Intelligent Design for Dummies

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Intelligetn Design Cover

This title holds the key to understanding all others in the series.

The thing about Intelligent Design is that most people think that using intelligence is hard, and design is hard. Therefore intelligent design must be incredibly difficult. Most people would have you believe that someone sat around going, "Duh, this is hard, what do I do next?"

edit About this book

This book explains that the whole process is actually easy. The author is Dan Dog (no relation to Snoop Dogg) and wrote this book in the year five days B.C. The entire book contains an enormous amount of information organized very efficiently and Mr. Dog (Dog for short) claims he wrote it in just seven days while resting at times.

The main idea is all about genetic manipulation. If someone is hanging around elementary schools, and likes children a bit too much, then this gene can be found before birth, and modified so that every time this person is near a school, they will get a crick in their neck. This would change what parents say from, "Johny, don't talk to strangers", to "Johny, don't talk to strangers with cricks in their necks".

This would be a great benefit to society, and so it is hard to imagine that it hasn't been done before.

edit Before Intelligent Design

Before there was Intelligent Design, there was Intelligent Innovation. This happened slightly before the big bang. Intelligent Innovation is almost impossible to master, so it is covered in another book. It is a very short book since it doesn't take much time.

edit Variation

If intelligent design had been done before, there would have been much more variety. For instance, everything can be broken into plant, animal or mineral. Any child can tell you this. Why isn't there more? This book can help you to do truly intelligent design. Another example is that many animals see out the front. Why is it so biased this way? Why aren't three legs as effective as two? There are so many questions that it really is easy to build designs that are not so similar to the others. Even Dr. Seuss knew that and I am not sure he was even a doctor.

edit Physics

Physics is usually pretty simple. Sometimes things fall down, and sometimes they crash into each other. Other things just sit there like socialists, although everything moves towards entropy which simply means that everything will turn to mud. Chapter three shows an experiment of mixing dirt and water, although this is getting close to advanced chemistry here. Now try adding a pinch of salt, and the result is even more mud. This is where the saying, "dust to dust, ashes to ashes" came from.

edit Chemistry

Chemistry was fully understood by every human in the 1800's, and therefore there is not even a chapter on chemistry.

edit DNA Manipulation

It must be remembered that all of life comes from a remarkably simple mechanism called DNA, and that all species are created from merely rearranging four letters. We can see how this works here.

CATS
SCAT

Notice that this either produces an animal (who in this case is likely to inquire as to your health after setting you up the bomb), or an animal's byproduct.

Most geneticists claim that people came from fish. This is obviously not true, because nobody would change a design in this manner, but this book even shows how to accomplish this in chapter five. It does require finding a human with a brain the size of a fish, but if you are reading this article you might not have to look too far.

edit Related Articles

Personal tools
projects