Indians
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“Where's the curry?”
~ Christopher Columbus on arriving in the American Indies
“You came to the wrong place BITCH!”
~ Native American on Christopher Columbus
“Thank you come again!”
~ Apu
{{Q|Would you like to hit or stay?|....SHIT that's Native Americans
Indians, as the name implies, originate from India. Despite their apperances, they are actually ancient reptilian dinosaur creatures that had established great technological advances millions of years ago. They achieved shape shifting abilities, and now plan to take over the world. Their IQ is 100x higher than that of an average human. However, they are far lazier than their arch nemesis- The Chinese, and thus, their development has slowed down.
Indians, or Indiansaurs are commonly confused with their much rarer relative, the "Native American".
Indiansaurs have frequently become powerful historical figures through out their history, such as Einstein. They often conceal their true race using their shap shifting powers. Other well known historical Indians include Hitler, Eric Cartman, Apu, Jesus, and Britney Spears.
Indian Women
Indian Women are highly explosive as they red button on their forheads and are packed with C4's. One wrong move and you will meet the Curry, their divine good. It is a law in the streets of India to keep a 4 meters distance from any women, resulting in 99.99% of the population know homosexual and an AIDs infested city.
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[edit] Indians, Red Indians and Injuns
Indians, have developed a unique lifestyle unlike any other human being on this entire earth. Most indians migrate southwest from their native homeland of Indiana to the shity of Saint Louis, Misery. From that moment on the species typically go through a transition phase where they are then known as “Hoosiers” or "Trailer-Trash". Hoosiers are usualy found over crowding top-notch retial stores such as Wal-Mart, K-Mart, some have even been spotted at “Target”. These assholes are famous for also overcrowding fine dining restaurants such as Steak and Shake, Jack in the Box, as well as Hardees. Usualy throughtout the entire year of every year, or any season, these native americans will sport a wife-beater, jean shorts with holes, and tube socks.
Indians call themselves "Red people", in order to join the colored peoples' movement to whine, gain attention, for welfare checks and get affirmative action in job hiring or college admission, but unlike Asians they get huge scholarships because there are only three surviving with enough pure blood.
Many people will confuse rednecks and your mom and Indians as the same thing, while in reality, they are about as similar as Swiss cheese and Head cheese.
Dictionary.com will describe Indians as “Of or relating to any of the Native American peoples except the Eskimos, Aleuts, and Inuits”. Sometimes, Mexicans are included to the "Indian" category, and so does French Canadians.
Indians are known for their important contributions to the medical and IT fields, the public transportation industry, and distribution of preservative-laden "food"stuffs, since they are the only intelligent or educated people willing to work at gas stations and convenient stores. They are also known for their ancient traditions of hunting, fishing, gambling, arranged marriages, gathering, selling and overcharging for crappily made "authentic" souvenirs, farming, gambling, discovering new uses for buffalo, running our math departments, being pissed off, drinking, eating buffalo, drinking, fixing your computer, drinking, smoking, movie-making with emphasis on quantity over quality, smoking with drinking, smoking, gambling, shooting films that are 98.53% musical and 1.47% plot, gambling, drinking, watching TV, sitting in bars, drinking and getting killed by John Wayne.
OTHER THAN THIS Many indian gods have been preceved to be modeled after carnies. One of witch Shiva was sandra who was a 6 armed deformed human. In the traveling group of carnies was also a half human half elefant who also became a god.
[edit] Phisologygy
Indians also know as Nativus Pariahus can easily be distinquished from their more human cousins, Asians with suntans. Firstly, instead of bleeding blood when injured, their wounds ouse a high viscosity yellow luminous fluid.
Indians, unlike Asians, aren't clever with computers, don't attend universities, don't know marital arts and sure aren't smart nor talented in playing piano or violins. Indians may well be a sub-species of African racial groups.
However, Indians have the benefit of being able to live in the woods with no means of sustenance for forever, because of the power of nature. They can run at sixty miles an hour through a dense forest without running into a tree, and once you get one on your property, you know there's ten more you can't see. Once you get the trademark burned-out firepits and empty whiskey bottles, try coughing into a blanket and leaving it out. Most whites carry a plethora of diseases harmless to them, but which cause indians to explode. Check back in two months, and with luck the blood from the explosions will have given birth to a brand new haunted forest, prime for building a mansion.
Indian dietary habits differ from Humans in that they only require alcohol for sustinance with the exception of human flesh on special ocasions. This they usualy attain from their local Bar where they spend 37 hours, 8 days a week at.
During World War II, newspapers used patriotic propaganda to unite all American people against Indians and other "Mongoloid" races, nearly the same way the Nazis' propaganda to unite all Aryans against the Jew or "Hebrew" races. One difference is U.S. soldiers after more drinks than a Red Indian can handle just beat the shit out of them, while the S.S. troops will shoot Jews like turkeys. But it's in the past, so forget about it (note: DO NOT say this towards anyone who's an Indian).
[edit] Types of Indians
- Brown Indians
- Green Indians
- Yellow Indians
- Blue Indians
- Injuns
- Pakis
- Geeky Indians
- Facist Indians
- Cleveland Indians
- Atlanta Braves
- Washington Redskins
- Kansas City Chiefs
[edit] Stats
- 87% of natives drink on an hourly basis.
- 93% of natives are unemployed.
- 89% of natives get all of their income from the government.
- 76% of native males are named "Jordan" or "Jordy".
- 91% of natives smoke and grow pot.
- 100% of natives are disliked by the world out side their reserves.
- 50% of natives own casinos.
- 98% of natives are obese.
- 99.5% of natives are usually Cherokee.
- 540% are named varsha.
- 23.7% own a shirt that states: "HOMELAND SECURITY. Fighting Terrorism since 1492".
- 44.4% have given up any hope to solving our "immigration problem".
- 86.4% have been told, "Funny, you don't look like an Indian."
- 66.6% have been told, "My great-great-great-grandmother was an Indian princess."
- 33.3% have been asked, "Do you still live in a tipi?"
- 83.1% have heard others say, "I thought you guys were getting rich off of casino money."
- 38.9% get sick of hearing, "I got me a dreamcatcher."
- 96% get tired of being asked, "So how much Indian are you?" as if being Indian was a matter of fucking percentages.
- 69% respond by saying (while holding their crotch), "Mostly I'm white, but the part of me you can't see is all Indian."
- 69% of male Indians have responded by saying, "Yes, I have a little Indian in me. Would you like a little Indian in you?"
[edit] How to make a native name
- Male: Jordy/Jordan_______verb then creature or object related to nature
- example: Jordy Jumpingfeather
-Raghav.
[edit] See Also
- Indian Ocean
- Mel Gibson
- The Pope
- Cher
- Ghandi
- Adam Beach
- Lou Diamond Philips
- Chandler from Friends
- The Seinfeld episode when Kramer in his usual racial insensitivity brings in an Indian tobacco statute to Jerry Seinfeld's apartment, when his female friend said she's an Indian and doesn't like the statute. Kramer went on a verbal rampage shouting "She's a Nigger!" and "Are you a Jew?" to Seinfeld.
| This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia. |
