Today's Featured Article -
refers to a "re-imagined" Mystery Science Theater 3000 (re-imagining) universe that debuted in 2003 and was based on the 1990s television franchise of the same name. While sharing the same name and general premise of the original program, the new Mystery Science Theater 3000 aims for a more " realistic" depiction of humans trapped in space and forced to watch bad movies. The new Mystery Science Theater 3000 is grounded in current events, and several episodes have made allusions (both subtle and explicit) to real-life issues, including depression, suicidal thoughts and the whole Tyler Perry enterprise.
Each episode begins with the following crawl:
The Satellite of
Love was created by man It was shot into space by mad scientists
They send it cheesy
movies And they have a plan
-- each with a dark, terrifying secret -- wake up one morning within a spaceship. Before they can react, they are shot into
and placed in
over the South Atlantic. After reaching maximum altitude, the three -- referred to as "Robinson," "Servo" and "Gypsy" --receive a message from a mysterious corporation called "Gizmonics," telling them they have been brought together for an "
", and instructing them to enter a nearby
Did you know...
...that the waterways of Oslo, Norway are much like Venice, except that they are open sewers? (pictured)
...that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection?(sorry Candace)
...that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
...that the sport of Water Polo can be greatly improved with the addition of sharks?
...that life is a sexually transmitted disease with a 100% fatality rate?
...that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
...that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
On this day...
, National May 27: Homicide Day
2 - World's first homosexual celebrates his 40th birthday by helping create The Church of Tyra.
1032 - In England, first " Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?" joke performed in public.
1703 - Tsar Peter the Great, retitled Tsar Peter the "Meh, Okay".
1895 - Oscar Wilde is sent to prison, then released when the hamster never pressed charges.
1927 - Researchers in America discover 8th colour of the rainbow; call it ' onion'.
1931 - Jesus Christ considers performing the second coming; decides he'd rather get Taco Bell and watch porn.
1936 - Freddy Krueger kills himself in his own dreams accidentally. He reincarnates the same day for no reason as Walt Disney.
1937 - J.R.R Tolkien commences work on the majestic ' The Matrix: Revolutions'.
1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
1955 - J. Edgar Hoover wins the New York Marathon dressed in a tutu.
1963 - The Beatles kick Joseph Stalin out of the band. He quickly composes "Back in the USSR" as a mild revenge.
1969 - Hippies collect signatures to forbid showers. "They are so concentration camp" is their argument.
1974 - Jimi Hendrix makes love to his guitar on stage. He is promptly taken to a hospital where he dies of severe penis shredding.
1977 - A small visitor's center opens inside Space Mountain, with its line causing one of the biggest humanitarian disasters of today.
1985 - Ronald Reagan sets a new high score for Pac-Man, humiliating former champion Mikhael Gorbachev.
1989 - Lenin is sighted in Nebraska.
2006 - Midsummer village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER
2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance - the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.
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