Insulin Shock

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Revision as of 04:37, September 18, 2011 by MadMax (talk | contribs)

(diff) ← Older revision | Latest revision (diff) | Newer revision → (diff)
Jump to: navigation, search
Insulin shock
Insulin Shock
From June 21, 2003 to
Hometown New York City, NY
Genre(s) Pop Rock
Members Mathew Poole, David Shookz, Dave Smithun, Marty Pallor, Barry McFerrel, Sarah Parks (former)
Notable Album(s) Type One Fun, Diabetic Shock, Insulin Shock
Awards Kid's Choice Awards (2010)
Record Label Capitol Records

Insulin Shock is a highly popular yet controversial teen rock band that has been the center of both praise and scorn in its tumultuous past. Started in June of 2003 as a Blues quartet by Mathew Poole (who was 15 years old at the time), the boy band became widely known after their first album, Type One Fun, was released in June of 2004. Ever since then, the band has grown exponentially in popularity and in controversy. Though the band has a large and devoted following, it also has its fair share of detractors, who dislike the band due to its so-called "insulting" lyrics about diabetics and the alleged "bland" and "vanilla" quality of their songs. Whether you love or hate Insulin Shock, it has had an undeniably strong effect on contemporary music culture.

The band was recently in the center of a drug scandal, when a private video was accidentally released to the public. The scandalous video showed Poole taking various recreational drugs with his fellow band mates, and then defecating in a sink. Mathew Poole and his band mates had to go to Sunny Oaks Rehabilitation Center for three weeks as punishment.

edit Beginnings And Formation

edit The High School Years

The band Insulin Shock (originally named Secksay Beasts) was started as a Blues quartet to get "some fine ass", as Mathew Poole said. Poole had little to no knowledge on what Blues actually was, so he awkwardly sang Down by the Riverside for most of his performances. After discovering that most "fine ass" women don't listen to Blues, he changed genres and renamed the band Insulin Shock. For three months, they performed for anyplace they could find; they would stand on street corners for hours on end with signs that said "will play to perform" until someone accepted their offer. Sarah Parks (the only girl in the band) would often have to perform acts of fellatio to unhappy clients in exchange for money for their performances. Fortunately, their breakthrough came when they won their High School's Battle of the Bands contest by a landslide, where they were quickly discovered by a scouting agent. They were on the road to success.

edit The Road to Success

After being "discovered" by a scouting agent (in truth, Sarah had to perform yet another act of fellatio to coax the agent), their popularity began to rise as they performed for more professional venues. The young high school starlets were thrown into the spotlight at light speed. Fortunately, Sarah Parks was found in a bathroom with a bullet through her head and a gun in her hand, which meant that there was a new opening in the band. In response to Sarah's suicide, Mathew Poole said, "Uh, were really sad and all about Sarah's unfortunate death, and its like, uh, sad." Poole couldn't elaborate further.

edit Type One Fun (2004)

In June of 2004, the band released their debut album Type One Fun. It was filled with such memorable hits like "I Think I Need More Insulin", "Pump It Faster", and "Dirty Needles in the Midst". Little did they know that this album was the "big hit" that would turn them into singing superstars. Quickly, the album sold out and became Platinum within ten days of its release. Insulin Shock's success sent ripples through the music industry; their success baffled many music industry experts. They attained many fans from all parts of the world: even in Brazil and India, their influence spread. The world was caught up in an Insulin Shock maelstrom as sales of the album and accompanying merchandise reached tens of millions of US dollars. Unfortunately, their was a stumbling block to their success.

edit The Evil ADA Attacks!

The American Diabetes Association became upset about the band over what they thought was "disrespect to diabetics" and the so-called "insulting nature of their songs". Angry that people were enjoying listening to Insulin Shock, they sent an angry letter to the band, asking them to "stop making fun of people with diabetes". The ADA, in their letter, quoted an excerpt of lyrics from one of the band's songs: "Ooh baby, want to feel my disease, 'cause you got to inject, inject as you please". The ADA, in their letter, continued to quote lyrics from the band's songs out of context. Insulin Shock sent the ADA a well worded reply back.

"we didn't mean to insult diabetics, in fact my uncle has diabetes, and hes sad all the time. if i insulted you, im sorry"

The American Diabetes Association was unhappy even with the well thought out and reasonable response by Insulin Shock, so they continued to constantly harass the band with letters and fliers. Eventually, the ADA resorted to below-the-belt tactics to make their sinister ends meet. The ADA even staged a huge protest against Insulin Shock, with over 20 people attending the rally. The rally managed to cause much distress, as they were blocking the line to a concert. Eventually, the American Diabetes Association quit harassing the band after their attempts failed.

edit Obligatory Drug Scandal

A private video of Mathew Poole and the other band members using recreational drugs was accidentally leaked to the public through user generated video content site YouTube. Poole accidentally uploaded the video to YouTube in a drunken stupor at 4:00am in the morning. Like a wildfire left unattended, the video (titled "me and mah best buds smokin") spread through the internet at lightning pace. It quickly made the headlines of several celebrity tabloids and respectable newspaper publications. The band was criticized for being bad role models to children; the drug incident was especially bad due to the band's popularity with pre-teens and teenagers. Obviously, children are stupid automatons that follow anything and everything their idols do. Mathew Poole and the rest of the band had to go to Sunny Oaks Rehabilitation Center for three weeks as punishment for there grievous crime.

Personal tools
projects