Independent State Of Croatia
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Motto (official): "For Great Chieftain, We Are Ready"
Motto (unofficial): "Hrvatska do Kosova"
|National Anthem: Moja Štikla (My High Heel)|
|Map Of Croatia|
|Government||Faithful, liberal, independent and democratic.|
|President||Ante Pavelić aka Napaljenić (Mr. Horny)|
|Languages||Every language, but never Serbian|
|National Hero||Gianni Versace, Oscar Wilde, George Michael|
|Independence||143 BC from Roman Empire.|
|Currency||Fox, only exchangeable for brandy or captured Serbs|
|Religion||Fashion, Liberal Islam, Popeism|
“I like the way they treat people”
“I enjoyed my time in Jasenovac, NDH. So many fresh and alive victims for free, completely legal. They even praised me as a hero there. ”
Independent State of Croatia, also known as Nezavisna Država Hrvatska or NDH, was a short-lived state established by the Germans during the Second World War. The original idea came from Adolf Hitler himself who was enchanted by Ante Pavelić, the leader of Croatia's rebel forces who were trying to separate Croatia from the rest of Yugoslavia. Pavelić's alter ego dubbed Tante Hildegard quickly drew Hitler's attention during his visit to Croatia so he decided to turn Croatia into a large fashion empire with both creative and industrial workforce. Pavelić was well known in the local political circles for his persona unlike his closest associate, Jure Francetić (better known as Butcher) who was a bit more sophisticated, talking in a more deeper voice and displaying more men-like clothes and behaviour (which later served as an inspiration for the Croatian TV personality Mirna Berend).
Pavelić had a plan to legalize gay marriages in NDH and change the state's name into DDH (Dugina Država Hrvatska which means Rainbow State Croatia) but the straight Jews disagreed, so he sent them to concentration camps, because he was convinced that death and pain would change their mind. Serbians in Croatia were sent to camps too, because Pavelić thought that their clothes were too plain, and not colorful and cheesy as he imagined it.
Pavelić had help from Ustaše (the name comes from ustati-stand up in Croatian and it means that Ustaše were trying to make Croatian people more fashion oriented). Surprisingly, Ustaše's uniforms were pretty much ordinary, only the inside was made of bright pink polyester with a leopard pattern.
Despite their bad reputation, concentration camps in Croatia have a significant role in the history of fashion because their influence is still visible today, as skinny-looking (later known as anorexic ) body was thought to be the most important factor in one's appearance. Modern catwalk shows also draw inspiration from the camp's daily exercise programs and some contemporary supermodels, like Naomi Campbell , still act as past camp supervisors.
Nowadays, NDH and Ustaše are a symbol of Croatian conservatives, and they are trying to bring back the NDH and make it a DDH. They even have a political party called HSP, which stands for Hrvatska Stranka Prava (Croatian Party Of Right) mostly because they are convinced that they are right, and the rest of the Croatia (aprox. 99%) is wrong. They also have the HČSP party, which stands for Hrvatska Čista Stranka Prava (Croatian Clean Party Of Right) mostly because they are convinced that only, and only they are right, and the rest of Croatia (99,99,99%) is wrong. Also, most of their members are allergic to dust.
The party leader is Anto Đapić , but will soon resign due to aesthetic reasons. Some say that his successor will be Mirjana Sanader , the husband of Croatian current prime minister, Ivo Sander. Historically famous fashion activities are still present, and are led by Boris Banović , Marko Grubnić and Neven Ciganović but in a more conventional way than before. Party leaders and supporter usually gather on events such as Cro a Porter or Wella Fashion Week to discuss their next step on how to convert Croatia into DDH again (both Grubić and Banović have published books about it).
During the Croatia's War For Independence, the party decided to take a break from its activities, but it is well known that war criminals Milošević and Tuđman had a sexual relationship. Some sources claim that while sodomizing Milošević in Karađorđevo, Tuđman had also a sexual affair - through the back door so to speak - with the rather unattractive but experienced Alija Izetbegović.
Celebrities In Croatia That Suppor The NDH Idea
Not all NDH supporters are in HSP, some of them are have independent parties, such as Ljubo Česić Royce. Other famous supporters include: Mladen Schwartz, Pero Kovačević, Marijana Petir, Miroslav Škoro, Josip Bozanić, Gabrijela Gabica Gotovac... Some Croatian artist use NDHs legacy but in a more subtle way, such as the rock band Prljavo Kazalište (Dirty Theatre in croatian, actually a bukakke-themed orgy popular during NDH) and the singer Marko Perković who took his stage name Thompson from a primitive, home made anal dildo from the era. However, not all prominent supporters are welcomed by the HSP officials, as the macedonian singer Toše Proeski was murdered for being too straight, according to the official police report.