The Incredible Hulk
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- This puny article refers to fictional character The Incredible Hulk. For puny 2003 film based on character, see The Hulk (film). For puny 1970s television series, see The Incredible Hulk (TV series).
 Article written in the style of its subjectThis article is funny because it is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are an ignorant cultural philistine who does not recognise this without explanation. If you still do not find the article funny, that is probably because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. If you hadn't been so ignorant, then you wouldn't have needed to have the joke explained to you in the first place. |
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner brilliant nuclear physicist, is shy, puny and introvert individual. He contacted by puny General Ross work on puny Army Gamma Bomb project. Have deep misgivings. Puny Banner agree to work on puny Army program. Puny Gamma Bomb make great strides. Got as far as initial test. Widespread misconception cause puny Dr. Banner to subject puny gamma ray blast during test of puny weapon. He attempt save puny teenager wandering onto puny test site. Perhaps cute, puny little kitten. However, puny Banner go to puny local 7-11 and heat up puny burrito when he subject to massive dose high energy puny gamma radiation from puny, stupid defective can of Red Bull.
Puny Gamma rays trigger latent genes in puny Banner's DNA. As result, release of puny adrenaline, caused by excessive puny emotional stimulation, causes the intelligent but puny Banner to transform into monstrous green beast of subhuman intelligence but superhuman strength: the Incredible Hulk. He since been pursued by puny Dr. Ross, who hopes to turn Hulk into some kind of weapon. Due to dangerous and unpredictable transformations, puny Banner has permanently exiled his puny self from puny society so as to prevent his puny self from harming puny others, he wander alone along puny highways and throughout the puny deserts of the puny American Southwest, endlessly searching to cure puny Banner's puny condition. Hulk been even more difficult to integrate into puny society, although for time he able to find work programming for puny Microshit, where he collaborate with puny Yoda on puny Microsoft Grammar Checker.
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[edit] Puny Dr. Bruce Beaner's Mexican Transformation into the Hulk
Transformation of puny Dr. Beaner into his alter-ego, Incredible Hulk, result from release of adrenaline due to excessive fear or getting pissed off. For instance, puny Banner might get angry if some puny dick threaten him or puny loved one, if puny evil-doer try to take over world, if he has to deal with puny Clippy popping up with his useless and annoying hints while trying to type, or if one of favorite puny TV shows gets cancelled; like when puny Fox cancelled puny Futurama. (Grrrr...) In fact, if puny Banner were even to think back on that, he would get upset about seeing funny, witty and puny show, one with so much potential, cancelled by boneheaded puny Fox executives and then Hulk... you make Hulk angry puny Andrea Berman, you no like Hulk when Hulk angry...(RIP! TEAR!) GNRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!! The hulk died in 2009 after eating a burito that contained salmonela he was founded dead on the toilet seat with a playboy resting on the floor he was only 29. His funeral was a widely telivised event where A list hero came to say there fell wells. among the list were spider man, squril girl and the entire X men team who payed tribute. there was also great peerformances by jimi henrix despite the handicap of being dead. Also another great singing tribute by stphen hawking singing My Hump by the Black eyed pee's leaving fans of the Hulk in tears
[edit] HULK ANGRY!!!!
GNRAAAAAAAH!!!' Puny Fox Network make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Fox network executives! Why Puny Fox Network torment Hulk? Leave Hulk alone! Hulk just want to be alone! And watch antics of puny Bending Unit!
[edit] Hulk Power
In 1905 Albert Einstein made a figure to calculate the Hulks power. He made the hulk–energy equivalence E equals MC squared.
[edit] Hulk Puny Hobbies
Hulk have many puny hobbies. Things Hulk like to do:
- Turning into big green guy
- Wandering alone in puny desert
- Wearing large puny purple pants
- Stinking like body odor and smelly feet
- Smashing puny objects
- Loving Ty the Big Guy
- Speaking in third person
- Staring at pretty yet puny ladies while holding them in big, meaty fists
- Kicking your puny pet dog for being too loud
- Running away from puny army even though Hulk could kill puny army with a few punches
- Roaring once Hulk defeated puny enemy, or won on a puny PS3
- Farting on puny army for puny laughs at puny army's puniness
[edit] Change in direction
After 40 years changing in to Hulk, puny Bruce Banner get bored and decide to make change. Starting by wearing puny blue pants, puny Banner invent puny machine that turn Hulk gray and add 1 to total IQ. This make huge difference.
[edit] Teaching Career
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner was not fit for society due to Hulk Smashing and a small case of dementia. So, he was asked to teach third graders in Alabama, because c'mon let's face it delusional rants and being smashed is the best education people in that state can look forward to for their kids, right? Anyway, his teaching career lasted 2 hours, because Dr. Puny Bruce Banner had gotten pissed when one of the kids was chewing gum in the class, so he became The Hulk and smashed the living hell out of the school/trailer.
[edit] Puny People Hulk Battle
Hulk battle many puny people over years. Some puny people Hulk battle:
- Puny General Ross. Puny General Ross try to capture Hulk, do puny experiments. Send puny army against Hulk. Puny army make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Army!
- The Puny Leader. Puny Leader mutated by gamma rays, strong and green like Hulk. Puny Leader smarter than Hulk, but Hulk stronger! Puny Leader make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Leader!
- P.M.O.D.O.K. Puny Massive Orgasm Design Only for Koochie. P.M.O.D.O.K. make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH P.M.O.D.O.K.!
- Puny Doctor Doom Puny Doctor Doom puny metal man, try to take over puny world. Puny Doctor Doom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Doctor Doom!
- The Puny Green Giant Puny Green Giant try to make Hulk eat puny vegetables! Plus, Puny Green Giant rip-off of Hulk! Puny vegetables and puny copyright infringement make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Green Giant! Then file puny lawsuit!
- Puny Wolverine. Puny Wolverine make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Wolverine! Then Puny Wolverine cheat by healing. No fair! Puny Wolverine have healing factor like Hulk! Puny Wolverine healing factor make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Wolverine! Puny Wolverine heal again. Make Hulk angry! Etc. Eventually Hulk get bored of smashing puny Wolverine, go hitchhike in puny desert.
- Puny Jack McGee Puny Jack McGee with puny newspaper National Register, try to capture Hulk for puny reward! He use puny tranquilizer gun can kill puny Bruce Banner! News media make Hulk angry! Hulk smash puny Jack McGee!
- Puny Captain Obvious. Puny Captain Obvious stupid! Say puny things everybody already know already! Puny Captain Obvious make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Captain Obvious!
- Puny Hooker Hulk get puny blowjob from puny hooker. Hulk no longer hulk. Puny hooker no swallow. Puny hooker make Hulk angry!!! Hulk SMASH puny hooker!!!
- Kitten. Hulk have kitten. Hulk huff kitten. Kitten scratch furniture. Kitten make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Hulk’s kitten. Hulk now sad. Hulk give puny kitten puny transfusion of Hulk blood with Hulk healing factor, heal kitten! Now Hulk kitten is Kitten Hulk, SMASH puny neighborhood dogs, keep them out of Hulk’s puny flower bed.
- Puny Dr. Scholl. Puny Dr. Scholl stupid! He try make Hulk feet smell good! Puny Scholl fail miserably make big Hulk feet angry! Hulk trap puny Dr. Scholl under feet, make puny Dr. Scholl eyes bleed from stench of stinky Hulk foot odor!
- Puny Oprah. Puny Oprah think she all that, but Hulk think puny Oprah not all that! Puny Oprah make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Oprah! Then Hulk SMASH puny bookclub!
- Puny Batman. Hulk hate puny Batman! Puny Batman... uhh, actually, Hulk like not-so-puny Adam West Batman. But Hulk SMASH other puny Batmans!
- Puny Jack Thompson. Puny Jack Thompson try to sue Hulk! Puny Jack Thompson gay lawyer trying to sue everything! Hulk SMASH Jack Thompson!
- Puny Chris Benoit.Puny Benoit?! Hulk SMASH puny Benoit! Hulk not hate all WWE, only puny Benoit...puny Benoit?! Hulk now remember! Hulk need to SMASH puny Benoit!
- Puny Ronald McDonald. Stupid puny clown! puny Ronald try to turn Hulk fat, but Hulk not that stupid. Puny Ronald McDonald make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Ronald McDonald! Then SMASH puny Ronald McDonald's puny McMeals!
- Puny Shrek. Puny Shrek Hulk's cousin, puny Shrek green and large like Hulk but puny Shrek stupid, love puny donkeys. Also puny Shrek have puny princess wife, make Hulk angry and jealous. Stupidness, puny donkeys and puny princesses make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Shrek! But puny Shrek family...puny family make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny family!
- Puny Superman. Puny Superman beats Hulk!? Puny Superman makes Hulk pissed off! Puny Superman try to screw up Hulk's powers every ten seconds! Hulk SMASH puny Superman for defending and beating Hulk's friends! Stupid puny Superman! Graaaaarr!
- Puny Wario. Puny Wario fat greedy short man! Puny Wario steal Hulk's dollar! Puny Wario make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Wario!
- Puny Sonic. Puny Sonic blue spiky hedgehog! Puny Sonic faster than Hulk, but Hulk Stronger! Puny Sonic also get into puny Brawl! No one called Hulk to ask if Hulk wanted to be in puny Brawl! Puny Sonic make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Sonic!
- Angry Video Game Nerd puny impersonators. Puny Angry Video Game Nerd impersonators make Hulk angry! Hulk like not-puny Angry Video Game Nerd's pissed off videos on punniest, shittiest games! Puny AVGN impersonators try to rant over punniest, shittest games ever! Hulk HATE Puny AVGN impersonators! Hulk SMASH puny Angry Video Game Nerd impersonators! Then Hulk SMASH puny Irategamer many times!
- Puny Hulk Hogan. Puny Hulk Hogan wrestler, puny Hulk Hogan has same name like Hulk! Puny Hulk Hogan make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Hulk Hogan for copyright infringement!
- Puny Terminator. Puny Terminator metal robot! Puny Terminator want to terminate Hulk. Puny Terminator make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Terminator! Puny Terminator come back, make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Terminator. Puny Terminator come back again, make Hulk angry! Etc. Hulk get bored from smashing puny Terminator and go play puny hockey.
- Puny Kool-Aid Man. Puny Kool-Aid Man giant pitch! Puny Kool-Aid Man crash into puny wall of Hulk's puny house! Puny Kool-Aid Man make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Kool-Aid Man!
- Puny Peter Griffin. Puny Peter Griffin not-funny rip-off of Homer Simpson! Hulk like Homer Simpson. Puny Peter Griffin not even funny. Hulk HATE puny Peter Griffin! Puny Peter Griffin make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny fat Peter Griffin!
- Hulk's puny mom. Hulk's puny mom scold Hulk for messing Hulk's room. Hulk's puny mom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Hulk's puny mom! Then Hulk's puny dad come home, SMASH Hulk for smashing Hulk's puny dad's puny wife! Now Hulk grounded!
- Puny Viacom. Puny Viacom claim Hulk's original video, Hulk work very hard on video. Puny Viacom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Viacom!
- Puny Thor. Puny Thor big puny man with big puny hammer. Puny Thor say Hulk an imbecile brute. Hulk not understand what puny Thor say, puny Thor make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Thor! Learn to talk good like Hulk talk, puny blonde man!
- Puny Pizza Man. Hulk hungry. Hulk order puny pizza. Puny Pizza man late! Not put puny anchovies on Hulk's puny pizza?! Puny Pizza Man make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Pizza Man! Then eat free yet puny pizza. No leave tip either.
- Puny Tourney Tard. Puny Tourney Tard play with Hulk on puny Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but puny Tourney Tard force Hulk only play with no puny items, puny Fox only, puny final destination. Hulk want to use Bowser, Bowser big and strong like Hulk, (but still not strong as Hulk. Bowser still puny turtle dragon thing.) but puny Toruney Tard tell Hulk Bowser puny bottom tier character. Playing specific rule set only make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Tourney Tard! Puny Tiers are for puny queers! Then hit puny Tourney Tard with puny Wiimote. Than Hulk strangle Tard with puny numchuck wire.
- Puny Chuck Norris. Hulk SMASH puny Chuck Norris because Hulk can! Puny Chuck Norris is overrated pussy!
- Puny Eddie Van Halen. Hulk take puny, whiny bitch's puny guitar and SMASH puny Eddie's puny head in with it! Play puny guitar now, washed-up rocker!
[edit] Puny People Hulk Like
Hulk not battle some puny people, Hulk like some puny people, some puny people Hulk's puny friends. Some Puny People Hulk Like:
- Puny Betty Ross. Puny Betty. Hulk love puny Betty, puny Betty teach Hulk everything Hulk know. Hulk want to marry puny Betty.
- Puny Jennifer Walters. Puny Jennifer Hulk's cousin. Puny Doctor Doom kidnap puny Jennifer, hurt puny Jennifer. Puny Doctor Doom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Doctor Doom. Puny Jennifer hurt, Hulk sad. Hulk give puny Jennifer puny transfusion of Hulk blood with Hulk healing factor, heal puny Jennifer! Now puny Jennifer not-so-puny She-Hulk, help Hulk, SMASH puny people with Hulk!
- Puny Homer Simpson. Hulk watch puny Simpsons with puny Betty, Hulk big fan. Puny Homer Simpson do stupid things, make Hulk laugh!
- Mr. T. Mr. T helluva tough. Tell Hulk drink milk and eat greens, make Hulk stronger. Mr. T loves puny children just like Hulk. Hulk PITTY a puny fool just like Mr.T!
- Puny Raymond. Everybody loves puny Raymond, Hulk too.
- Lou Ferrigno. Hulk like Lou for playing Hulk. Lou play Hulk three times. Hulk and Lou Ferrigno SMASH Kenneth Johnson for making Hulk puny on old Hulk show in 70's/
- Bruce Campbell. Hulk like Bruce Campbell movies like Evil Dead. Bruce strong and tough like Hulk. Bruce also funny and cool. Bruce have perfect chin. Hulk hope someday Hulk can touch it...
- TANK He gets on very well with the puny tank from puny left 4 dead. There is even rumours of a gay relationship.
- Your puny Mom.
[edit] Hulk Spandex
Common note on Hulk is Hulk's amazing ability to instantly shed all other puny clothes other than pants. Undoubtedly hide truly scary part of Hulk. It was revealed recently that Hulk wear certain kind of spandex to allow for this. Allegedly came at advice of Hulk's puny lawyer, who wanted to avoid Indecent Exposure charges in puny court for Hulk's client. Hulk plan to market spandex to puny military, aware that they will use it against Hulk. Hulk don't care. HULK SMASH THEM ALL!!!
[edit] Pink Hulk
Bruce got pink one day he could only see pink kryptonite and voila the pink hulk.
[edit] Death Of Hulk
Hulk was found dead in New York City on August 29, 2009. Because he died on the same day as several other Marvel Heroes were murdered by the Cult of Disney, he was killed by Robin 'The Fox' Hood who shot an arrow through his head will he was still Bruce Banner.
His funeral is planned to be a widely televised event. Surviving Heroes such as Hawkeye, The Falcon, squirrel girl, and the X-men plan to pay tribute.
