The Incredible Hulk
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- This puny article refers to fictional character The Incredible Hulk. For puny 1970s television series, see The Incredible Hulk (TV series).
| Article written in the style of its subject|
This article is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are the type who needed this explained to you. If you still do not find the article funny, that is surely because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. The authors sincerely hope that you will pick up your game and laugh without prompting in the future.
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner brilliant nuclear physicist, is shy, puny and introvert individual. He contacted by puny General Ross work on puny Army Gamma Bomb project. Have deep misgivings. Puny Banner agree to work on puny Army program. Puny Gamma Bomb make great strides. Got as far as initial test. Widespread misconception cause puny Dr. Banner to subject puny gamma ray blast during test of puny weapon. He attempt save puny teenager wandering onto puny test site. Perhaps cute, puny little kitten. However, puny Banner go to puny local 7-11 and heat up puny burrito when he subject to massive dose high energy puny gamma radiation from puny, stupid defective can of Red Bull.
Puny Gamma rays trigger latent genes in puny Banner's DNA. As result, release of puny adrenaline, caused by excessive puny emotional stimulation, causes the intelligent but puny Banner to transform into monstrous green beast of subhuman intelligence but superhuman strength: the Incredible Hulk. He since been pursued by puny Dr. Ross, who hopes to turn Hulk into some kind of weapon. Due to dangerous and unpredictable transformations, puny Banner has permanently exiled his puny self from puny society so as to prevent his puny self from harming puny others, he wander alone along puny highways and throughout the puny deserts of the puny American Southwest, endlessly searching to cure puny Banner's puny condition. Hulk been even more difficult to integrate into puny society, although for time he able to find work programming for puny Microshit, where he collaborate with puny Yoda on puny Microsoft Grammar Checker.
edit Puny Dr. Bruce Beaner's Mexican Transformation into the Hulk
Transformation of puny Dr. Beaner into his alter-ego, Incredible Hulk, result from release of adrenaline due to excessive fear or getting pissed off. For instance, puny Banner might get angry if some puny dick threaten him or puny loved one, if puny evil-doer try to take over world, if he has to deal with puny Clippy popping up with his useless and annoying hints while trying to type, or if one of favorite puny TV shows gets cancelled; like when puny Fox cancelled puny Futurama. (Grrrr...) In fact, if puny Banner were even to think back on that, he would get upset about seeing funny, witty and puny show, one with so much potential, cancelled by boneheaded puny Fox executives and then Hulk... you make Hulk angry puny Andrea Berman, you no like Hulk when Hulk angry...(RIP! TEAR!) GNRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!
edit HULK ANGRY!!!!
GNRAAAAAAAH!!!' Puny Fox Network make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Fox network executives! Why Puny Fox Network torment Hulk? Leave Hulk alone! Hulk just want to be alone! And watch antics of puny Bending Unit!
edit Hulk Power
In 1905 Albert Einstein made a figure to calculate the Hulks power. He made the hulk–energy equivalence E equals MC squared.
edit Hulk Puny Hobbies
Hulk have many puny hobbies. Things Hulk like to do:
- Turning into big green guy
- Wandering alone in puny desert
- Wearing large puny purple pants
- Stinking like body odor and smelly feet
- Smashing puny objects
- Loving Ty the Big Guy
- Speaking in third person
- Staring at pretty yet puny ladies while holding them in big, meaty fists
- Kicking your puny pet dog for being too loud
- Running away from puny army even though Hulk could kill puny army with a few punches
- Roaring once Hulk defeated puny enemy, or won on a puny PS3
- Farting on puny army for puny laughs at puny army's puniness
- Throwing things at puny people that Hulk don't like because puny people want to hurt Hulk & make Hulk mad.
edit Change in direction
After 40 years changing in to Hulk, puny Bruce Banner get bored and decide to make change. Starting by wearing puny blue pants, puny Banner invent puny machine that turn Hulk gray and add 1 to total IQ. This make huge difference, so Hulk thought.
edit Teaching Career
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner was not fit for society due to Hulk Smashing and a small puny case of dementia. So, he was asked to teach puny third graders in Alabama, because c'mon let's face it delusional rants and being smashed is the best education for puny people in that state can look forward to their puny kids, right? Anyway, his teaching career lasted 2 hours, because Dr. Puny Bruce Banner had gotten pissed when one of the puny students was chewing puny gum in the class, so he became The Hulk and smashed the living hell out of the puny school/trailer.
edit Hulk Spandex
Common note on Hulk is Hulk's amazing ability to instantly shed all other puny clothes other than pants. Undoubtedly hide truly scary part of Hulk. It was revealed recently that Hulk wear certain kind of spandex to allow for this. Allegedly came at advice of Hulk's puny lawyer, who wanted to avoid Indecent Exposure charges in puny court for Hulk's client. Hulk plan to market spandex to puny military, aware that they will use it against Hulk. Hulk don't care. HULK SMASH THEM ALL!!!
edit Death Of Hulk
The creature's corpse was discovered in New York City on August 29, 2009 along with several other Marvel Heroes murdered by Disney. His funeral was a widely televised event. Surviving Fox and Sony heroes such as Spyder-Man, The Fantastic Four, and the X-Men paid tribute. Bizarro delivered a short and confused eulogy consisting of "Why Hulk not wake up?" Hulk is survived by his parents Frankenstein's Monster and Doctor Jekyll. David Banner is believed to be dead. And he must let the world think that he is dead, until he can find a way to control the raging spirit that dwells within him.