Intelligent rotation

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“I believe in Intelligent rotation. Okay, I said it. Can I get paid now?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Intelligent rotation

A photograph showing the rotation of the sun and several planets around the Earth. Not just to scale, but also actual size.

The Theory of Intelligent Rotation is the theory which explains why the sun and other planets revolve around the Earth.

[edit] History

Many thousands of years ago when dinosaurs roamed the Earth, man started to wonder about the origin of the universe. One of these early scientists was a caveman named Galileo. He was the first to create the theory that the Earth stood still and that God moved all the other planets around by blowing at them.

After centuries of refinement, the idea became widely accepted, enough so that it became the truth.

[edit] Controversy

Millions of years later, modern scientists came to prefer the absurd theory that the Earth rotates around the Sun. Though this theory is funny to think about, it has obvious flaws. The Catholic Church officially rejects it because it is against their interpretations of the Bible.

The Theory of Intelligent Rotation explains some phenomena that other theories don't. For example:

• When I jump while the Earth is moving underneath me, why do I land in the same spot?
• If it can be taken out of context and misquoted from the bible, it must be true^TM.

[edit] Notable Court Battles

• December 12, 1948: The 5th Circuit Hearing Court of Geewillikers, Kansas ruled controvertially that the Theory of Solarcentricity could no longer be taught in astronomy classes.