I do what I wanna do
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
|Hey, shithead! Clean up this damn room! I'ma go down to the slut camp. This shit better be clean when I get back! If it ain't, you're gonna take a trip down the stairs again, you hear me you little prick?|
|I beg your pardon?|
|That's what I thought. Now clean this shit up before I start getting violent.|
Oh, that's just my dad. When I talk shit, he gets mad. I took his .44 magnum. I'm going to take it to school later on this week. Then, I'm gonna let niggas catch lead and see how they like having assholes for faces.
edit I think my teacher's on the rag
Whenever I'm in class, all that bitch does is just nag.
"This Guy, do that! No dipshit, do this!"
That's part of the reason I like to skip school. Then I go to the train tracks and smoke weed or pop E. After that, I go to the mall. Usually I go to Krystal's first, though. When I get there, I smack all the girls on their asses. I don't care if they're good looking. Hell, the uglier the better, cause then the ugly girls think I like them or something. Then, I get to educated the stupid bitches on how fucking ugly they are, and I was only attracted to the hot girl standing next to them. Most of the time, they start crying. The hot ones usually like that shit though.
Then, once I'm done there, I go to the nearby Best Buy. When I'm there, I act like I'm actually going to buy stuff. I get a few games and DVDs, go and stand in line like I'm going to buy them, all that shit. Then, right when it's my turn to have stuff rung up, I make a dash to the door. It's like an extreme sport. I swear. I love the adrenaline rush. You should do it sometime. Last time I did though, I tripped and smashed everything. They were telling me I had to pay for the stuff I broke, but then I threatened to sue them because I was injured.
Threatening legal litigation always works.
edit I hate my dad
I like drinking his beer when he's not here. I drink on the back of the porch and break shit. Did I mention I get fucked up? I aint afraid of his punk ass either. A couple of weeks ago, I broke all the windows in his car and ripped his ignition. I went and drove it straight into the ditch in front of our house. I think I even shit in the back seat.
What? It was fun. Like I said before, I do whatever I want to. You can't stop me! I'm the best! Fuck what you tell me to do! I don't have to listen to shit you be sayin! I do what I fucking want to do! Even your mom. Speaking of moms...
edit My mom is a dirty whore
My dad has caught her cheating twice (in the last week) Then, she claims she thought it was him she was fucking. Somehow, I ended up getting blamed for it. She always tells me I should go to school. Yes, the same fucking school that she dropped out of twenty some odd years ago. Oh, but the bitch wants me to go! What the fuck is up with that? Hypocritical bitch...
She beats me with a broom whenever I break the rules. Yes, a broom. I'm not making this shit up. "Love thy parents" my ass. You know who the fuck made that up? Moses. His kids hated him, too. What? You didn't know he had children? Yeah. He had about 20 of them. And they all hated him. That's why he made up that whole lie about God giving him those stone tablets. He must've been stoned when he was writing those. The first five books of the Bible were just vanity. They really were.
Damn, I just wanna kill them and hide the bodies where nobody will ever find them. I'm 16 and I still have an 8 o'clock curfew, for-Fuckssakes!
edit What the fuck?!?
Serious. What in hell?!? I'm SIX-FUCKING-TEEN!!! I should be out fucking sluts, jumping shit with my car and getting wasted with a posse! I shouldn't be watching ancient Jimmy Stewart movies on TCM! Actually, I'm done.