1: A1 Language

Group 2: Second Language

Group 3: Individuals and Society

Group 4: Experimental Sciences

Group 5: Mathematics and Computer Sciences

Group 6: Optional

All of these are condemned to Hell by God and all the victims of the cruel, cruel Hobbits

[edit] Extra Credit in the IB

The IB has recently assigned new extra-credit assignments. The following is a list of optional work, each worth an extra 1 (one) IB credit.

- Divide by zero

- Revive the dodo bird

- Lick your elbow

- Find a university that actually respects the IB

- Conquere the world, twice

- Do what Hitler could not do... live past age 57. Thought it was something else, something relating to a certain ethnicity? You racist bastard!

- Make your own underwater city or find Atlantis its up to you, choose ONE only. Or TWO.

- Build a time machine

- Use set time machine to go back in time and prove the creation of life.

- Solve the Middle East Issue*

- (For guys) touch a girls breasts

- (For girls) talk about sex other than in Biology

- Befriend a successful caucasian IB graduate... good luck with that.

Massive Group Hug Mandatory

[edit] You Know You're in I.B. When... (You Have a List This Long)

You feel the need to get COMPLETELY SHIT-FACED every weekend.
You works at least 18 hours a day and you actually start enjoying being a workaholic
Getting high is the perfect complementary entheogen to TOK
You just went and looked up Entheogen.
You TRIP OUT when your teacher asks you to a) read some Heart of Darkness aloud when you're high. b) asks you to be a main character in King Lear when you're high.
You start reading this list and don't stop.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You've filled a 7-11 big gulp cup with coffee and wished you could find a bigger cup.
You develop an irrational fear of the square root of three.
You giggle at that last one.
You pick at the grammar of everyone and everything. Chat-speak is not acceptable. Nor is the grammar of the person who wrote the "Reasons for Doing I.B." section.
You get excited about a new show on the history channel.
When speaking with a non-I.B. kid, you must define nearly every word you use.
You found that probability quiz in Mathematics class the other day to be SO MUCH FUN!
You realized there was a grammar mistake in the above sentence.
If you didn't realize, you went back and looked.
When you realized an error in the first place, you went back to make sure you had found it and ended up finding another.
You probably started taking Mathematics in your Sophomore year. This proves that everyone has in them a posibility of becoming IB students.
Every now and then when you open your mouth, queef comes out
When you think school is where all of the cool kids hang out.
You are a member of any (or all) of the following: Mu Alpha Theta (ok), Science Honours Society (nice), Book Club (safe so far), National Honours Society (DAMN!!!!!!!!!), etc.
You start taking desperate measures in an attempt to complete CAS such as: Chess Club or Creative Writing Club.
You have become immune to caffeine.
You are sleep deprived and therefore hallucinate periodically (which explains IB students' "dreamy eyes that stare into the future").
You realized there was a misspelled word above. (Not anymore, a fellow IB student who giggled at number 11 fixed the word "students" :P)
You become so good atcopying some text alt tabbing to a word document and pasting the text that you dont even notice when you do it.
As a result, no one wants to be your friend.
Well, that was a lie. That kid in regular classes wants to date you. You date them, then write a fifty page scientific report on that newly identified species of hominid. Then you realise that they were just really, really stupid.
Your idea of going out involves doing chairitable acts for your C.A.S. project.
You are now having a Grand Mal Seizure upon realising that I spelled "charitable" incorrectly.
You start meeting your class mates to do maths and physics in your free time.
Your idea of a good night out is the library and getting mashed is reading up about Alcohol in your IB Chemistry Course Companion.
You explain to each other how the world works by using your newly learnt physics. Such as the Force necessary to move a car is directly proportional to the acceleration the car would experience. You go on further explaining how a Force vs. Acceleration diagram would yield a straight line graph of equation y=mx+b where the gradient, m, would be equal to the mass of the car.
You completely understood that.
When you finish a test and feel like you have been violated.
When you play the Wikipedia game during lessons.
Relatives that have been dead for years come visit you and suggest that you get some sleep.
You can achieve a Runner's High by sitting up.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
The Sun is too loud.
Trees begin threatening you.
You think that this number is the answer to everything, AND I MEAN EVERYTHING.
While writing a TOK paper, you begin to actually understand the material.
You explore the possibility of setting up an IV drip of espresso.
You wonder if brewing is an essential step in the consumption of coffee.
Things become "Very Clear".
You begin speaking in a language that only you and Channelers can understand.
You believe that if you think hard enough, you can levitate.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You heart beats in 7/8 time.
David Lynch comes and says: "Hey, can I film you?"
You and Reality file for divorce.
It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
You have great revelations concerning Life, the Universe, and Everything else, but can't quite find the words for them before the white glow fades, leaving you more confused than before.
Antacid tablets and No-Doze become your sole source of nutrition.
You eat breakfast in your first or second period class daily.
You discover the aesthetic beauty of school supplies.
You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty row about it, lose, and refuse to talk to yourself for the rest of the day.
You yell: "STOP TOUCHING ME!!!" even though you're the only person in the room.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
Five words: "WHY ARE WE DOING THIS?!?!?!?!?"
You can spell "Baccalaureate".
"I.B., therefore I B.S."
"IB has an honor code?!?!"
"Friends" and "fellow IBers" are interchangeable.
You go to bed at 3AM and think, "Oh, it's an early night!"
Your favorite saying is "If I get a hundred on every test for the rest of the year..."
Social life? What's that? Can I download one of those?
LOL! "69" <--- You are definitely an IB student!
You've fooled yourself into believing that colleges actually care whether you're in IB or not.
You try to wake up fast enough to catch yourself sleeping - and succeed.
You talk to yourself in the 3rd person.
You write sentences on multiple choice tests.
It's okay to fail, so long as you are not alone.
You frequently catch yourself saying "What?? We had homework??"
You don't drink, but you find it a convenient way to explain how you dressed yourself in the morning.
You manage to complete a semester's worth of homework the day before the term ends.
You finish your extended essay shortly after midnight. Your smile of satisfaction fades when you remember to start on your #World Lit. paper.
You've sold your soul…to a teacher…for a C…for the 9 weeks…
You cloned yourself so you could sell your clones' souls to other teachers for Cs for the 9 weeks again (hey, there may be a profit to be made in this...)
Desperate to fill up your CAS hours, you claim watching a black and white movie as "creativity" and walking your dog as "activity", and your teacher approves it.
You have a special "test writing sweater" that you wore to all the IB exams.
Your idea of impure thoughts is whether or not to copy math homework, and/or it is whether or not to insufficiently cite a source you barely used for a research paper.
You can count your last quiz grade on one hand.
You wonder if there's Cliff's Notes on the Calculus book.
You don't really cheat - you just tell people the answers.
Cheating became too difficult, so you took up telepathy.
You have a tab running at Books-A-Million.
Bn.com, amazon.com, and Books-A-Million offered to give you a free shipment/order each so you took full advantage of it and are now banned from those stores/sites (it took 6 semis to deliver the orders!)
You've consulted tarot cards for hints on a History test.
You have the library on speed dial.
You've framed the Honor Code.
You've developed an imprint of your book bag in your back.
Your best hope for most classes is either divine intervention or a strategically placed lightning bolt.
Your books weigh more than you do.
Your thesis for the Extended Essay is whether or not Bert and Ernie are gay.
Your alternate thesis for the Extended Essay is why IB jokes/checklists are so prolific and the amount of fact contained within them.
You plead insanity on a research paper.
Your plea is accepted by your teacher.
You have a Cliff's Notes Preferred Customer Credit Card.
You exceed the limit on said credit card--on only Cliff's Notes!
You do your essays on the plane ride to school.
You can lead your way through a frog's intestines with your eyes closed.
You forgot about that pesky Extended Essay thing until the night before it was due.
You have to stop twice and get gas to make it all the way to school.
You've been out various times looking for the Abridged Cliff's Notes.
You consider giving up going to the bathroom permanently to give you more time to study.
Your backpack is only comfortable when it weighs >30 pounds.
You have convinced your parents the "1" you received on your IB Physics exam was really the "top 1% of all IB students worldwide".
You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time to gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
Your home becomes a "home away from home".
You think the meaning of life is: G = -RTlnK.
Your favorite equation is
Said equation comes up on a test.
You go insane from trying to work Pythagoras' constant and the golden rule into said equation.
You succeed in mathematically correctly adding above to said formula without changing number bases.
Pressed for time, you conclude a history essay with, "And they lived happily every after. Amen."
You get into a slugging match over priority for the library photocopier.
You copy old Theory of Knowledge essays so you can get an A in the Ethics unit.
You plagiarize from Cliff's Notes for the "What is Truth?" ToK paper.
It's essential to learn to live with occasional failures.
"What is the Bronsted Lowry Theory again?"
Can we say EXTRA CREDIT??
You actually worry about the 105% you have in math.
You find that you overreact when you get 2 points marked off on your homework.
You find that you spend more time sleeping in class than at home.
You think you're a normal kid until suddenly you realise kids at other high schools regularly go to sleep before midnight.
You get a job at Kinko's not for the paycheck, but because you're there 8 hours a day anyway!
You are 18 but can't drive.
You have 15 library cards each under a different alias.
Tests are no longer singular efforts!
The librarians know you so well that you don't even have to go to the front desk of the library to check the book out.
You've read most of the books in your library, and have a written report on over 3/4 of them!
You read all the books in the local public library, so you found a loophole that allowed you to check out books from the local university stacks.
Your list of excuses for not doing your homework is the length of Anna Karenina.
You have used nearly all of them. (But have just enough left to use as an Extended Essay.)
You exceed the 4200 word limit on the Extended Essay (by over 1000 words).
The simplest words you know are at least 10 letters long.
You ask what your summer reading assignment will be in October.
You come into school at 6:00am to do Biology and don't complain.
It takes more than one trip to carry the books you need between your car and your locker.
You carry around vocabulary flash cards to whip out in your free time.
You can list all 5 definitions on vocabulary tests.
The saying "When I graduate high school" has been replaced with "If I ever graduate."
When your school gives you a survey on your future plans,you ask your teacher "Will I graduate High School"
Your teacher has had to ask a student in your class to "Put His Pants Back on"
You edit this page
When you are home sick, you can't help but wonder what work you're missing and what your homework is.
When you're watching TV, you feel guilty because not all of your homework is done.
You find yourself spelling words out on scantrons. You are deeply saddened when you can only find one letter of "IB SUCKS!"
You went back and checked.
You show up 4 hours late to an IB test and still manage to get a "5".
During a Chemistry test, instead of doing the work, you write a random answer program in your TI-82 and get the highest score in the class.
You have an internet connection on your calculator.
You have a TI-200 on layaway.
Your idea of great art is simultaneously graphing the sine, cosine and tangent graphs on your calculator.
You have functioning electrical appliances in your locker.
You've memorized the cracks in the stucco on the wall behind your computer monitor.
You can type 70 words per minute -- on a TI-89.
You devise a "pager code" and page your classmates all night with obscene messages.
You use the internet for research and not smut.
You have an autographed picture of Bill Gates in your bedroom.
Your TI-89 can now link with satellites so you can watch The Learning Channel at lunch.
You have more CD-ROMS than music CDs.
Your favorite TV program is Wild Discoveries on The Discovery Channel.
You have your TI-89 hooked up to your friends' so that you can "chat" during class.
OMG You get excited when you find out that your Handy Dandy TI Calculator can graph a line of best fit on graph
You use your "chat" program to tell each other the answers during a test, and your teacher congratulates you for #your "innovative thinking".
The only reason Texas Instruments hired you was because your bill was so large.
You became a hardware beta tester for TI.
You consult the RandInt( function on your TI-86 for answers on multiple-choice tests (including IB and AP exams).
You find the algorithm to correctly answer multiple choice tests without looking at them.
You brag about how large your computer is.
You're shunned if you don't have a computer with at least 25 gigs.
You debate whether or not you can send a fax collect.
Your favorites on the pull down menu of your internet browser include: Barlett's Familiar Quotations, The Electric Library, #The Discovery Channel online, The History Channel online, and the National Geographic homepage.
You consider your computer your best friend.
You see no point to programming in anything other than machine code and possibly assembly.
You write and run programs in your head while sleeping between classes and practicing chess moves on the tile floor en route.
You often wake up suddenly from this and start screaming out streams of ones and zeroes, then explain it away as either an assembly crash or an i/o error, as applicable.
You discuss the impossibility of the aliens' computers being Macintosh compatible in Independence Day.
You wish you could interface with the computer-generated reality of the Matrix.
You envy the Borg.
The Borg envy you.
You've gotten electronic copies of text books in TI-89 format.
Your TI-89 has made you stupid.
You have made your TI-89 stupid.
Your multiple T3 lines were too slow for last minute searches for your term papers, so you got a couple of OC-20 lines
You've replaced your Flintstones vitamins with speed.
Your bed hasn't been slept in since Bush was president.
You actually believe "mental health days" are excused absences.
Brewing coffee takes too long, so you just eat the beans.
You slip prozac into your Powerade or Dr. Pepper.
You're afraid of sunlight since you haven't seen it in 3 years.
You get Advil at cost.
You get a full upper body workout putting your backpack on.
You skip breakfast so you can get to school early to get in some extra cramming time and gain that "upper edge" on the rest of the class.
Breakfast?! What's that?
The bags under your eyes are heavier than the ones carrying your textbooks.
You always seem to have one continuous headache.
You haven't seen light in so long you glow in the dark.
You find yourself thinking "Without stress my life would be empty."
You don't carry lunch money - You carry Vivarin, Powerade, and Dr. Pepper money.
Your contacts are so thick that you have trouble closing your eyes.
You have a permanent caffeine-and-sleep-deprivation high.
You actually BUY caffeinated water.
You can measure your daily caffeine consumption in gallons.
You can count the number of hours you sleep each week on one missing hand.
You've taught yourself how to take naps while walking to your next class.
When your teacher wakes you from sleep when nothing is going on in class, you are deprived of sleep.
You've used so much Vivarin, you learn to make it in Chemistry in order to save money.
You actually get used to waking up at 5:00 am.
You actually get used to waking up at 5 am, then decide to sleep some more anyway.
You hyperventilate every time you see a traditional student, praying that you'll never become like them.
You look forward to your in-school finals as a change of pace from your IB exams.
You actually put the apostrophe in front of the word "'cause."
The local media writes an article on your class and titles it "Brains R Us". (this really happened!)
You still get kicks saying "Your epidermis is showing."
When no one's looking, you exacerbate.
You think SEX is an acronym for a test you take after the SAT.
You think "getting high" is a reference to grades.
You think Saved By The Bell was a documentary.
The vampire rapist thought you were crazy.
Your idea of watching TV is the morning announcements.
You misread the Psychology exam and write an essay on "social sex".
You're one of the few people who realizes that Catcher in the Rye isn't about baseball.
You have taken in so much knowledge that you forget what the doorbell means.
You feel the need to literarily analyse the character development, mood/tone, plot development, dialogue, and other literary aspects of an episode of Family Guy.
You wrote an essay on it and got a 7 for it.
You think MTV is a formula for mass, temperature and volume.
You're one of the few to know that the "perverted American Dream" isn't a porno.
Watching Beavis and Butthead requires WAY too much brain power.
You clean up your room and find a bed.
You wonder about things like what would happen if your car traveled at the speed of light and your turned your lights on.
You have a bumper sticker that says "Proud to be a test tube baby."
"Burnout" isn't a strong enough word to describe you.
The word "ponder" sends you into spasms.
William Carlos Williams' poetry actually makes sense.
For those of you who took French A1, replace by G. Appollinaire
You gave up your search for a "nice university with a good curriculum" during your first week of 11th grade. You've now redefined your search to "a nice bell tower with a good mount for a sniper rifle". You stop going to volunteer work, but you unconsciously think you're still going.
Everything you know about sex, you learned from the English reading list.
You worry about hyphens.
The words: "Oh my God! There's a triad in this poem!"
You enjoy finding out the hard way why normal distribution should work.
It's the little things that confuse you.
You have the chemical formula and steps of synthesis for caffeine memorized.
You think that the game LIFE will really affect yours.
You still think Beavis and Butthead is a true-to-life TV show about "normal high school".
Alternatively, you realize Beavis and Butthead is actually Mike Judge's social commentary on the MTV generation's stupidity.
You find all the "glitches", "boo-boos", and other such small mistakes in movies.
You use your ToK background to analyze Winnie the Pooh's Book of Quotations.
When asked what significance Hitler had to Racial Social Darwinism, you say "Well, he didn't like Jews."
You look forward to hell week because you think hell would be an improvement on your current situation.
Free time?
You've mastered the art of procrastination so well that your research paper finishes printing just seconds before you have to leave for school.
You get to college and realize the classes you are taking seem really familiar.
Your college professors' grading systems seem a little too lenient.
You dread the word rubric.
Yourbrainissooverloadedthatyouforgetthesimplestthings.
You managed to write 4,000 words on the subject "Hitler was a nice guy, wasn't he?" (sarcasm not included)
You've managed to get through an entire year of History of the Americas without reading one page of your test book.
You're not certain if you want to get laid, layed, or laid to rest.
When you go to the library, you see a least three or four of your classmates.
To celebrate finishing your IB exams you decide to be really wild and go for coffee.
You hold "parties" to study.
You look forward to your parties.
Your fellow IBers look forward to your parties, attend them, and do actual studying there.
You have parties in your school's physics lab, and you consider yourselves the "cool people".
You envy the unabomber's social life.
Your pick-up lines include compliments on the quality of her (his) epidermis and the wonderful shape of her (his) occipital plate.
You have an element named after you.
Four words: "Wanna play some chess?"
You decline the invitation displayed above, saying that you would better spend your time doing homework.
Your peers know more about you than you do.
You really wear those IB T-shirts.
You forget your brother's name because you haven't seen him in three years.
Wait...what brother?
Your last mate was a "checkmate".
Every year you nominate yourself for Homecoming Royalty and wonder why you never win.
"Anybody wanna play some cards?"
You show school spirit at the pep assemblies.
You are usually dressed more formal than your teachers.
When on vacation, you visit other schools.
You have races with your friends to see who can say the entire periodic table of elements the fastest.
You'd go into severe spasms if you ever lost your IB herd.
"There's a MALL in this town?!?!"
You are periodically annoyed when people confuse "allusion" and "illusion", and sometimes correct your teacher.
You see your Extended Essay advisor more than you see your parents.
You'd feel bad about not having a social life if only you could remember what it was like to have one.
You think "social life" refers to life in Soviet Bloc nations during the Cold War.
You talk in your sleep -- in Italian.
The only words you ever say in Spanish class are "No sé."
You are convinced that your "Baccalaureate Internationale professeur de français" thinks you're sexy. (misspelling of professeur--> it's not proffeur~)
Your "Baccalaureate Internationale professeur de français" DOES think you're sexy. (misspelling of professeur--> it's not proffeur~)
The only French you know is "J'aime manger du poisson." (le changed to du for proper grammar~)(grammer changer to grammar for proper spelling~)
You find all five errors so far in this section, unless at least one has been revised by one of you sneaky bastards.
You resort to communicating with classmates through a series of clicks because languages take too long.
You notice that there is a language consisting of clicks.
You already know that it's called Xhosa.
You just looked up Xhosa.
You love the "Macarena" not because it's a neat-o dance, but because you actually understand what those Spanish guys are saying.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You no longer speak English -- You speak a combination of English, German, Spanish, French, Portugese, Swedish, Dutch, Chinese, Russian, Norwegian, Hebrew, Arabic, Japanese, Korean, and Polish.
Fellow IBers understand and use the same combined language.
You convert it to 36-bit words converted to hexadecimal numbers to communicate as it is faster.
You write a text-to-speech program that uses this hexadecimal linguistic conglomerate.
You modify your text-to-speech program so that it also works as speech-to-text, and is eerily accurate.
You go into your Spanish oral on the Cuban Revolution and, when asked for you sources, produce Cuban sandwiches and cry out, "Sources? Sources? We don't need no stinkin' sources!" (actually happened!).
You know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
You scoff at others’ lowly TI-83s while you caress your TI-92+ with pride.
You debate physics during lunch…and you usually win.
You know the chemical composition of the ugly brown stains on the ceiling tiles.
Your calculators and/or backpacks are an extension of your body.
You say, "I so accurately measured the momentum of my homework that it could be anywhere."
Your backpack has an imprint of your back in what little remains of the padding.
Your last backpack broke because it couldn't handle the weight and volume of your books and binders. Yes, binders.
The "padded" straps on your backpack are padded everywhere except where your collarbones go.
You've set an Apple II and your TI in a race to see which one could count to infinity the fastest.
You took out the cheesy infinity code and substituted a Pi-calculating code.
Your TI won.
Better yet, you won, because you can name Pi to several hundred digits more than they could.
No, you definitely won, because you caught an error in both of the final results.
The Apple II was wrong by a larger amount.
You added a second motorola 68000 chip to your TI-89/92+ and overclocked them both to 50 MHz, which required rewriting all of #the TIOS, but it was accomplished the entire task in 4 study breaks.
You add support for RPN and multiple VGA monitors during the modifications.
Then you run your modified TI-89/92+ up against a 486DX4-100 linux box and you still win, with your TI coming in a far second.
You feel guilty if you go more than a week without homework or some form of schooling.
After getting a "B" on your Chemistry test, you decide to take out your anger on some TWA plane.
You're sad, because you can only take four HL tests.
You hack the school’s network and duplicate your records so that you can take another three HLs, then merge the records together after you take your senior IB exams.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You're so frustrated with IB that you sent package bombs to random people's houses and framed some Ted guy. (hey! I’m a Ted!)
You carry a protractor in your back pocket. (naah…that’s what cargo pockets are for besides calculators…)
You use a Casio instead of a TI
Chuck Norris feels inferior to your knowledge.
The Borg beg you to permit them to assimilate you.
You permit them to assimilate you, but only if you become part of Unimatrix Zero and the collective does not interfere with Unimatrix Zero ever again.
You see 0110 1001 0110 1001 and get horny.
You actually think you have a shot at passing the physics HL exam.
Your Theory of Knowledge class has you seriously thinking if Hitler was justified in killing those 6 million Jews.
You make a date to do homework together and you actually do.
You derive formulas for fun. From first principles.
The offer of bonus marks for combed hair results in a dramatic improvement in your appearance.
You write your "What is Truth?" ToK paper entirely in Newspeak.
You post said paper on your web server, which crashes two minutes later from the Slashdot Effect, even though you built it to withstand multiple Slashdottings at once.
you start walking in geometric circles
you start analyzing random books, song lyrics, and street signs
a good night's sleep is 5 hours
you have made up complicated metaphors relating your love life to a card game and have fun doing it
16+2= ...wait let me get my graphing calculator!
the urge to shout "Sir, yes sir" overwhelms you and...you do it
the idea of "getting off on tangents" is hilariously funny
the word "switzerlish" makes more sense then "swiss"
the word "conspiricized" makes more sense that "conspired"... and then it takes you a couple of tries to get it right.
You correct your NIB friend when he says he's "factoring" his quadratic trinomial. Everyone knows the word is "factorising"!
you have the whole jargon file memorized, and cite it WAY too often
when you find mistakes in the yearbook you have to write the correction in every yearbook.
you labor under the impression that index cards are "handy dandy nifty difty"
you get high off of intellectualism (credit Sheryl Crow...)
you logically investigate the mystical powers of the phrase "wouldn't it be funny if..."
you find deep meaning in the words to "I Wanna Be Sedated "
you don't speak French, yet you compile a list of insults in French
You come up with Latin names for Pokemon, and classify the words under actual Latin noun declensions.
when reading "Les Mis." in French you spend the entire class period figuring out how to say "is that a loaf of bread in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?" en Français
you spell "am" wrong
You noticed that 21 and 109 are the same.
it takes you 3 days to get this joke: Q: You know what? A: No, introduce me.
you write stories and give them to other people to analyze for you because you don't understand them
you wear a pair of antennae (deedleyboppers) on your head and think you're a water molecule
That last sentence made you cringe, and you felt the urge to whip out a red pen until you realized those only work on papers and posters.
you get brownie points with your chemistry teacher for the above
you forget the meaning of the words "free time" yet remember the meaning of "mantic" (n. )
you have complicated dreams about graphing circles and ellipses
you start a Scrabble Club. wait...that's a bad thing?
Feudal War is the only card game worthy of IBers
You walk in the movement patterns of a knight to improve your chess strategy while you nap on your way to your next class.
you have theological discussions at parties
you have theoretical physics discussions at parties
the number on your screen name corresponds to the page number that character you use for your screen name has an appearance in the book you got it from
you understand above the first time you read it
whenever you're watching a movie you find all the motifs and themes...without trying
you start to laugh hysterically when you're writing a bibliography because a book has TWO authors
you find juxtaposition in places you shouldn't be looking for it
you spend all your time complaining about your work, then do it hurriedly because you want to get to bed and don't know where all the time went
you brag that you only got 2 hours of sleep last night
you have Amsco parties
you write a two page answer to a one sentence question
you look forward to arguing
you enjoy complaining and scaring underclassmen (yeah, and they gave us 500 pages of History, but I managed to do that even though my back is now permanently damaged by the weight of my backpack, and the track bugs almost got me so I was exhausted from running... etc.)
you weren't kidding.
you have no idea who the drug dealers are, or which students are probably concealing weapons
you consider sweet tarts, chocolate, and caffeine drugs (so actually, you DO know who the drug dealers are, in a way...)
you love telling your boyfriend/girlfriend the story your math teacher told you
you give out fliers announcing that you're going to the movies
movies??? What are they???
when writing down decimals, you don't understand why you can't write them to the 14th decimal place
you feel sorry for the chemicals in chemistry class
your math teacher is telling you a story and you say "that could never happen, the light bulb would burn out" and it MAKES SENSE
this number means something: 42
your brain is such a pile of mush that you carry around a teddy bear so you don't start shaking in the middle of class
you are already planning where your lockers will be next year
at least 4 of your classes (history, english, ToK, psychology) are talking about almost the same thing, or at least you think they are ...it could be an illusion...maybe you're not in class at all...
7 classes means seven classes
the longest you can go without caffeine is less than 6 hours...okay, okay, less than 2 hours.. an NIB, known as Issy, can also do this
you faithfully copy words without vowels in them, yet somehow understand them
you still don't have a schedule after a week of school
your teachers taunt each other and/or hit themselves on the head with markers or water bottles
it's TWICE as amusing to have TWO of SOMETHING than one of it
it's THREE times as amusing to have THREE of SOMETHING (julie...!)
the wall really IS there! (Mr. Baron PROVED it...CLUNK!)
rolling down hills is an appropriate math project
you start overanalyzing the rainbows on people's clothing
you write a newsletter half in Latin
your Physics teacher knows how to say "outstanding" in over 30 languages, yet chooses"cool beans!"
you can actually apply physics to everyday life.
you need a graphing calculator to bake
you're disappointed when you only get 100% on a test
you're smarter than all your teachers...no, that just means you're in public school
you relax vicariously through your non-IB friends (what non-IB friends???)
you forget to breathe
you realize the IB drop outs are smarter than you are (they are???)
you utilize semi-advanced computer technology to make stupid web pages like this one!
writing poetry is your idea of a good time
you feel guilty after cheating in a test
it takes too long so you write a program to generate intelligible haikus and win a programming challenge on dotcomma
you have a better love life on the computer than in real life (no,that just means you're more (technologically) intelligent than most people)
this number means something to you...something you haven't followed up on yet: 69
you write parodies of Faulkner's work for fun
you attempt to do your extended essay on Dr. Seuss
you translate a Dr. Seuss book, such as Green Eggs and Ham, into Latin, just for the hell of it
your idea of a 3am party game is analyzing the socio-political commentary in Dr. Seuss
you complain about studying for your foreign language exam...in multiple foreign languages
you have a thought, and it hurts.
you have a hurt, and it thinks.
your main addiction is to sleep...and you're always experiencing withdrawal.
you get angry at someone for being late so you can't copy their homework.
you get angry at your lab partner for forcing you to stay up late, waiting for his/her e-mail so you can finish Group 4
your backpack is heavier than you are.
you realize that something is missing when your backpack feels too light.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
you complain that you can't store notes on your graphing calculator for the IB English exam.
you get a smug satisfaction out of f-f-f-finally remembering the word "fovea" (or f-f-f-forgetting "Fundamental Laws")
you use logic to justify the color of your nail polish.
you can't enjoy a heart-warming cartoon because the French grammar is wrong.
the most peer pressure you have recently experienced is someone trying to get you to eat potato chips.
You overanalyze They Might Be Giants songs
Your favorite song is Barenaked Ladies’ "Who Needs Sleep" (or is it your anthem?)
Your project is still due in a few hours
Your english essay was quickly done on the back of a cereal box during breakfast because you had no paper on the way to school to write on.
You had no time to finish your TOK paper during math class because the biology homework due yesterday took up all your time in English.
The numbers '24' up to and including '45' will never be the same again.
You know the difference between motive and motif
You DON'T want to miss class
You have a massive nervous breakdown, post seizure effects, and minor head trauma and you weren't even in school that day, nor did you skip.
You also think that you are completely okay after enduring said medical problems.
If you fall 2 weeks behind in the autumn, you'll be doing make-up work until the very end of the year
You think getting a D means you passed.
Your locker is jammed and your backpack, when laid down, is half as tall as you, and there still isn't enough room!
You are more than used when your NIB friends make fun of you
your idea of a "girls' night out" is when you get together to review the Cold War
You're actually jealous when NIB tell you they went to a concert, a party or a bar
when you go out partying (IF you go) you can't stop thinking in all the biology lesson you have to memorize for your mock test
at said social event, you choose to write an extra-credit biology paper on the psychological effects of the drugs on your friends
you feel part of something when you read you're not the only stupid doing IB
you get continuous nervous breakdowns
you wanted to have more than 15 minutes for your english oral
you're already in bed (at 4am when you wake up at 6am) and you realise you left your computer on. You get out of bed to turn it off and to make sure you'll have a complete battery for the next day
you can type 100 words per minute in a coma
you don't even have to look at the letters while writing in your computer
you enjoy your extra anthropology classes
you really think someone cares whether alutiiqs or skolt lapps suffered a major culture change
you see your teachers more often than your parents
you like to suffer, or shall I say, you love "challenges"
you fool yourself saying the "habits" IB taught you will accompany you in college
you get high with an enormous quantity of coffee
you know the difference between suppression, oppression and repression
you actually look at this and memorize every word
you think "NBA" is some sort of formula you have never seen before, so you actually find what N, B, and A equals
you are reading this
You get a B in a class and consider yourself a failure
You believe death IS freedom
you can figure out what frscrndsvnyrsg actually says and means (Yes it is a phrase with now vowels and it does mean something)
You have thought about making a Tshirt that says:" You Know You're In IB WHEN..." and on the back there would be things from this list
you made a list of your own to put on the back of the Tshirt but then you lost it in a fight with your homework
you this read have and compelled this to fix felt
you actually read this whole list
You actually read this whole page.
you look at poo and tried to falsify it by eating it
You talk dirty to your girl/boyfriend using lab terms in the passive voice.
The sale of some of your art supplies is actually forbidden to minors
You relate freedom with answering a question of Maths HL
You find it disturbing to have free time, later realising you still have work to do.
You have seven windows of EE related research at the bottom of the page begging for attention, but instead you are reading this list for the sole reason that things just don't feel right if you dont wait until the last possible moment to complete them.
You can't ride your bike with no handlebars.
You don't get the above...
You can take apart the remote control AND put it back together.
You didnt get that one either...
yet, the double negative in the sentence two lines above this one bothers the fark out of you.
You enjoy fark.com.
You prefer to make programs in binary, because you dislike the "limitations" of high-level computer languages.
You laugh at someone trying to divide by zero.
You write the 500th item in this list
You concur.
"Oh Canada" gets stuck in your head
You begin to talk like an 18th century englishman
You dream of Elizabeth Bennet and wake up with a wet spot on your bed near your pelvis
You start editing Uncyclopedia
Y hv n prblm rdng Nglsh txt wtht ny vwls
You actually know what the IM slang 'jfgi' means
If not, you just looked it up, ironically using the same method that the phrase encourages
You see the irony in that
You see Detriot Edison's slogan 'E=DTE' and realize that D and T must be reciprocals of each other
you think. Therefore you are.
You avidly play the game (and just lost)
You care that you just lost
You hunt down the jerk responsible for #497 (and write the next thing on this list, DO IT NOW!)
You edit this because you said: "WHERE'S NUMBER 500?!"
You prefer to use windows instead of doors.
You lose the ability to spell any word before or when writing the conclusion of any project
When someone says "truth" you think of TOK.
You prefer do homework on the school that at your place.
You compare colors to bitmap resolutions.
You were thinking of a perfect sentence to write in that list while you were reading it.
Murder is the new black.
You STILL don't know what a knowledge issue is.
You wish you'd started this list.
You're unable to reminisce upon the last occurrence of the infrequent phenomenon of bodily repose.
You commonly use the vocabulary in 510.
You are constantly jealous of people taking other subjects because you hate all your subjects
You actually think that IB is greater than VCE.
You archived this section on three flash drives so you could restore it after some idiot deleted the article.
You completely forgot that you have to hand your TOK essay in tommorrow because you just spent an hour reading this list. (thanks alot)
Your quite proud that you share your birthday with the IB.
You dont have the time or energy to drop out or kill yourself.
You think you choose the hardest TOK essay question.
You know the meaning of life (see above for details)
When playing pool you think about the kinetics of the pool balls and discuss them with your playing partner, who hasn’t got a clue what you are on about!
youre girlfriend uses words in a text message only the 1950's Oxford dictionary acknowledges.
You're at the carnival and while waiting in line you try to calculate the rate of acceleration of the rollercosters.
You have 2 labs due that are worth 50% of your IB science Portfolio and you're adding to this stupid list
You contract an illness which overwrites any other illness so you are well enough to learn more, until the week before your exams then you immediately become ill for the whole period of your final exams
You read this whole list, then sent it to all of your IB friends, who all told you that they had too much homework to read it. They then spent the next hour remarking to you periodically about how all of these were true, and which ones were the funniest. Then you added some of your own
your desk, computer, higher level physics book, library. refrigerator and bed MUST be in hands reach.
You actually get more work done on the way to school than the whole 2 nights before
You will read this list again.
You've finished reading this.
When asked why you're in IB, you have no clue why.
When I say "10011010 10010101 00101101?" and you reply "01011000 11010010 00101001."~
When you (and all your classmates) jack off to the number 7.~
If you read all of these, added your own, laughed at it, realized how pathetic it was, changed it, laughed again and added some ToK to it so it is logically sound (if that's possible.)
If you read this page and become entertained.
When you read this page, you think of how utterly depressing your life really is, then don't care because it just gave you a new idea for your TOK essay
You are scared to death to even be one nanosecond late for anyclass. Therefore, you have plotted the fastest course between classes.
you use the words therefore and thus when speaking.
When you have school-assigned reading material stashed in the bathroom so that you won't waste any time.
You have to do the practice problems shown here, but for real-http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Intelligent_Math
You reminisce about the days when you only had assignments due every second day.
You read your textbook cover to cover and realise you could probably add to it.
Are planning to come into school totally pissed on the last day, only to realise that you haven't been pissed for so long that you are physically incapable of doing so.
When playing with your graphing calculator replaces masturbation.
Your parents boast that their son/daughter is in IB but have no idea what it's about.
You know the codes to hack your TI calculator but you can't memorize your own phone number.
Every time you go to open you front door, you calculate how long it takes for all the tumblers to fall and then calculate how long it takes you to realize that you are talking to yourself with a key in your hand outside your front door.
You are constantly thinking, what if i failllllll!
You think IB is better then IBT
You realize that the content of the Macarena song is NOT for children to learn from.
You fantasize about Oscar Wilde's Mom.
You spend most of your afternoon drowned in research for ToK, attempting to finish that Biology lab, and laying in your pool of drool only to realize it is 2 A.M. and you have ToK first thing in the morning.
You completely forget that ToK is a class, it is instead the way of LIFE!
Your TOK teacher doesn't show up half of the time, and shows up twenty minutes late when she shows up at all.
Theres an IB exam countdown on your friend's facebook page.
You are too tired to sleep.
You agree that there is no point in having privacy.
You speak Shakespearan fluently.
You read the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've read it before.
You finally noticed.
You went back and counted how many times you've seen it.
You think 4/20 must mean 1/5.
You invented a time machine only so you could either skip IB to see what a waste it was, travel back in time learn about WWI as it was happening, makeout with Kaiser Wilhelm II (man, he's hawwt!!), or to travel back in time to study more.
Your homepages include ibpapers.info ...
You don't count down for New Year's but for your Final Exams!
You speak langauges that you don't know in your sleep, say Swedish, Japanese, Russian, Swahili...
You work on your Extended Essay on your birthday... and you enjoy it!
You are amused by the subtle jokes made by Flaubert in "Madame Bovary"
You can write a 100-paged economics SAQ in 20 minutes (and that is only one short-answer question!!)
You realize that democracy is a conspiracy
You write a ToK paper on how democracy is a conspiracy
You realize that the IBO is a conspiracy...
You can sympathize to Hitler's feelings in Mein Kampf and the Second Book
You can see atoms zooming across the air during Chemistry class
You think it's normal to have a female chemistry teacher with a mustache
The question "Will you share a fetal pig with me?" is an actual question.
The answer is "Yes" to above.
You snort pepper at the back of the school library as a dare for $10 to pay for the IB fees as well as to feed your family for another night and post it on www.youtube.com/watch?v=3-x-8eRD-Ek
You want to kill all fucking grade 10's
You are a vegetarian and you ask the refectory lady whether asparagus is a meat or a veg
You read the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've read it before.
CAS doesn't mean Children's Aid Society.
You have spent more time on Uncyclopedia than studying for your IB exams... which starts next week
You're in the IB!!!! PHO SHIZZLE!!!!!
You climb the school's basketball fence to get locked into the courts, just so you can't get out
You high five and fist bump for no particular reason
you are involved in too many inside jokes
If X is the level of stress then your stress level follows a distribution of X ~ Norm(9001,1)
You understood what a normal distribution is.
You have a level 80 Death Knight and/or Mage with dual spec.
You have panic attacks when your TI-83 says "Low Battery"
The Areas of Interaction poster is the only art you own.
Sports?
You know how to transfer games from TI-83's.
You just Google'd how to do so.
You actually use your planner.
You were offended by the slander of Gandalf's good name at the start of the page.
You actually read the terms of service when you install programs.
You know M.A.D does not mean Mothers Against Drinking.
You've memorized the key combo to clear your calculators RAM.
You actually know that RAM isn't a truck.
You own a party cap on Runescape.
You know both Mythbuster's last names.
You heard about swine flu and prayed someone from your school caught it about a week before your exams.
Reading this list was the funnest thing you have done in History of the America's all year.
You can write an entire paper on the difference between analysis and conclusion.
You have actually done this.
The average amount of time it takes for the people in your math class to complete one problem is over ten minutes, not because the problem is to difficult for them, but because it is so %@*@$%^ long!
You never realize there are actually regular (non-IB) kids in your school
You always find yourself being stupid for choosing IB, as IB is not guarantee for university admission.
After hearing stories of other schools regular top kids get into some universities that you did not get accept using IB score, you are like what the hell.
In Mr. Peters Math HL class, you can always learn about decent swear words, like 'Up your ass-ymptote', 'Shut the function up', and 'shat attack' ( = diarrhea)
You just finished 1 or 2 weeks of exams, and you are 'chilling' right now read all these stuff.
After you found this website from the facebook group, and read through the above, you found this is fcuking amazing. And become addicted to it, and want to read more IB cool quotes.
You play multi-lingual telephone.(One pesrson says a phrase in one language, the next person translates it inot another language, ect. until the last person says it in thier native tongue.)
You added this many fucking quotes to this damn "you know you're in IB" thing. And realize that you have no fucking life (Or, Do you have no fucking life?)!!!!!!!!
You use nerdy pickup lines to help you pass tests. (I wish I was helicase so I could unzip your genes. If Thomas Jefferson had met you, he would have vetoed the Non-intercourse act.)
You feel guilty about going to prom because you have an exam the next Monday...
You take night classes at the local college, and love going to it because it's a nice, easy escape from your IB classes...
You hit on people using lines from Shakespearean tragedies (Let's go make the beast with two backs!)
You decide that if for whatever reason you're running late to your IB exams that you'll crash into the nearest tree or oncoming car just to have the chance of getting a makeup test.
You make up jokes and teachers tell you they sound nerdy.
You hate entropy because it's too random.
You find the above joke funny.
You have clocked Dino Puzzle, Block Dude, Puzzle Frenzy and Pegs on a TI-83+.
You Have Read This Damn Thing and YOU STILL CHOSE TO GET INTO THE DAMN "IB" PROGRAM
...And you thought Scientology was ridiculous.
You finished reading this list in less than 5 min
You drew an organic molecule with a smiley face in it as a last effort to that crazy geometry question in the Math HL exam.
You giggled through the last fifteen minutes of said Math HL exam because at least 5% of your answers to that exam were composed of carbon.
Reading this, you exclaimed "Pff, more like 100% if you're writing in pencil!"
You have just remembered that you have 3 unfinished essays due tomorrow but you will only start on them when it's midnight
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
You actually like Emily Dickinson.
Your friends' IB parties consist of roasting marshmallows and listening to Taylor Swift (Yes, I'm talking about you, Cindy.)
You take HL French because "It sounds like fun."
You have invented your own French Verbs.
You look up what Ab Initio means.
You use the made-up verb "to Ab Initiate" so much that your French teacher actually uses it.
You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing you've said it before.
If you read this shit you're prepared for IB
You count down the days until you get your scores.
Sometimes you forget to blink then realize it is because you have developed that habit to save time during tests.
You repeat Physics HL definitions by heart when in the gym- a failed attempt to copy soldiers marching songs.
After the first year you learn your previous study methods can not be applied to IB.
Your teacher tells you that in order to get a 7 the subject must be your favorite one and you strongly agree.
You got your teachers private hotmail and their phone number on speed dial.
A tragedy at home is not an excuse to hand in the lab report one day too late.
Someone tells you that he/she does not care how you know you know.