Imagine (song)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
"Imagine"
JohnlennonImagine.jpg
Single by John Lennon
from the album Imagine
B-side "It's So Hard (and so BIG!)" (US)
'"Whoring Class Hero" (UK)
Released 11 October 1971 (US)
24 October 1975 (UK)
Format 5 1⁄4" floppy
Recorded at yo' mamma's house
Genre Boulder
Length Around 3:00 too long
Label Apricot Records
Writer(s) John 'Juan' Lennon
Producer John Lennon, Yoko Ono, Phil Spector

"Imagine" is a pseudo-pop song written and sung by the English musician, John Lennon. A combination of both hippie AND communist themes, cleverly hide the extreme Anarchist undertone of the lyrics. Churches world-wide have shunned the song; some of the more liberal churches of Mid-Southwest America have burned records. Followers of Antidisestablishmentarianism have advocated the song, citing, this song speaks of the sort of thing we’d stand for, if we knew what it was that we stood for

edit Lyrical Commentary

edit Introduction

The first time I heard this song was in 1995. My mother was drinking herself into a stupor having a cup of tea in the kitchen and dad was out banging his secretary mowing the lawn. I was upstairs masturbating playing my Nintendo. The song came on the radio and I climaxed paused my game. This song irritated me from the the very opening line. The following review will be a line-by-line commentary on the lyrical content.

edit Body

Imagine there's no heaven, It's easy if you try.’’

So, you start the song with a wide sweep of insulting the beliefs of most of the major religions of the world. Way to go man; You just alienated 80%[1] of the population.

No hell below us’’

And just in case the devil worshipers thought, gee this song is great, nope, you’ve told them they’re wrong too… Well, this will end well! Disillusioned satanists are my sort of people....

Above us only sky’’

Well, that’s clearly wrong, there’s a whole heap of stuff up there – clouds, stars, birds, planes, superman. Maybe you’ve had a bit too much of the wacky-tobacky, mate.

Imagine all the people living for today’’

You mean, as not-stoned? The majority of the worlds population live in today.[2] Some scientists are currently working on technology that we can live in the future, and still return home for dinner each night, but this is still in development, and also completely off topic.

Imagine there's no countries,It isn't hard to do

Yeah sure, the power hungry madmen governments are going to be completely fine with that..... And what are those poor politicians going to do with themselves now? With no one to give them tax-cuts and no reason to shake hands infront of cameras, they'll surely wallow themselves into a pit of penniless depression and drink themselves to death. Maybe that's not a bad thing after all?
Anyway, people like to belong to groups, so if you remove the countries, people will just band together in other groups, and kill each other in the name of <whatever> instead. It just won't work.

Nothing to kill or die for

Wait, you didn't mention sports! Sports are worth killing and dieing for! This is SPARTAAAAAA!!!!!

And no religion too

Look, the problem is there are a lot of loonies in these religions, and the only thing stopping them from going completely troppo on the world around them is the dogmatic law of the inane sect they're currently wrapped up in. In other words, lions have a right to exist in the wilderness, but why would you say "let's release a heap of them in Times square?"

Imagine all the people living life in peace

Ewww..... Wouldn't they get all gross and sludgy? And I hate the colour green...... Oh wait, you said peace, not peas. My Bad.

You, you may say I'm a dreamer

Dreams are cool, but they're done in bed, with pillows and other protective padding. Following your dreams is crazy, man. Do you have any idea how dangerous gnomes with machine-guns are?! They stay in my dreams for a reason!

but I'm not the only one

Ah Crap, you mean there’s more of you crazies!?!?

I hope some day you'll join us

Optimism. It doesn't look good on you. Get a haircut (and get a real job).

And the world will be as one

Oh, you're one of those people who beleive that the Earth exploded at one stage, and came back together, and that's why we have the tectonic plates? Putting it back together is a grand dream, man...... Bah, Stoners.

Imagine no possessions, I wonder if you can

If that’s the case, you don’t own this song! Awesome. No copyright infringement possible!

No need for greed or hunger’’

What are you going to eat? Peas? Peace?

A brotherhood of man’’

If you were trying to convince me that you weren't advocating some sort of cult, you lost me with the word "brotherhood".

Imagine all the people sharing all the world’’

Imagine this scenario.....
Person 1 : A piece for you, a piece for me. A piece, for you, a piece for me.
Person 2 : Your piece is bigger.
Person 1 : That's because the first piece I gave you was bigger than my first piece.
Person 2 : Bullshit!
Person 1 : Care to step outside?
Person 2 : Ok.
Person 1 : *BIFF*
Person 2 : *ZONK*
See the Problem? People like to argue.

You, you may say I'm a dreamer

Look, we’ve established this; having dreams is quite different to just being bat-shit insane. No one wants in on your crazy neo-commie world domination plot.

But I'm not the only one

Hey you know what, if I got "peas" and "peace" mixed up, maybe what you meant to say here was I'm not the only Juan (Juan is another name for John, yes? Juan Lennon.) So, you're not the only Juan huh? Well, there Seems to be many very questionable characters with the name Juan, so I'm going to include you with them. It makes more sense than thinking that there's more than one of you nutjobs out there.

I hope some day you'll join us

Give it up already. I'm a lost cause. I want no part of your insanity. (I've got my own version anyway)

And the world will live as one

Live as Juan? Are you going to force people to grow that mustache as well, to complete the experience?

edit Conclusion

Look, the guy's obviously a wacko.


edit Footnotes

  1. 80% was a completely made up figure, but in an odd coincidence, this webpage seems to back me up.
  2. We call it the present, because it's a gift, the sort of terrible gift you receive from the weird aunt who doesn't really know you and you get something like a windup choo-choo train, or a diary.

Personal tools
projects