Institution of Hell
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“That sk00l da shit, dawg.”
“When did I say that?”
The Institution of Hell was founded by Satan 45 minutes ago. Created with the help of ponies, Satan achieved what he had dreamed since he was a little larva: A complex/school/university/laboratory/bathroom hall made for all those creatures and demons made over 90% of pure evil- so they could learn how to make this planet a worse place. Satan had built it in a rush of anger when poor little Bob had kicked his ass. On the back of the Hall of fame, situated at the north wing of the institution, a portrait made by Picasso can be seen where the ass was portraited at moment of impact.
Satan began the funding of this school when he was nearing his cocoon stage, because he decided that kids needed someone to teach them the diference between lobsters and scottish people.
edit Current Status
Currently, The Institution of Hell is controlled by two people. Satan, who is the Main Manager and the German, (including Hitler) control the other half. Hitler keeps thinking that he keeps an important role in taking care of the Institution of Hell and helps keep running it, but the sad truth is that he doesn't do anything at all. Each day in the morning, the slave ballerina robots come and pay Hell Taxes, which were designed to keep running the institution.
edit The Institution's different areas and rooms
The Institution of hell is made of 200,0,000l,0,000 rooms, and not all of them have been finished building.
edit The Hall
The Main Hall, the only entrance has 2 trillion dollars worth in dead bodies, used to build the polished floors, the stairs, roof and the portraits of Satan himself are made of dead furbies, macaroni and molten skulls. In 1942, Madam I'm Adam, professional judge of houses and others declared this the most original way of building a hall entrance, and gave Satan a gold trophee, but 2 nanoseconds later Satan ate it and Adam as well.
edit Classrooms and Studen'ts hostages
In order to be able to teach more than 2,000 demons daily, the institute has 1,000 rooms, and 23 different classrooms. These classrooms on average are big and spongy, perfect for eyes and moose alike. Different teaching programs, all kept on the east wing of the instutite are:
- Slaughtering Classes
- The Art of Horror
- Obey Satan Correctional Sumer Camp
- Math Classes
- Evil Teachings for Youngsters
- Death Metal Music Class (the teachers are none other than the members of Slayer)
WTF, Slayer isn't death metal
- What's good and bad Classes
edit Recreation and Torture
Recently, Satan had to build several outdoor places in response of intense demand. The horrendous recreational zones he built on his sleep was:
- Boiling Sulphur Fields- Every weekend the Demon Scout Club camps here. On average, only one third of them comes back alive.
- Videogame Dungeon- For all those nerds!
- The Park Of Demise
- Black Hole Paradise- Suck you!
- Mountains of Drugs
- The Beautiful Field of Flowers
edit The Bathroom Hall
This is the biggest collection of toilets and bathroom stuff. It is so big that all the top football and basketball teams of every country could go and have a shower (and a dump) there, and possibly fight eachother, and end sport as we know it (see Elmerso Frepp's sport, bathroomfights). It is know that deep inside the mother toilet, lives Jaga the giant worm, who feds on people's thoughts. Now days, it is widely acepted that the one who licks Jaga in the eye will be granted Super Grandma Powers to fight off pigs and clowns.
edit Catchy Facts About The Institution Of Hell
- On the 1,234th room of the Institution, little Devil Mush Ma Mappo has a portrain on his wall in which Satan gets kicked in his left bum-cheek. It is thought Picasso painted this. No-one is shure because picasso paintings are mostly incomprehensible paint blotches.
- Santa came and destroyed everything thinking that ponies here opposed his evil plan to dominate the world.
- Shortly after that, everything magically appeared again, but the walls were somehow covered in pink slime. Satan blames this to pure evil.
- 45 minutes and two seconds ago, where it is, there was a lump of cheese.
- Your grandma lived there for the last 77 years.
- The institution of Hell, located in hell, produces 45 tonnes of earwax every year, and it's available at wikipedia.
- In 1773, world famous rapper John Lennon was quoted saying " If my face were as complex as this school all nuns will start licking badgers".