I Wanna Be the Guy

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about I Wanna Be the Guy.
IWBTG1

CAN YOU BEAT THIS?????

I Wanna Be The Guy: The Movie: The Game, also known as The Game, is a video game based on the Japanese fuck-up Owata jinsen no daibugen. It is created by Kayin, who Saw the game and thinks he can outdo it. Obviously he did it too sucessfully, and thus created a huge pile of fuckup consisted of raining killer apples, spike floors, and tedious references from retro games such as metroid and megaman.

edit Gameplay and plot

edit plot

There is no plot. The only plot is you run into a trap and die.

edit Gameplay

Iwbtg2

one of the more obvious ways to die.

Iwbtg3

What possibly gone wrong? I am just picking a sword in legend of zelda!

Gameplay can mostly be summed up as SCREWEDUP. You are controlling the kid, a small character which is smaller than everything in this game and dies in one hit. Everything in this game is an attempt to kill you, in which includes apple-like cherries, spikes, swords, link, spikes walls, zombies, falcons, couches, security turrets, mother brain, Mike Tyson, bowser, dracula, and even your father, the guy. It's just a huge pile of killers into one, and they are placed in a manner that it is considered to be unfair at least and death torture at worst. Most of the levels, contrary to popular belief, is not designed by kayin. instead, it is designed by Satan in order to control gamers and make them insane due to sheer insanity that the game brings. Due to this some insane gaming fanatics believe IWBTG is the game itself.

edit Bosses

The bosses in i wanna be the guy are one of the most broken shit in the game, and just like a megaman game you have to collect the 6 items in order to reach the guy's fortress. And each item is defended by a boss. These bosses are the following:

  • Mike Tyson;One of the most broken bosses in video gaming history, Mike tyson returns in this Rapefest known as i wanna be the guy.You must knock him down 3 times in order to defeat him just like in punch-out, but this time he's 1000 times bigger than you. His attack is to steal your bike, then proceed to pwn you with his fists,eventually he clenchs his fists and laughing like a EDiot after he has pwnt you as you see in terror that you had beaten him 1000 times and you can't even survive the first round.
  • Mecha Birdo; The most pathethic of the 6 intinal bosses, he likes to shoot missiles which you can ride on. Beware, these missiles can go offscreen and when you go offscreen, you die. These missiles eventually run at the speed of a cheetah on a skateboard and you will be carried offscreen. And it is impossible to find his weakness.
DraculaWaddleDoo

Dracula's true form!

  • Dracula; The worst boss in the game, his attack is to throw evil demonic apples, summon moons to fall down, and summoning two purple balls of turd to stalk you which is indestructible, which will make any sane person insane. (Go try it out yourself. I will not pay for you becoming insane.)Upon death he turns into waddle doo. In fact, WHY the hell would a vampire throw apples anyway? out of pathethicness? Also, he is 100 times taller than you.
  • Bowser, wart and wily; riding on a koopa klown kar. Bowser is easy and will be down in seconds by a bomb, but as soon as you celebrate you victory wart appears and pwns your ass my shooting a 100 feet tall bullet bill. if you killed that and think it will be over, wily, which rides a evil koopa klown kar (Koopa klown kars? why not use a evil mech instead? does this game even make sense?) will appear and he is impossible to destroy. You just have to reflect the bullets via a glass bowlingball, which is so huge that it is impossible to jump over, so you will most likely get pwnt in seconds.
  • Kraidgief; The lovechild of kraid from metroid and Zangief from street fighter, he is a giant, green-skinned Zangief which can shoot brancas from his chest. when he kills you, a 北斗百裂拳! cutscene will appear along with some dramatic music in order to make you even madder. In the new version of IWBTG he can even shoot hadokens!
  • Mother Brain; Mother brain is the most subtle, yet the hardest of bosses. she does not attack directly but she can send out spaghettios which flood the entire screen and are impossible to dodge. There is a meager chance of 1% to escape. JUST GIVE UP ALREADY.

After defeating all 6 bosses the player must return to the warp room in order to go to a ride to the final stage. In here the player will encounter the following bosses;

  • Devil dragon; The lovechild of Dr. wily's robot dragon and the yellow devil, which is one of the worst bosses of the megaman series. Aside of using the robot dragon's attacks, it can shift pieces of itself just like the yellow devil, and due to the arrangement of the tiles, you must dodge at least 2 out of the 6 pieces, and just give up already. why not? weird.

And finally The guy himself.

THEGUY

EYE BEAMZ!!!!!

  • The Guy; He is your father, he is 40 feet tall, and he had sex with your mom! How ridiclous! Anyway, this thing is impossible. He can jump over 10000 feet (Nearly one side of the room to another side of the room!), fire bullets that are bigger than him, and even summon the evil save point to kill you! And you have defeated him, thinking it's all over, he suddenly blasts off and turns in to a Eye beam shooting Giant head which is so 1337 that he is impossible to beat. no one, aside of AAA, or some Japanese kid, had ever beat this form of the guy. He's just too 1337 to be beaten.

edit Glitches

RAGEFACE!!!!

OMG!!! IT'S THE STICKY KEYS OF DOOM!!!!!! GAME OVER PRESS "R" TO TRY AGAIN (SMASHES KEYBOARD)

Aside of natural difficulty the game also interferes with windows operations and that is the main reason why you will go insane. These insanity factors are in the following;

  • The ultimate killer of IWBTG; Sticky keys. Jumping in IWBTG requires you pressing the L + Shift keys, and as pressing shift 5 times will summon the sticky keys notification, you're pretty much screwed unless you disable it, as windows popups are so annoying that it will not let you do anything until you respond to it as you see in terror as you drop into a spike pit due to the awesomeness that is sticky keys. This easily sums up in two words; you're screwed.
  • The Uber 1337 crash. The uber 1337 crash will black out your screen, and show a message called "MM2 applications has stopped responding. windows is searching for problems...", which is the message of hell itself. In fact the game crashes so much that it will reverse the gravity of the pole and thus causing windows to explode and a spike will fly out to kill you for the lulz.This can even happen when in the credits after playing impossible in which you will scream in terror as you crush your computer with a giant mallet. They obviously did not make a fake error message room without reason.

edit Fanbase

The Fanbase of IWBTG is mostly consisted of Insane PC gamers and script kiddies. Even the most Die-hard Sid meier's civ or Portal fantards will not dare touch it's fanbase due to the fact that They can't make games, and they cannot play IWBTG without dying over 10000 times at least. This is true, as the IWBTG fanbase hates anyone who can't get past it with more than 100 deaths. It is also consisted of reject gamers who are trolls against the call of duty fanbase, or are retro gamers, (Which is a sin for the majority of the gaming community), and are thus exiled from the gaming community, as well as gaming n00bs who don't have an idea of making a game, so they add shit like chuck norris and god into their games and making it a day, which eventually causes flamewars that will crash the forums for 3 days.

edit Fangames

edit I wanna be the fangame

GLADOS FANGAME

GLaDOS!

The first IWBTG fangame, it is made bu tijitalmjit. This time there are fewer landscape insanity and more random traps such as portals, killer coins and a wrecking ball. The entire game unlike i wanna be the guy itself, is consisted of wonder boy III, pokemon, Portal and mario levels. In fact this game is so wonder boy III that all maps will eventually lead to wonder boy III landscape. The kid also defeats sticky keys in this fangame. The game also features secret items to die for juust like i wanna be the guy, but instead of a single map it is consisted of a new area and is thus much fun. wait, do IWBT games have "Fun" in their dictionary?

edit I wanna be the boshy

This time, instead of controlling the kid, you control a traffic sign known as boshy, and the bosses are icons from old school gamnes such as megaman and Ryu. It also plays in progress instead of the standard IWBT game method (Defeat several bosses in order to reach the final stage). but it's no less difficult, and the screen will go upside down for no reason!

edit I wanna kill the guy

CBDANCE

UP! UP! DOWN! DOWN! LEFT!.... AHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

A crappy windows movie maker game which is a IWBTG ripoff. It's not even complete, and the bosses and usually stupid endavors to get past. An example is a Curly brace boss which is equal to a expert dancing game or maybe Guitar hero. The current final boss is geezer, or satan himself.

edit I wanna be the shrine maiden

I wanna be the guy for weeaboos and Otakus. All of the bosses are bullet hell attacks and the traps are anime girls. The player controls reimu, a "The Kid" who shoots a different bullet. Never mind, it's the same.

edit I wanna be the end/ultimatium

For gay men, bronies and teenage girls. It also actually requires you to use the mouse to pogress various levels. There are only three bosses(in IWBTE), which is the triumvirate; Tree, star and eye. which is some girly shit that you don't want to see unless you are a brony, gay men or teenage girl.

edit I Wanna be the tribute

Similiar to i wanna be the fangame In terms of traps, but the player controls a miner wannabe instead of the standard the kid character. The player also warps between 6 areas via teleporters before they can run into a final teleporter containing a dead end. (Obviously it's incomplete.)

edit I wanna be the gameboy

One of the most cruel of IWBTG fangames, it is based on old school japanese gameboy games instead of full color games 8 or 16 bit games. The sheer insanity of this game's levels and bosses will make you insane. In a very different manner.

edit I wanna see you suffer

The absolute worst of them all. Nobody, not even AAA has completed it. NO EXCEPTIONS.


There are also numerous IWBTG fangames. but none of them are hard or stupid enough to give a fuck.

edit AAA and IWBTG

AAA is the best IWBTG player ever. He had completed I wanna be the guy within 5 seconds in impossible mode before the game was revealed to public, and he picked the sword without dying. He also beat the reunion elevator in I wanna be the fangame without dying when he got confused by the tentacool by switching him out with boshy. Yet he still can't defeat I wanna see you suffer, but he came close.

edit ASCII art

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edit See also

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