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Igor want to retire. Igor want to sit around all day and watch reruns of [[The Munsters]]. Igor like Herman. Herman funny, and look familiar somehow.
Igor want to retire. Igor want to sit around all day and watch reruns of [[The Munsters]]. Igor like Herman. Herman funny, and look familiar somehow.
{{VFH|Igor (Strike 2)}}

Revision as of 14:15, December 10, 2008

Igor Smith serve as loyal minion to 127 mad scientists so far. Igor world-renowned for lab assistant position. Igor participate in many bold plans for betterment of human species. But Igor humble soul.

Earliest Years


Igor happy to serve. You want Igor serve you?

Igor born in small town in Transylvania. Igor always have swollen eye. As child, Igor's eye get laughed at. Igor not like this. One day Igor accidentally spill nitric acid in bully's face. Bully not laughing much any more, ha ha. Bully not got much of a face any more. Now Igor prettier than bully. This why Igor type "ha ha." Igor get nostalgic.

Earlier Years

Igor forced into corporate world by stubborn parents at age 15. Igor find job as veterinary assistant, but Igor frighten three animals into comas. Igor worried for job, but Igor highly praised. Comatose animals easier to operate on. Igor work long time, until caught eating patient. Igor think funny (and tasty), but veterinarian disagree. Veterinarian not disagree with alligator Igor feed him to. Igor sad to leave first job. So sad Igor can hardly bring himself to sell veterinarian's Rolex watch on ebay. But Igor does anyway.

Igor find himself on street, jobless and homeless. Jeered at by passersby. Igor not mind. Not really. Igor stay calm. Imagine repeatedly stabbing passersby in neck. This make Igor calm.

Early Years

Igor probably be dead from cold but for first mad scientist. Mad scientist called Dr. Ted Fury. Igor like name. Scientist hire Igor as secretary of potions. Fury try to conquer world with special sleep potion. Igor help much. Igor mix potions, Igor bring refreshments, Igor answer telephone and file income tax forms. Fury very good to Igor, and Igor serve well. Igor not sure why Igor bash Fury's head in with brick while Fury asleep. It just one of those things, you know? Igor admit, Fury's brain taste good, but Igor also unemployed again, which make Igor sad. Igor leave Fury residence with heavy heart and heavier high-definition TV. Igor's back still ache at memory.

Less Early Years

Marty brain5 76

Igor always know where to lay hands on brain

Igor once work for great Doctor Frankenstein. Igor like Frankenstein. Frankenstein funny man. Frankenstein always playing pranks on Igor. "Hey Igor, what that on your shirt? Doink! Ha ha!" Frankenstein always doing things like that. One day Igor have idea for own prank. Frankenstein ask for brain for patient, so Igor give Frankenstein "abnormal" brain instead of "normal" brain. Ha ha! Igor so funny. Igor sad to see bad brained monster kill Frankenstein. Igor cry long time. Igor barely able to muster enough strength to carry Frankenstein's laptop computer to pawn shop.

Not Very Early Years

Igor's next boss named Filbert the Great. Igor not sure why Filbert call himself that. Igor not on same wavelength as Filbert. Igor try to please. Igor say, "Yes, master." Igor say, "Whatever you say, master." But Igor really think master could get himself own damned orange juice. Sometimes Igor want to do bad things, but then Igor swallow happy pills. Then Igor okay for while.

Filbert the Great work on master plan of satellite hypnosis, where everyone in world do as he command. Igor not sure why Filbert want this, but Igor assist with speed. Then one day Filbert make flippant remark about Igor's mother. It true that Igor's mother not pretty. It even true that Igor's mother resemble horse. But it not right for boss to say that. Igor not say anything. But later that night, Igor accidentally lock Filbert in safe. Then Igor accidentally spill gasoline on floor, and accidentally light and drop match. Igor leave hurriedly and watch lair melt into puddle from distance. Igor not happy, but Igor accidentally grin anyway. Igor keep Filbert's Playstation 3 in memory of Filbert.


Igor admire The Munsters. Igor wish Igor were Munster.

Hardly Early Years

Igor work for many scientists and all mad. All dead now, too. Igor not sure if it his fault or destiny. Igor not want to become mad scientist to find out. But Igor's resumé beginning to look suspicious. Igor not know why Igor does these things. Igor like mad scientists. Igor not mean to kill mad scientists. Igor just want to caress mad scientists with sharp metal objects. Is form of affection. Igor just misunderstood.

Least Early Years

Igor want to retire. Igor want to sit around all day and watch reruns of The Munsters. Igor like Herman. Herman funny, and look familiar somehow.

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