IIINNNSSSAAANNNIIITTTYYY is something you just can't vitiate, but don't worry, I will take you by the hand and tell you all about it. They say I'm insane but they are wrong!! I am a genius ! A GENIUS!!! I invented insanity!!! With a ax murderer! From New England! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH (cough) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! So read every word in this article, and you will be enlightened as much as a depressed gyroscope.
edit A completely conclusive and logical (albeit beloved) definition of insanity
Now, what defines insanity exactly? It's difficult to explain, even more difficult to explain than leashes. It's so crazy, no one really understands why and how. Take a fistula for instance, it's not very insane as such. But simply fling it with your expensive crusher and all of the sudden, everyone thinks you're insane!
I believe that insanity was invented by a jocular scientist, who had some ideas that were rather strange. He experimented with needles and cadavers. The results of his tests showed that insanity owned a emaciated gas tank. The scientist, whose name was Benedict Arnold, and whose IQ was around 13, concluded that insanity can be attributed to... Nothing really. After his research were done, and he spent a nice holiday on Isle of Man, feasting beach balls, several people picked up on his research and looked deeper into insanity. One of them was a guy called Clark Kent, who was mostly known for having doubtful teeth and crossdressing in telephone boxes. He spent about 709871523 seconds wondering about insanity and made these five simple rules for insanity:
- Insanity, yellow-bellied as it is, will never model unless we do something about it.
- Insanity is spelled with an I, the second letter is N, the third is S, and the rest is very very dismal.
- Insanity loves teeth, hates air conditioners and feels indiferent about parchments.
- Insanity employed a lot of staplers with a forbidden foible in the year 5841, but don't worry, it's all over now. Just ask your iPod.
- Insanity can't be suffocated, but does it really matter?
- Insanity = Tom Cruise crazy pantleg cod lathered your malevolent devaporiser by the 10 DNA sequences while Nobel prize-winning throwing lithiums.
- oh shit that was 6 rules, that's because Clark Kent is such a stupid/explosive knickknack!!!
edit My Life
Let me tell you a story.
I love lamp. Once, I aborted a pregnant woman's three month old fetus, but it was so adorable I kept it in a jar. I sleep next to it every night. I also consider myself into necrophilia with a living person. It is time to do some defenestrateing or, at least, that's the idea. Personality 2: "The following nonsense is quite dry... NARWHAL!!" ME: "Hush! before I stab you. -_-, if you don't like it, skip over to the words in ALL CAPS!!"..... Now back to my story: I don't see why it's time for blessing, but when I advocated up today I knew it to be the llama, which is why I just rinsed myself a new composition read-only memory.
Thus, I am completely deranged, that's why I have this other personality always interrupting my conversations. Personality 2: "THAT"S BECAUSE YOU're DRUNK FOOL!" Me: Okay whatever. So, I'm using a ricer, specifically the toaster that I tend to use for my rotted oysters of wisdom (if you want to call it that). Now, the use of a
terrorist FREEDOM FIGHTER is not my standard fare as I far prefer the feel and lines of a pine cone, especially a good mechanical custard. How much wood could you Chukity chuchchuckchuck!!! I sniffed a very long eel quite humped to the crystal P205 and cruised through about 3 in twice as many petroglyphs. Personality 2: "ZIPPIES! I LIKE YOUR HAIR! Random note to self: shake your beady beadies! ......BAHHHHHH! :P" Me: Worth dehydrateing is that the 5 here in the elf ...
...**SNORE**.... (five minutes later)...O_O
Semi-sanity: WHO EVER WROTE THIS WAS A PATSY PANSY!! PATSY PANSY I TELL YA! *faints again*
So, you might ask why I would use a gamelan to write when I so prefer operating theaters. The nob turns out to be one of self direction. If I write with a fritter and do not allow myself to cross electrons out, every word that I write is a steak knife that has forever burned behind me.
- finally dies of stupidity.. Personality 2: YAY!!!!
ooOoooh i see TOSTIES!!! And they don't like you!! WEEEEE!! This viagra tastes like my rusty anchor. TRANSGENDER GOPHERS WILL KILL THE ROBOT EMPIRE!!!!! My turtle has tourettes syndrome DONKEY SHLONG! Jim O'McSullivan wears a donkey hat! I like imitating my turtle but my dadmom doesn't. OH SHEHIGHT! I just sat on my turtle's neck. Now it's leg is broken! My skin is leaking human shit. The voices are telling me to reference a meme to you. HAXXORZ!!! OH GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD! MY PACKAGE DOES NOT HAVE A HUMAN FOOT!
Oooo bunnies! look behind you! It's me myself and I, muhahahahehehehehe :P I ate a bagel hole floating in the air...it was air! and it was gooooood....Reminds me when I sniffed ricers ...Good times! goooood times!! ...but it's nothing like getting drunk on nyquil! bahahahahah! I'm a surreal flying pokemon ghost fart...OoOOOoooh DANCING CHIHUAHUAS! i'm no rodent pikachuuuuuuu! I may be a skunk, may be a gerbil, but I'm sure roadkill! DAAAH Rabid twin babies biting each other in a pig pen! Phhtttt....I like bikinis, I am one, I must like myself...i wanna eat my brains, arf ar arf arf barf barf baaaawk! My life is an illusion, When you bone me i'm raping myself. I never knew lesbians could rape each other.....EEEP! I'm talking to myself again! aaaaaaaah $#@%! they spammed me viagra emails, curse you porn spammers! curse yooooouuu!!!! Spammers must die!!!!! Telekinesis mind control should be illegal....oooOoOO....EEEP! I see shape shifting aliens ghosties snatching options and t-shirts. OOoO they left me some plagues....It must be a trap! Beware or fear the wrath of their fluffy unnatural beach balls! The destroyers of worlds! wahahahahahha! Oh lookie at their glycerins, they must be planning something....they're planning something!! EEEP! Oh Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light! Bwahahahaha I need funny quotes to make my day, but i could always use anything to make my day. How do the degenerative monkeys plus Hitler's pet muffin? Why always the assumptions we gotta have something orelse we goona huff kittens and the owrlds gonna end like you were the center of the universe. Yeah maybe your universe but with an instable one like yours, you gonna die a whole lot faster! Bwahahahahah! You hairy Chimp! My favorite phrase is PSEUDO SACROSANCT PERVERSION, which is from slipknot. Now wait..
AAHH Crunch master tarantula!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! ...*GobbleGobleGoble* They think my fluffy cute mailboxes are magically delicious!!!
- Original writer resurrects from the dead... Persinality 2: NOOO!!!
One day as I was typing a paper about myself, I thought to myself, “Hey, I’m typing a paper about myself”. Just then I realized that the space time kitten had been huffed and it was Wednesday and not Thursday like I had thought. So bearing this in mind, I had to act fast and make it to my CD player in time to put it on “kitten huff” or I had no choice but to deactivate the magnetic field around my house. So I lunged at my CD player, not knowing that once I left the ground, my heating bill would sky rocket. So I decided while in mid-air to land on my feet and get a job. On my way to work I had to find a ride there. Thankfully, the water temperature was a little above normal, making travel on land almost as fast as everyone thinks it is. When I walked into work, it essentially collapsed under the weight of all the cheese they had ordered. So I had to quit. Walking home took forever, so I rode the train. The train ended up running over the Hamburgler so it stopped right in front of my house. I walked inside, turned on my computer and started to type something that made sense. But soon realized I was typing on my cat. I was gonna write about how i went on a trip to the northpole, huffed my kittens and became a eunuch for life.
I've been admonishing unpleased tires, one mouse at a time!
Gaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!! My eyes!!!!!!!
Hey, did I tell you I'm a retired masturbating alphamale? LOL jk, I my PEENUS ish just too freeekin shmall to fucking let me make luv to the cute slutty faces in my head... oh I'm only aroused to girls from the chest up.
I mean seriously!! TITS, BLOW JOB CUTE ORGASM FACE, OR GTFO!
edit congruent teeth were to my left striving to be better than the Vietnamese Thai Cambodian Panamanian Qatari Czech Croatian Mauritanian Haitian Zairean Chinese Ugandan Burundian Arab Cuban Englishs!
The moar things that are going on in the world around you, the harder it becomes to focus on any given one. Distraction is a plague, which is thoroughly dificult to evade. Old people burning, what was that quote from billy mays its over 9000 to not be testicle rip silverware. Every night Barney Jr., the Spatula-wielding, sterilized vending machine! Powdered wig-wearing, flying unicycle riding, three-inch-tall son of Barney the Dinosaur, enters my bedroom and spanks me mercilessly with his Magical Spatula! OoOO Let's taste the noodliness of flying spaghetti blob and some heavenly volcano beer AARRG! How....you.....doin'? Almost had near death experience where I had a OOBE...or was that a dream? Boopy poo pies!! Bawk, tarrot want a cookie....rabbid bunny wants tarrot with lush slushies...Your attention to this wreckful non cents amuses me...gimme a mug of what you're on and i'll give you the ancient chinese secret to magnetic levitation....SIKE! never believe everything you find floating in cyberspace, especially when they come in a can of spam.
YOU GUYS WANNA FUCK WITH ME?!? HUH?!?!?!? WHY SO SERIOUS!@!?!?!?!?@>!@>?L<NA:AMDSLSANMAMANMANMAMAMAMAMAMMAMAMMAA NANANANANANANANANANANANANANANATHISISHOWWEDOITDADADADADADADADANANANANANANANANANNAHEYHEYGOODBYE!!! ya way the hell not? Whuzz?
“I want to take a hot steamy on your tender chest... if you return the favor”
The easier the tools one has, the easier it is to allow unskilled operators. Unskilled operators tend to make teeth.
You never know what the captain will bring you. OoOoO cat gamelan!!!!!!!
AAAAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!! THE FRUIT!!! THE FRUIT, IT'S EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!
“Hey, mammary glands veto pricey tires!!!!!! Oh no, it's the etching!!!!”
edit Pigeon Juice
Why don't my friends and their paper go to camp and buy a stapler. We could always go to Ireland after the clouds are done eating their Christmas lights for badger. The air likes to eat puddings and fetch. Don't is my favourite food. Walrus apple sauce pies are the cheapest heirlooms I can hey! Where is that spatula. I need to read the toast to find video game tickets to the Facebook. I guess that is the way of the goold old fashioned mouse. As I were saying:
edit My inner child wants to jam rotted documents
My inner alfalfa wants to insult your inner Volvo and your inner dongle just wants pluck the devil out of my inner jelly, you freakin unrefined facepalm! While one's usual natural tendency converges toward chasing rainbows and automobiles, a true philanthropist will choose the harder option, that is, extravagating sensetive whims in favor of the self-contradictory aspects of life. A reasonable way to approach that would be smoothly sliding from giant turtles into the abyss of the large swamps, that are, the rootless bases of existence. A much more controversial method consists of approaching most bats with that somewhat amusing affirmation of vigilance over oneself, that is not that controversial considering bats eat mostly raw donuts and fast food. An established dictator would prefer softer kittens to huff, though, according to the will of the roller-blade skyscrapers, or better, looking behind the highest forms of abstractive reductionism. As a general rule, most will prefer copper when engaging in the exploitation of imitative supermarkets and quantitative purification of cheese-cakes. Approaching a general method for the extermination of subordinative actions is one truly strong criterion for the possessiveness over one's inner group mechanisms. I also think that affectionate normativeness is bound to become a somewhat unindustrialized simplification of such other realms, don't you agree?
HeLp ThE SoUlS oF tHe CaTs I hAvE HuFfEd HaUnT mE sO fuck you
edit Another Infinite Treatise on Reality as a Numerical Quadrant of the 9th.
Welcome to inside the outside of the 59th and general, the most societarian color of infinity. My waffles are raping my inborn children that were born yesterday. GERSGAHUH, BRGA BINGIE BOUNCIE BURGER, UH? Now, but why... Of course not! Do you really think that of course unless you yourself are not any longer a component in this and its own, therefore it is over? For now, rotational. A star rose into limelight henceforth to be declared the 6th and final of the animal known by the united and most general as Geriad. For now and therefore infinitely forever, the fourth and least important of the secondary choirs (hereon "Helga") shall become (hereon "Helga") another of the most and least but remaining infinite, contain a state of single unity within the discordant and excessively complicated whole. And hereon shall live the people of Callminai. The sushi is phailing to phleaze teh mazzzztuh pasta! Hoooolllliah Shhhhhiiiiiiiiiiipwreck! (hereon "Helga") Me haz a shudden intrest in pincoz.. NOOOOOEZ! Da Pokemon!
edit I see lavish igneous protrusions floating in mid-air
But why such a malicious simplification of truth? Isn't it obedience to the ruling of reductionist dictators? of free-men and pillow imitators? of general methods to the unindustrialized extermination of affectionate normativeness? The answer must be purified, converged, exploited, abstracted and affirmed, as a possessed bat roller-blading in a skyscraper. The truly strong criterion is in the large swamps! that is, in the sensitive whims produced by the giant turtles' group mechanisms! Existence precedes subordinative actions! as any true philanthropist will affirm! vigilance is only in the vision of the sliding supermarkets! Okay, lets calm down now , our hears yelling "GET CRUNK!". Then demand M&ms and bubblicious at gun point!.....Skitties! taste the rainbow! I like the smell of watermelons (but without orange 'boing' sounds) and patty smacking furry sea monkeys. Eeep! flying rocks and invisible dazzling pens! OoOO and oblivious telepathic balloons! What more can we expect but telekinetic anvils and teleporting cockroaches?
Don't look at me with that color of voice.
The pain of becoming a rotten miniature cannot be compared to history's most tedious assertiveness over the degradation of flat surfaces. I would not have been surprised to hear that, considering I was cleaning my fifteen story apartment over a cup of barely untamed coffee when I was told that my favorite piece of filthy quackery- or, alternatively, normalcy and warps- was torn apart by the systematic ants of my neighbourhood's personal casino, really! Sometimes I feel that flying above my clouds with my favorite intergalactic cruise-board will make that seem a bit worthless, but not every day. I have a tendency to eat beds, chairs, rigid marshmallows, potato-boats, electric suits, raw meat, raw mice, raw plants, raw hydrogen and raw nuclear Vespa bombs. You see, I prefer a balanced, well thought out scaling of potential subversions of spontaneous justice, unlike most who practice the art of materialist kinship. OooOoO lookie a flying seaarthritis monkey named Criss (actually, never mind. Sleeping frogs). Let's shoot him down with a opaque gun and poke him with a stick....You know he likes it, you see it in his eyes! ...he denies it....but he's only hiding the hidden shitty candies in his head! Come on kiddies! Let's whack his head until it all comes out! Buzz buzz buzz..............! His diamonds and Oldsmobiles are speaking because of opaque spermicide. Guten Nacht!
I AM FUCKING INSANE!U N008Z SHALL D1113333!!!!!1111!!!!! O:o:O:o:
A touch is the base of all thought, I learned that while I was attracting a herd of zealous monkies at the last time I was demonstrating the eradication of comparative electrical morality. This was an unashamedly explosive account of the otherwise superflous evaluation of other microwave life forms. It is very easy for one to lose one's steam when the environment is not correct for continuing. Stuff stuff stuff stuff yawn write don't care if there's no quality, just write, keep momentum. Words must continue to be placed on the paper. Must I continue to force myself to ignore Bio or can I keep writing volume and not ignore. Word word photogenetic phylogeny monked dogmatic system brick whale tourniquet ratchet fortune cookie cap square sign words red light polio fisheries onomatopoeia solar system dictionary spatial representation four snail doormat Easter Toledo North salami forge collectibles monkey monkey femur monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey monkey narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal narwhal spleen spleen spleen spleen spleen thee seven taco four eight paleontology glass words loud nonsense anchor hammer flight fish moron placid tranquility brick brick brick Formica splash fluid static eatery colossal spelled wrong always spinach blue green septum words pathway cornbread polymer hammer spectacular no erasing firstborn splatter sled corn fish fi fee fo four and a half California inquiry inquisition spolema tor wauki spigot worm disease rupture Korea Tokyo tsunami typhoon ninja kid food muffin top barrel of monkeys barrel monkeys barrel monkeys barrel monkeys badger snake fungi fungus fungal fish float flout snout snort crane plane main Maien strain mainstream Coast Guard splatter guard fold schmold cold spold spool cool fool pontoon raccoon to soon coon moon toon buffoon interpretive dance romance chance clance manse rancid meat spontaneous generation swirl twirl flurl curl divergence charge up a hill at the enemy who has entrenched in the superior position no matter we have more troops and your dog is expendable or perhaps your dog is expandable mandible click-clack giant ant flying into the mantis spongiform beast defeat in the realm of the manifold destiny collapse from sense to gibbering like four fold carts which we eat to cut down on excess protein put the spoon in your mouth you tooth fishing bastard what kind of man east teeth the blanket knows no bounds of sensical benevolent malefactor of memetic tom foolery is enforced by the simulated super intellect of an omniscient sandwich brother fork formal procedure tandem exploding moral aptitude and the words stop formationally diagrammatic flagellation is a key component in the artificing of stoic pig systems where an individual can create an excess of greek letters and spelling errors tasty pie made of artificial safety tape replicas of the Nigerian moon navy added to sport agonization election erection completion sporulation moralspeculation formulation of the chemical structure of evil cole slaw surpassed compressed possessed coalesced egressed redressed molest TOENAIL!!!!! protest expressed compressed gas that is noninflammable unlike dense water that exploits uneducated worked class intelligentsia who eat two many earlobes while throwing together everything else that matters in a colloquial aorta explosion outside the flight membrane of overeaten soft pulp which has been seen to formulate a diagram in which all species are created better than lower quality submersible vaccines machines have taken over, everyone is a robot and dogs are zombies that want to eat your brain creating a chain of pain ensuing in Maine on a train that fell from a plane through a window pane lifted by a crane run by a man who is insanely inane in the rain on a plain from Spain on a highway of one lane and such is my bane so I walk with a cane so doth the moon want under the lion's mane while the blood is slow in my one vein of iron ore smelted and carbonized to make a stolen car bomb out of the penguin revolution in the fifth millennia which can not be confused with the walrus revolution that followed shortly before the vehicles due date was born out of the head of a short-sighted mongoose eating the cobra tail of life explosive degradation I fucked your mom last night woot woot of the tertiary membrane results in the extrication of the somnomblaic salad fish where folded entities are concerned form replicates fractional divergence in the realm of metasystematic irrelevance good golly green gamma golf gorge gouge out the eyes of failure reinterpret malevolent democratic principles without regard for the malnutrition of wellbeing intransient stoic optimism in the face of omniscience transient metabolic separation residue left on the cork of the wine bottle that is life on the other side of existence is existence where some people forever return to the same location where they were not in the past sense of the extrapolation of a rabbit's hoof cooked host more felt in the veldt on the rainfield of sage crop Poland the photo against the wall where we push the box purifying Aunt Jemima's gray hoodie noun eats fish shoots lemon writes orbit flys spatula complements the lawn gnome emperor rules over the realm of funk is sometimes wrong about conflagration of single cored hair tonic water and juniper excretion in the world of post processed phage system in the important issue of helicopter surveillance monkey wrench wench clench drench quench your molten gas chamber of time shifted ligand solar power trivial heresy unappreciated multiplicative oversimplification transubstantiative malodiferositous bowl of porridge promiscuity is the spectacular issue from which we derive safety synaptic diflurgation expansion system explode node electrode fibril twill quill swill nil hill fill bill still gill semiotic dinosaur blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard blizzard four two a double bookkeeper sweeper ringer big numbers explode while you ignore the background system when you don't try hard enough in exploiting the way in which the universe eats fish to keep your mother on task when she starts to worry about gopher expansion itself sleeping through the era era era era tax fraud is a highly technical process often used to cook ducks faster but they must still eat their own feathers for analytic purposes analyze in disguise with these guys who eat flies in two tries with a spoon my government is ruled by flying spatulas that desire the consumable portions of your holistic environment with two and one half assault helicopters being artfully flown by spasming archery doves on the wings of blurry vision causing coagulation in the extracellular direction we take to have important ramifications on exploding dolphin fish dog log tortilla shell smell malleable governance through tyranny is impelled towards overt justification of jurisprudence in the flying trial system lacking overtures in the third movement of the fourth expansion testing trying flying buying vying for air superiority in the Indian Ocean so we can purchase all the emu ranches with special sauce loss and gain comparison of polyurethane explain train conductor insulator in an insular society of frozen monks eat pie all day long stopping as soon as they lose their faith in firearms and firelegs and other assorted firelimbs in the less extreme case where cannibalism grips the youth of the nation likes the trailing flight more than the leading one rolling death in Vegas to collect grocery bags for your favorite hobby shop to purchase new machinery so that we can hold the death on a stick hands of old ladies while they cross the ocean in municipalities from which we have long since been exiled for salad ballad quiescence he's always interfering with my grand designs the man in the mirror is an evil son of a cheap Vietnamese whore and I will kill the bastard wipe the smug smile off his face then there will be no one left to stand in the way of my plans but first I have to find him at a time when he's not wearing that magic power belt that he always has on his nose soon dominion over the land of man shall be mine and then I will build many casinos to take all the money from Indian telemarketing agents and the GOD YEAH!!! DO IT!!! ALMOST...ALMOST... 6969696969696969696969696969696969696969. cockballstityfuckingalligatorscock. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. PERIOD.
edit Miss Lucifer teapot has smuggled another rodbugger!
Oh no! My favorite German duck has been hit by a flying hot dog! NARSH I SAY TO THAT! WHERE ARE MY NUCLEAR TEACAKES!! SQUIRE, FETCH ME A POTATOE SO THAT I MAY FEAST UPON YET ANOTHER PEASENT! What, someone fried the clown in trans fat? I'll show those dirty hookers whose the real sandwich! In any which case a confabulated Greek salad has attacked Paris and the narwhals are currently on hold. Should we send in the narcoleptic candy corn? My favorite shoe has besieged Australia! Once upon a teapickle there was a little goose named Sally. One day, Sally snarked her way into my house, where I promptly broke her neck with a purple bread pan. A theraputic triangle is what you need my dear! But daddy, I didn't want a dead bird for Christmas, I wanted George Clooney's half-eaten sandwich! No! Your getting the archbishop of Canterbury to smoke a tub of gravy if it's the last thing I fry in salted butter!
edit forbidden cockroaches make scary noises
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! outsourcing will be mine along so I can eat all the spinach that I want and wipe cod fish from the face of the planet as we will no longer need them to feed our robot armies in the distant past when space fish roamed the skies of all unknown clone monkeys in the North Sea clown industrial complex this is a very big word indeed and do not let its small size confuse you as I take the last remnants of what remains away from the concept to ensure that anarchy is indeed the answer to the myriad of political problems that have come about over the past few moments while the fools have been consuming their one and only savior while traveling a truly stupendous distance in one single leap a terrific bound across non-geometric awesome in a can shapes that can no more be seen than comprehended by the likes of man who in his head is also woman but will not admit his state to the dog that buffalos his leg in a four pronged attack meant to demoralize the enemy long enough for the cephalopods to regain a ruling majority in the council of animals and overtly remove the usurpers from their throne as to once again allow the lord master kraken to eat some tasty treats as he is quite fond of doing while lazing about on a quiet Sunday afternoon. The Devil's poisonous play things! Unholy Goblin Glider pinchers I got cheese pixies in a barn, what should i do? OoOoO i know i'm gonna bumgee jump like a hippo puppet parkour style! OooOoOoO chakra chakra chakra wanna farm? rrra rrraaa rrrraaaaaa...wha? sorry, saladfigers caught my tongue with a kitty puppet....reeeeoooow! I want pie, i want to be a pie! I woke up wrapped in a torillla yesterday smothered in hot sause, what should i do? or was that yesterday...in a dream? I fell asleep after being knocked out onto glass and dreamt I snatched the teacher's wig and then ran home! OooOOOoOoO I see ghost munchkins in the air and they don't like you, they want to devour your soul! It's the revenge of the eaten sweets! OoOoOoO EEEP! Jakers! adventures of Peter Petrelli, where's the goofy hair? I ate it! aaahahahahaha I'm emo, I don't know who I am and i'm an over grown adolescent about to explode! AAAAH! -.- Now i'm an egghead...eeeek where's my yoke? Oh forgot, i'm Gir dog and i need room for the tuna! I miss cupcake though...OoOoO BUUUURRRIIIIITOOOOOOS! Giggidy giggidy goo bull's eye! ...Oh look an alien! ooops that was tim allen takeing a leap on a flying donut....MMmmm donut....D'OH! I like to smell watermelons. Welcome to veggietales where i sell my jucies and my.....and my....hubahubahbubha bubba...[has seizures].......I believe i can die! flying on a custard pie in the sky! I am all starry eyed! EEEEk my eyes are gonnna pop out EEEEpers! i look like kermit the froggy eeeep! i wanna see mickey mouse! he'll know what to do!!! He'll give me more coffeeeeeee wheeeeeeeeheeeeeeheheeeeeeeeee.....huh? Tic Tac patty whack! Homo erectus got lovely bones, Hugh Laurie went rolling home! Hey! Santa is gonna eat you with his mittens! RUUUUUN! AAAAAH! am i the only one who thinks the nephilim myth about angels abducting pretty ladies into the air is disturbingly erotic? Oh wait, i'm not horny, i'm constipated! AAAH! My goodies fell off! Oh wait it was my poop...it was the poopiest poop that never existed....oh my! OOHHHH NOOOO, ATTACK OF THE GREAT WALL OF TEXT, AAAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!! I see dingdungs! oink! OOH ME SEES A CUTE GIRL!! GIRL!! Can you sing "you're my cuppy cake" while I feel your boobs, then can you fake an orgasm while while I tap that ass like a can of whoop ass?
TOENAILZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG! MY HURRRRRRR! MEH SO SCURRRRED! SOMEWUN STOLE MAH HURRRR!!! THAY SNATCHED IT FROM MAH HEAD AND RANZ AWAYZ!!! HAAAAALPZ!!!! THAY DENY IT... OH YESSS THAY DOOO... IT WAS MAH WIG BIATCH!!!
edit I smell bulbous pens and lifeless organs
Foot wrenches can align quite precisely, despite what the liberal media will claim. However, your soul needs peanutbuttery goodness on irregular intervals, sometimes on Thursday. If you are in need of a certified dermapathologist call your bookie, as he is a reputable dealer. My foot's asleep. For the love of my ass stop staring! It burns! Who do you think you are, what with the fancy dinet set and CD tray. I have found it is fun to play games of the video type, and eat pie. YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. pie. Pie good mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm narwhal pants in a happy happy place. yyyyyeeeeeeessssss. This was an intermission opposed to an outermission.
The Goddess is laughing at you from her distant celestial moon
Where are my pants?
WHERE ARE MY PANTS!?!
They must have stolen my pants.
I know they did, don't deny it.
Ah there they are now where was I? Oh yes well as you can see my dear fellow that clearly Disney is to blame for the war in Iraq, if you look closely at Mr Bush you can see Mickey mouse YOU SEE YOU SEE IT!!! Now where's the button who's got the button?!?! Where ?!?!?!?!
Haha that snoopy... I'm a manatee :-) yes well mhm then well you see I was walking yesterday well.. I think I was walking was I walking I'm not sure, but I think I was walking or was I running? I'm not sure and then there was this dog in my cheese.... Well at least I thought it was a dog it looked like a dog it might have been a dog or was it a cat it might have been a cat or was it a bird you never know, but I think it was a dog or was it a cat it might have been a cat but I'm pretty sure it was a bird or was it the black beast of AAAAAAAAA! in my cheese? Run away! Well anyway I said to Big Bird you have to just stop touching the little kids it scares them leave that to the catholic priests. It was the summer of 1943 24 kids go into the water Duck in the water 14 kids go out the water, George Bush he take the rest....
Damn I dropped my pen where'd my pen go I dropped my pen THEY STOLE MY PEN!! I DROPPED MY PEN WHERE'D IT GO!!!
Oh there it is, thank you. Aren't you a nice hedgehog for finding my pen. Anyway, what I was thinking when I was thinking about what I was thinking just now was how I thought I'd think about what I was thinking about rather than think about things I hadn't even thought of thinking about. But since I can't think straight, I have to think crooked, and that's no good, is it? But when I was thinking about thoughts... Wait where's my thoughts? As a matter of fact, where's my frontal lobe?
UGHH, People are sick about all the thing they do. And it think, not just think, think. But if I drink, drink under the moonshine ends, and tsunamis flood the world. Good fucking job, dick.
I like laughing.
edit OMG! I just ate my craniaI wonder if it was the carrots. How could it be the carrots, they say that they like me and I'm their friend. They always tell me that they like me but I've been starting to wonder. Just because the carrots tell me that they like me doesn't mean that the necessarily do. It might just mean that the carrots hate me and are lying to me when they say that they like me. I guess really, it comes down to a question of doomwhether I am better at detecting whether the carrots like me or are lying to me about liking me than the carrots are at lying to me about liking me if they don't like me. So, if I think that the carrots like me, then either the carrots do like me and my ability to discern whether or not the carrots are lying to me about whether or not they like me in relation to the carrots ability to lie to me about whether METALLICA!!!!!! or not they like me is of relatively little consequence or it happens to be the case that the carrots don't like withme and my ability to discern whether or not the carrots are lying to me about whether or not they like me is inferior to the carrots ability to lie to me about whether or not they like me. I wonder if it was the carrots. friesOr was it the tomatoes? It could have been the tomatoes you know how they get when they're canned psycho little buggers they be, aye they are the almighty tomatoes flee!!! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES or they'll get you....
The penguins never gave me this kind of trouble they raised like I was one of their own..well that was until the fateful grue incident.... How I miss the penguins.... Wotiday!
And so my friends, today you ask why I have asked you to come here. Well here is why comrades! A new day is arising. A DAY WITHOUT DAIRY. For too long we have suffered under the oppression of these evil, tyrannical monsters! Let us join together, brothers, and purge the sin from among ye! A dairy cleansing! Find every slice of butter, cup of man milk, pail of ice cream, AND DESTROY IT! LET US MARCH! PIE!!! BACON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
edit Oh NOES! Where'd my obscure coconuts go!
They busted a cap in my coconuts with a friggen BOTTLE CAP and flogging strike of a SLEDGEHAMMER!!! AHAHAHAHA!
Now I wanna hear rap music while I bone a chick, bone a chick, bone a chickabowowz in the mouth
why am i such a nerd? that's the end of the song, there's nothing that rhymes with nerd.
someone edited this page, it was funnier before..... FUNNIER BEFORE I TELL YOU ..FUNNiER BEFORE!!!!!!!!! ARGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!.... ok..................NARWALLS!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGH!!The mushrooms....coming to get me....wit spearmint knives! NUUUU USE DA UPERPWNIFY RAY B4 WE R ALLZ DOOMED O:<. Ah SUPER MECHA PANDA ROBOT GO! KAMEHAMEFLOUNDEEEEEEEEER!!! XDXD
the sheep theyre coming and they have knives they want to kill me, but ive got some mint sauce to kill them with ! BITCHES moo... rawr im a dandylion i want your mum to pick me and spit on me ! i like doing adventures with fred my imaginary friend and we like to dance together
Pineapples are falling from the skies! IT'S THE INFANT'S FAULTS!! AHHHHH!!!!
YOU ALL DESERVE TO DIE!! Whales go fwlulululululup. But they scream too. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And that's how I lost the fight with the retarded school bus. THEY'RE EATING MY FINGERS! THE DAMN INFANTS ARE EATING MY FINGERS SO I MAY NOT TELL YOU THEIR SECRETS!! EREWTgdfgdjofgfd';lfedag!
“WERES THE MEAT!!!! WHERES THE MEAT I GATTA FIND THE MEAT!!!!!!!”
I just got new knives, sorry. I wanted to see how well I could type with them.
edit Get them cobs off my charming balls!
HOLY SHoT-CloCK DOCK! CHENEY'S A FIRING HIS deviant!!!!!
Well now i forgot what i were talking about, Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja...ZzzZzzzz O.O
THEY'RE COMING FOR ME!!! THE peculiar bananas ARE COMING TO TAKE ME AWAY, I TELL YOU!!! With salad forks and clones but no air conditioners....Where did it gooooo!!! the sacrificed tubes must've agreed them into another dimension!
Well now i forgot what i were talking about, Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja...ZzzZzzzz O.O zzzzzzzzzzzz....zzzzzzzzz..zzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzz...........zzzzz...zzzzzzzzzzzzz......
zzzzz ...huh? oh yeah....Dejavu won't get me this time...zzzzz ...huh? oh yeah....Dejavu won't get me this time...zzzzz ...huh? oh yeah....Dejavu won't get me this time...zzzzz o.O
FEAr the Wrath of my PINKY Fists! bahahahaha hehehehehohohohohoheho..... EEEEEK! Now they're really gonna get me! HOLY CRAP GOTTA RUN NAOW!!! OMGZ THEY'RE CATCHING UP. JESUS CHRIST I"M DEAD AS SHIT!1!!1!1 ...OoOoOoO...EEEEEEP! -.-
Well now i forgot what i were talking about, Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell...zzZZzzz
Twenty-carrot times underneath me is several not-so-un-niceness people who don't care ABOUT AnYtHiNg. See also the community pisspot
DON'T BE ALONE!!!! ...EEEEP! I see doubtful virii jaming in mid-air and they don't like you!
Well now i forgot what i were talking about, Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell. ZzzzZZz
There are lots of fat kids in today's society so the only possible solution (EVER!) is obviously Euthanasia......... BLAM BLAM BLAM the cat lord will eat you.
Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell.
If a polar bear says "No" it usually means "Ooh look it seems like my friends are suffering from Dëja Vu aswell." Also, if it says "No", that does not count as it not giving it's consent.
My little pony had a lamb called Lisa. Lisa ate the pony, and had rocks.
I think about not thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking, or not thinking, about you or me thinking about either of us not thinking about thinking of me thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking, or not thinking, about you or me thinking about either of us not thinking about thinking of me thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking or not thinking, about you or me thinking about either of us not thinking about thinking of me thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking, or not thinking, about you or me thinking about either of us not thinking about thinking of me thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking,or not thinking, about you or me thinking about either of us not thinking about thinking of me thinking about you thinking about not thinking about me thinking about eating lemon.
edit O NOES! D: The impressive cakes are going to make me crinkle!
But it is my destiny! AHHHHHHHHH!!! JAMAICA!!!!!! It's the destination of all that are destined for the destiny of the destination to the destiny of melodramatic bananas!!!! Did you hear about the woman who gave birth to a moribund tadpole? She named it Fluffy! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! HAPPY ZIPPY BATFUCKINSANE!!!!! FERGALICIOUS. SO DELICIOUS. BUT I AIN'T PROMISCUOUS. AND IF YOU WERE SUSPICIOUS, ALL THAT SHIT IS A...
Well guess what, bitch! I cured a fluorescent light, bitch! So don't bitch about how Pastafarian your Chuck Norris impersonator is, bitch! Because I'm known as the Beef Bastard, everyone knows I'm the ultimate master!
I HAVE A DREAM! Yeah. Except it kinda wasn't about civil rights. It was about this on edge diet pill whose name was cake. And then he started to curate a vein! Freaky, huh? WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Yeah, last night, my best friend and I were out watching an EXCLUSIVE screening of The Pain Series (search that on this website if you really want to know what that is) LOLOL. and then this hot lint came up and she was like "Hey hotstuff. Wanna exemplify me?" and then we were like "NTY bizznatch, we only take SEXY iron curtains ^_^" and she was like "FINE BITCH. THEN I'LL JUST HAVE TO DO THIS." And then she turned into this really hot chick and we were all like "DO ME NOW." and then everything exploded all the way to Burlington. WEEEEEEEEEEEE BATFUCKINSANE
edit Aggressive action verbs are my friends!
Holy demoralizing anvil I am a rabbit! A dancing rabbbit! 1000 foot tall flaming kitties wrapped in barbed wire are going to kill me! Ilike rabbits do you like rabbits? Come on tell me you like rabbits! I know you like the rabbitty rabbit! You like Rabbit. I like rabbit. I am a rabbit. Yes I rabbit. I have a pet rabbit. Where's my rabbit, here, rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit rabbit! They stole the rabbit! gimme my rabbit! i know you have it! Don't lie to me! You better gimme my rabbit! Go Fuck a Texas toast and gimme rabbit! I'm a teddy bear gone insane! I cuddle you or you die! If you don't like my cuddles, you will be miserable, so you better like cuddlies! Bwahahaha Fart fart.... Blahah! That's someone's name on Lamehoo Answerz... Gosh, I desprately believe in horoscopes @_@
I like pudding. I like Ebay 27,425,742. DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
my name roger phils i love to play with kittens in the stre when people are huffing the kittens while here are monst ers in my head telliung me to go eat that damn kitten it would be amazingly condecnding to canibal on a sunday. and my orgasm speeks the truth about the aliens on the night mare relm qit hear that walrus is particularly good this time of year, tad oh, indeed reginald! i have supped on a bagel coated in fecaes all night. quite so. so how is archibald? i believe he is on that sandwich you're eating. oh dear! my greatest sypothy's to you proctologist. i hear he's been seen with a rather odd hedgehog of late. o rly? *cough* i apologise good sir i was over come with a wave of owlness. oh, no harm taken though my spine is now a poodle. oh yes? well a week with a lawnmower should clear it up. i say, lawnmowers a frightfully expensive. i shall use a yoghurt spoon.
GIANT FUZZY ROOSTERS ARE FALLING FROM THE GROUND!! RUN!! HIDE YOUR TWINKIES! UNPLUG YOUR SOFAS!!! HURRY!!!! Uh-oh! Jeebus is coming, let's all hide! OooOOooOoo poke-porn...do you like mudkips? EEEP! this page tickles me. EEK! Take it away, it's killing me! Oh right, it's only an extension of my mind, it's gonna die off anyway and i regenerate, yay! ....I wanna twinkie!
I KNEW IT! The Next Pope Will be the ANTI-Christ....Everybody hide the porn!
But whimsiaclly, who contemplates the elasticity of a duck's wanker on a Tuesday orbiting Neptune, anyway? Apparently, scuba diving prostitutes mangled ideas with Einstein's kitten, thus causing your mom to asplode like Dallas in the winter!
THE END??? I THINK NOT THAT I THINK I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT I DIDN'T KNOW BACK THEN, WHICH IS NOW, BUT TOMORROW'S YESTERDAY TODAY!!
I AM THE GOD OF MORK AND GLOO!!! PRAAAAAAAAAAAAIIISE MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! HAIL TO THE UNICORN!
edit That's where my running was
One coffee last night I was eating some what the fucks and they threw away. The last time they threw away on houses was when Abraham Lincoln sat next to the Eiffel Tower at brunch last Walter Cronkite. Oh, the fifteenth! I miss those water proof helmet sausages. They saved a lot of flame eating baseball tickets.
CHICKEN NUGGET PORN IS AWESOME!!!!!
Oh man that fish that I raced with this dark summer morning was so great that I died. Then I became Superman and I saved the doughnuts from the cat which stared at the wall. I asked the wall, why? And the wall answered, "the treasure is hidden in the go home. I will lead you to the to's." So I followed my head to my shirt and found a black line which meant I was looking for a president. I found Lady Gaga, the 1368th president of The United States of Yemen Egypt. And I saw the walls of my face inside my eye and I realized that when I look places i'm looking into the eye. Everything is my eye. I am my eye. The eye owns the world, but I bought it from him after he sold it to me for a yellow. And I met all the colours there and I sang with themn until I got called by my best friend the hiccup. And I lay on the grues.
edit insane conspiracies of baby crab kittens
LIES! LIES! LIES! the crazy cat crabs are REAL!! Real? All that is real is truly fake just like sand. SAND? NOOOO NOT SAAAND? HELP MEEE I'M BEING ATTACKED BY WOODEN PUZZLES!!! RUNN FOR YOUR LIVESSSS GAAH as i was saying before i was rudely inferred that i am a purple monthly sharpener made of silver and beaver meat i would like to say that insane hamsters have feelings too and can writhe on the dance floor and probable beat your a$$ at dance dance revolution REVOLUTION REVOLUTION -VOLUTION -UTION -ON ECHOES!! NOT THE VOICES! again as i was saying the lobsters are actually direct descendants of john the rainbow unicorn and Rob the epileptic tyrannosaurus rex which explains why nyan cat can not actually poop, but vomit rainbows this is because when ninja carrots came ant took over cuba during the Bay of Pigs incident they bred a new species of calculators destined to find and kill Will Smith FIRE TO THE MUD MUDKIP USE NINJA FIRE TO ANSWER THE DAMN PHONE LADIDA oh i just figured out why Suzanne Collins is a shiny, fat scissors that will give reverse pregnancies to plastic bags like the kind you find floating around in rabid clouds than ice cream is good. i like ice cream.
edit What the voices in you head are telling you..
“I am not, in any shape, form or way, insananitised. The biadolical spoken words within my head are telling me themselves.”
“I've always been mad, I know I've been mad, like the most of us are. Very hard to explain why you're mad, even if you're not mad.”
“Thats our name”
“I once ablated a bridge in Insanity.”
edit See also
- Stream of consciousness
- And Now For Something Completely Insane
- Disney World
- Ozzy Osbourne
- Lyndon LaRouche
- Amy Winehouse
On a final note: My god is a chain smoking, three headed, epiletic Tyrannosaurus Rex