Ingredient X

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Kagax

Chairman Kaga says that today's secret ingredient is X!

Ingredient X (ex) is one of the more famous of the triaminodimethylphosphates. Used as a flavouring in many culinary products, it creates a pleasant taste in the mouth of whoever consumes it.

“Goes great with butter!”
~ Oscar Wilde on Ingredient X

edit Common products containing Ingredient X

edit Production

edit Knowledge

Some say that Ingredient X is made by the intelligent designer while others (those with more brain cells than an eggplant) agree that only one person on this earth knows exactly how to produce Ingredient XL. He will remained un-named. Mostly because if we told you, he would kill subject us to his selective employment plan. For the purposes of this article, he will be referred to as Dr P.Despite this, it is not common knowledge why this information is kept secret. Rumors say that this is to stop competing companies stealing this ingredient and producing it for themselves. This is in fact utter tripe. The truth is far more controversial.

edit Extraction

Soylent Green Ingredient X is usually made from people (notably Asians). The fresh subject is first evaporated using a centrifugal spinny-majig (scientifically known as a left-handed ignition acceptance receptacle or LIAR for short). This device extracts the useful parts of the victim subject, specifically the spleen essence and excess cool. Asians are preferred because they generally are cheap to purchase and have plenty of left over cool. Europeans are also occasionally used provided they meet the United Nations Emission Standards. Americans were trialled and released as a "upgraded" flavor. It was abandoned after the price of American's rose too high.

edit Culmination

In its pure extracted form Ingredient X is useless. It must be first refined for its full potential to be unleashed. Currently this is accomplished most effectively, in one location only. The International Space Station. Only in zero gravity will Ingredient X's molecules reform into its most powerful form.

Once in its true form (with an atomic weight expressible only in complex form), Ingredient X can be freely added to a variety of products to create the clean crisp freshness that we all love. Alternatively it can be mixed with seminal fluid to create a powerful ethnic cleanser peace-keeping device.


edit Legal Concerns

Ask yourself... is it really a crime to make Ingredient X from people? Well first define a person: is an Asian really a person? To alleviate these concerns, those who complain are alleviated of their internal organs. In addition to this, the production is limited to those who fall in to the grinder (see: Mc-Third-World-Children-Who-Fell-Into-A-Blender ) and Asian Farmers. But also you may say: surely the people who fell into the grinder are accidental but are the farmers really expendable?' The answer is yes, pumpkins can come in pink. Does this opinion is stopping you from eating them.. Feeling hungee? you know you wants some, yes Ingredient X.


edit Dangers

Very few know of the dangers associated with Ingredient X. Firstly, those who consume large amounts of it have at least a 20% increase in the probability of spontaneous c majority of Ingredient X has decayed into aombustion of bodily matter occurring. Secondly, many scientists have reason to believe that s far more harmful since not only can cause harm to you, but also to many of those near you. Due to this factor there is a chance that any wIngredient X is not only carcinogenic but actively destructive. From the second you ingest it, Ingredient X, which may or may not have a mind of it's own, actively seeks out your weaker points and does everything in its power to reduce these to rubble (or mush). Lastly, (but far from least) Ingredient X is actually volatile. Scientists estimate its half-life at around a decade, after which consumption becomeho stand near a consumer of Ingredient X may be caught in the nuclear blast occurring only once the substance only known as Ingredient exp^x

edit Conspiracy Theorists

The government of the United States is currently running propaganda campaign after propaganda campaign to convince the public that Ingredient X doesn't exist. Anyone with a positive IQ will know better however. The government is yet to be successful in their attempt to create the illusion of public security.

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