Idiotic Table of the Elements

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::The elements of the Active Cheeses are known for their property of readily bonding with other substances, such as [[hamburger]], [[broccoli]], and [[pizza]].
 
::The elements of the Active Cheeses are known for their property of readily bonding with other substances, such as [[hamburger]], [[broccoli]], and [[pizza]].
 
* '''Filler Materials'''
 
* '''Filler Materials'''
::Substances which don't appear to conform to any given pattern are classified as Filler and stuffed in the middle of the table. Their uses and properties are largely unknown: for example, nobody is entirely sure what [[Minnesota]] is ''for''...
+
::Substances which don't appear to conform to any given pattern are classified as Filler and stuffed in the middle of the table or shoved to the side. Their uses and properties are largely unknown: for example, nobody is entirely sure what [[Minnesota]] is ''for''...
 
* '''Alcohols'''
 
* '''Alcohols'''
 
::The Alcohols are known to cause increased levels of ambient Assium, and have been known to cause increases in Dissinum.
 
::The Alcohols are known to cause increased levels of ambient Assium, and have been known to cause increases in Dissinum.

Revision as of 21:03, June 2, 2005

Cheesium
An atom of Cheesium.

The Idiotic Table of the Elements is a listing of all the basic building blocks of matter. Certain columns of the table represent groups, or families of elements.

Families

  • Allergens
The Allergens, sometimes called the Flowergens, are emitted by flowers, and react readily with the human nasal system, in both pleasing and unpleasing ways.
  • Active Cheeses
The elements of the Active Cheeses are known for their property of readily bonding with other substances, such as hamburger, broccoli, and pizza.
  • Filler Materials
Substances which don't appear to conform to any given pattern are classified as Filler and stuffed in the middle of the table or shoved to the side. Their uses and properties are largely unknown: for example, nobody is entirely sure what Minnesota is for...
  • Alcohols
The Alcohols are known to cause increased levels of ambient Assium, and have been known to cause increases in Dissinum.
  • Innate Abilities
These elements are emitted by the brain during the use of psychic powers. Innate Abilities sometimes manifest in the presence of Tempertantrum and Hissifittium.
The Fetishides are inert, mainly because the other elements will not interact with them directly. However, Fetishides have been known to manifest in the presence of members of the Alcohols family.

History

The Idiotic Table itself was first started by Greek scientist Idiocrates in 1430 B.C.E. The early table was much simpler, and only contained four elements: Flaemon, Wettium, Windon, and Dirtium. Eventually, the table was expanded as it was discovered that each of these 'elements' were actually made from others.

By 1800 C.E., the Idiotic Table of the Elements contained over 70 elements. However, new elements were yet to be discovered, and are, indeed, still being discovered. In 2004, an element known as Unobtainium was discovered, and put to use in a machine that could drill to The Core of the Earth.

The Idiotic Table of the Elements

Allergens
Active Cheeses
Filler Materials
Alcohols
More Filler Materials
Innate Abilities
Fetishides
H
Hydrangea
He
Hentaium
Ge
Geranium
Ch
Cheesium
B
Beeron
C
Crampon
N
Nitro
O
Oxycotin
F
Forcium
Ne
Necrophilium
Cy
Chrysanthemum
Na
Nachosium
Tq
Tequilium
Si
Silicone
P
Potatium
S
Shittium
Cl
Clarvoyancium
An
Analium
Tu
Tulipnum
Ca
Cheddarium
Sc
Scorcesium
Ti
Tittium
V
Vaginon
Cr
Cromagnon
Mn
Minnesota
Pn
Phonicium
Pi
Magnum
Ni
Nipplium
Cu
Cucumberon
Zi
Zig
Vk
Vodkum
Gi
Gilligan
As
Assium
Se
Serbia
Tk
Telekenisium
Bd
Bondagium
Ir
Irus
Co
Colbium
Y
Yattayattium
Zr
Zerowingon
Nb
Noobion
Mo
Moelarricurlium
Tc
Tufcookium
Ru
Rubber
Rh
Rhodesia
Pd
Copper
Ag
Agamemnon
Cd
Codependium
Gn
Gin
Sn
Snobbium
Sb
Submarino
Te
Tempertantrum
Gy
Gaydar
Ph
Pedophillium
Da
Daisium
Mz
Mozzerellium
Lu
Lunitunium
Hf
Halfassnium
Ta
Tampon
Wtf
Watthefukium
Re
Retardium
Os
Oscarwildeum
Ip
Internetum
Pt
Barnum
Au
Augidogium
Hg
Hughheffnerium
Cm
Captainmorganrum
Pb
Peanutbutterum
R!
Rubioium
Po
Popium
Lv
Levitatum
Bt
Beastialum
Ma
Marigoldium
Pa
Parmeseanum
Lr
Lordbyronium
Rf
Rufium
Db
Doobium
Sg
Saggitarium
Bh
Bedpahnum
Hs
Hissifittium
Mt
Mountaindewdium
Ds
Dissinum
Rg
Rugbium
Un
Unobtainium
Es
Eleventysevenium
Cg
Chewinggumium

Vegemites and Collegiates

Ce
Celerium
Pr
Parslium
Nd
Notredamium
Pm
Plumium
Sm
Stadium
Eiu
Eastillinosium
Cc
Coconuton
Tp
Turnipium
Dk
Dukeum

Asinines

Ro
Rogium
Py
Pantium
Lm
Linoleum
Gu
Glueon
Dt
Ductapium
Fi
Fishium
Ft
Fortwum
Kh
Kittenhufnium
Superman
Krypton
Fu
Fukudium
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