I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati
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|This page is or discusses a loony and/or nutty conspiracy theory of which Uncyclopedia vehemently denies knowledge and existence. The black helicopters are not ^on their way.|
“Oh, but it is.”
The I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati is a well known secret society founded by Wilfred von Plunk (former member of ClayPigeonSite) in Bavaria in 1777, following the disappearance of the Illuminati. This so enraged Illuminati leader Adam Weishaupt that he mooned von Plunk's house. However, such is the veil of secrecy that surrounds the Illuminati, no one ever saw him do it.
From this humble and enmooned beginning, the I Can't Believe It's Not The Illuminati went on to retroactively claim credit for every conspiracy since the dawn of time; however, no one believes them. This doesn't stop adherents of the organisation from trying. To this very day ICBINTIers will seek out conversations about the Kennedy Assassination and just sit there, nodding mysteriously. When asked who they think did it, they will reply "who indeed?" and walk off. This fools nobody.
How to Join
Known members of the ICBINTI
- That obnoxious geek in high school who was always trying to one-up you. I coulda edited this better than you.
- Hagbard Celine
- That shady guy over there
- David Icke
- Ralph Nader
- Pegasus the flying Mall Rat that Stole the blouse you were looking at in the Gap
- The Holy Order of Free Masons
- Oscar Wilde
- God- although he's only in it for the free snacks
- Tim "Snackpak" LaMay
- Sarah Michelle Gellar and the Reconstituted International Peoples Church of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the Scooby Gang
- Calvin Coolidge
- Light Yagami
- The Vatican
- Satan and all Satan's bitches
- The Annunaki and Paul the Alien
- Renn Scott
- Jean Claude Van Dyke
- The Clintons
- Rich western world leaders
- Harry Potter and Edward Cullen (they only pretend to be enemies to keep the secret a secret)