Nick's found a baby llama in Farmville- Maybe he should look for a girlfriend instead.
21 June
University-of-Georgia@Tblisi.ga
MBA Masters Degree at low $$$ in Southern Caucasus- Study from home, or not at all. Just send $$$
21 June
Busty_McBoobs@Slutweb.de
Hundreds of hot girls in your area need sex now!- Just not with you
21 June
Facebook
One of your friends has answered a question about you!- You really don't want to know what they said
21 Jun
Sharky@Hammerhead_Loans.com
Maxxed out all your credit cards?- Consolidate your repayments into one easy monthly beating...
20 Jun
WeeWee@TS.com
Ladyboys: reduce your clitoris by as much as 99% in seconds- Guaranteed or your penis back
20 Jun
Mindy@good-times-good-prices.co.uk
We met at Hooters- My boss and my gynaecologist say I have to call everyone I "worked" with.
20 Jun
Link.strand@Time_disipation.com
Hate chain-emails as much as me?- Never receive another. Just send this message to 5 of your friends.
20 Jun
Swiftly.stiff@Erectile_dysfunction.net
Need Viagra or Cialis?- Why not just get a better-looking girlfriend?
19 Jun
Marvin.Martian@Alienweb.com
Left a message at Stonehenge for you ages ago- Why do you guys never return my calls?
19 Jun
Kate.Hoy@Thaibrides.sex
Lonely? Discount Thai brides available- Now with or without cock!
18 Jun
no-reply@God.org
Your non-attendance at Church- has been duly noted for future reference
18 Jun
StumbleUpon
Enjoy your weekly recommendations from StumbleUpon!- As if you don't waste enough of your workday already...
18 Jun
Winnie The Pooh Internet Forum
New Password Confirmation, Again- Stop forgetting your password. Your new password is Dje5HEzq@*!3plQ89...
18 Jun
info@pl.org
Want a larger penis?- With our weight-loss programme you can add an extra ten inches to your member.
18 Jun
Jenny Elizabeth
Re:Re:Re:Re:Hey- OMG!!! so gross! never email me again plz asssshole!!!
18 Jun
Jenny Elizabeth
Re:Re:Hey- i love baby goats!! of course i'd love to see ur goat!
18 Jun
Jenny Elizabeth
Hey- jenny from the favorite pets chatroom! a/s/l??
18 Jun
sirfranklin@ebay.co.uk
Fancy the old vibrating egg, chap?- Worked bloody wonders when the Madame Franklin went on holiday
17 Jun
Sarah.smith@gooog.le.xx.com
WARNING your computer is infected- There's nothing you can do about it now, might as well go on a porn binge.
17 Jun
FrankyP@me.com
Thanks for the Mrs- You're right, her tits were nice. I remember the deal. Listen, give me a few days to discuss it with my...
15 Jun
Tedatthefbi@fbiiswatchingyou.gov
Bribe money- For what you're getting away with, it isn't enough. We want double or your ass is going to...
15 Jun
yeaharborday@hotmail.com
great arbor day deals!- Mother Nature is going out of business! Buy one get one tree!
15 Jun
Welsh Tsunami Appeal
Help the poor victims of the Welsh tsunami.- Click to donate £5 now!
14 Jun
CANUX@docterfrawd.com
REPUTIBLE CANNADIAN FARMACY.YOUR VAIGRA ORDA IS REEDY.- We are loading YOUR truck now!
14 Jun
DarthV@TheEmpire.gov
I, am your father!- Search your feelings... Sorry to have to break it to you in an email...
14 Jun
MarthaGreen444@Gmail.com
This is the authorities- You have been charged with the murder of Martha Green. Do not try to leave the country...
14 Jun
AwesomeDude@Verizon.net
I'm better than you.- Just so you know.
9 Jun
spam@spam.spam
SPAM MAIL- Thanks for subscribing to Spam Mail, your weekly supplement for everybody's favourite processed meat.
9 Jun
MarthaGreen444@Gmail.com
Oh my God.- What have you done with my dog? WHERE IS HE!?
8 Jun
publishersclearinghousepossibly@mail.com
You won a shitload of money!- Like probably 10 million or something. We aren't lying!
7 Jun
hitlercockbot@hotsytotsynazis.net
Welcome to the Nazi self fellatio forums!- Hitler didn't "rise" to power without sucking his own
7 Jun
MarthaGreen444@Gmail.com
No, really.- Stop emailing me. You're really creeping me out.
7 Jun
YouTube
ThdudeTV has posted a comment on your profile:- Hey dude, go get a life and stop annoying everyone...
7 Jun
Your boss
Johnson!- Stop checking your emails and get back to work!
6 Jun
Nigerianprinceabu@scamnet.org
Re: Re: This is the Nigerian Prince Abu- Sorry, I didn't get the last three digits of your bank account. What were they again?
6 Jun
MarthaGreen444@Gmail.com
Um...- Could you please stop emailing me? You're starting to creep me out with that whole "I'm watching you" thing.
6 Jun
theshamwowguy@gmail.com
It's like a shammy, but more expensive!- Did you know I raped a chick?
6 Jun
Mum
Re: for you- I'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me... you dirty boy
6 Jun
Mark@hotcheesefactory.com
Re: A Request- But why do you want hot cheese poured into your backyard?
6 Jun
The Online Doctor
Your test results are in- I'm afraid you have a severe internet addiction that no conventional medicine will...
6 Jun
esmerelda daviss
amplify your penis now!- attach a megaphone
5 Jun
bot@onlinecasino777.com
our online casinoes will LET YOU WIN!- sign up now for just $99.75
5 Jun
Work-from-home@jobs.com
Want to earn $$$?- That's right, three whole dollars!
4 Jun
enlargements@bigboy.net
Is your penis too small?- Haha, your penis is too small.
4 Jun
Steven_spielberg@aol.com
Re: my movie script- quit emailing me.
4 Jun
Staff@weightwatchers.com
Lose weight now!- Amputate your legs!
4 Jun
giftwrap@kiddylove.com
cheap deals on gifts this valentine's day- children's toys half price
4 Jun
buyrocks@rocks.com
affordable rocks- for the rock purchaser in all of us
4 Jun
SeaMonkeys@homezoo.com
Not your father's sea monkeys- Ours actually have fur and live for two days or your money back (no money back).
3 Jun
Dr. Frederick Mugabe
CUMSHOT TITS XXX XL-DOUBLE-D DOWN ON THE DIRTY DRAWERS- FREE CASH FOR WATCHING RARE MOTHER-AUN...
3 Jun
eBay
Your item has been dispatched- Order number 554680 - Product description: vibrating egg, size "large", colour "coral"
3 Jun
lesbianblogger@tartan.org
Has your identity been stolen?- I am a bearded American in Damascus. I need an urgent shave to escape.
3 Jun
Lotto@jackpotlottery.com
You've won a million dollars!- Nah, just fucking with you.
3 Jun
Radiohead Mailing List
Radiohead has a new album- You haven't downloaded it yet. You didn't download the last one either. Why doesn't anyone like us anymore!?
2 Jun
Nawtymistress@hottymail.com
While your wife is out- Come over to my place. I've got a new whip, a quarter-horse saddle (fit for a quarter-man like you), and that shaved goat we talked about.
2 Jun
George@freevacations.com
New Offer! Free Trip to Angola!- How would you like to go to a country that nobody goes to? FREE! (Does not include plane ride, or hotels. Plane ride and hotels combined cost $ 250.00)
2 Jun
loveseekers@love.com
Find Your Perfect Partner at LOVE SEEKERS- Or just masturbate over the profile pictures. Either way it's win-win
2 Jun
urbananimals@mouser.com
Squirrels! We've got 'em!- You need some?
31 May
(Me)
Don't forget:- check your email!
31 May
admin.messenger@Hotmail.com
Welcome!- Welcome to Hotmail, although we would love you to enjoy sending emails, please refrain from adding "spammers" to your contacts.
This article has been nominated for highlighting on the front page—you can vote for it or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH. Please see this article's entry.
Nominated Article
