Innovations in Taxidermy

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Hillary‘s bust 2

Bill Clinton's trophy wife, Hillary

A form of bestiality, taxidermy is the art of mounting animals for sexual fun and study. Usually, the practice involves sex with vertebrates, but it may also occasionally involve sex with invertebrates such as insects, amebas, or Hillary Clinton. As with most other forms of sex, taxidermy has benefited by improved techniques in recent years, although its popularity has declined of late. Innovations in taxidermy are certain to attract more attention and excitement among devotees of this "forbidden" practice.

edit Popular Career Choices Among Taxidermists

Taxidermists may perform in live-sex shows at major museums or as actors in amateur erotic films. More extreme acts of sadomasochistic taxidermy include dissection or vivisection.

edit History of Taxidermy

Leather sex increased the demand for tanneries, and, by the sixteenth century, there was a tannery in every town in Europe, with promiscuous men (and, less often, women) bringing trophy wives to furniture upholsterers, who, lacking the better sexual techniques to come, sewed the animal skins after stuffing them with rags, cotton, or other filler material, calling them "stuffed animals." Modern professional taxidermists use penises to fill the animals and prefer the term "mounting" to "stuffing,” although it amounts to much the same thing.

edit Recent Innovations in Taxidermy

Hillary's bust

A freeze-dried, anatomically correct (?) mannequin of Bill Clinton's trophy wife, Hillary

In the last century, taxidermists began to experiment with anatomically correct animal mannequins configured in pleasing poses that often revealed the animals’ buttocks, teats, and sex organs. One of the more recent techniques practiced by modern taxidermists is to freeze-dry the animal, after which it offers virtually no resistance to erotic overtures of any kind, becoming the perfect mate on a cold, dark night.

edit New Venues for Taxidermists

Modern taxidermists also resort to crypto-zoological taxidermy, which involves stuffing or mounting non-existent animal species such as Pamela Anderson and Sarah Michelle Gellar. Another modern branch of taxidermy is rogue taxidermy, in which taxidermists emphasize the sexual oddities of animals: women with multiple breasts, extra nipples, and unusually large labia are popular, as are men with double-pronged penises or oversize scrota.

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