I Am Legend

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This article is about the 1845 film. For an entirely different film, see I am Ledge.
Fresh prince

After the running water stopped, Dr. Smith smelled increasingly less fresh with each passing day's new blood stains.

I Am Legend (Fresh Prince of Bel-air 2012): The Film With The Two Endings That Both Sucked is a feature film length advertisement released on December 14, 1845 to promote Will Smith's personal post apocalyptic aftershave line (of the same name). It is a African-American, action, romantic, comedy (Hey Will Smith is pretty funny in that movie!), and commercial for the NRA, frequently mistaken for a movie. It is loosely based on the life of virologist Jonas Salk. But the great thing is that it answers a question that has plagued mankind for centuries: Who would win in a fight, Will Smith or 6 billion vampire Mike Pattons? I Am Legend is supposed to be about the last man on Earth, and let me tell you big guy... Wait, I don't want to give away the ending. This movie set records on the week it was released. It brought in $196,594,495,436 on its first day! It is rumored to have brought in that much, because of the star Will Smith. He is such a popular guy!

edit Plot

Dr. Will Smith (Played by Will Smith) lives in a small town called New York City; he is the last man on Earth, due to a deadly virus that started in Philly (Philadelphia). He has a dog named Sam, and he goes around the city in the day time, just chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool and radio-ing people for help. One of the first scenes, shows him listening to his ipod, and having a jolly time. But then as soon as it turns dark, trouble lurks. He has to cover up all his windows, and keep guns by his side. Why? Because vampires roam around at night, infected with the cure to cancer and Will Smith has an undead enforced curfew. Luckily the vampires can't come out in the daylight, ashamed of how bad their CGI looks. This typical day in the life thing, repeats itself for the whole movie; until, one night he finds out that is cousin Carlton Banks has become the vampires new leader, after complaining one too many times about the quality of scavenged survival supplies and getting locked out of the bunker. He ate Uncle Phil and Aunt Vivian; he even had Geoffrey serve them to him before eating him too! Yet despite having the vampiric strength of ten Carltons, Will easily overpowers his cousin as they wrestle on the steps of a courthouse. Dr. Smith is about to pull the pin on a grenade, until Uncle Phil's ghost appears, telling them both to get along and informing Will as a judge that there's no legal grounds for losing your internationally recognized human rights due to a viral infection or any other change in medical condition, so under the 1998 Rome Statute of the International Criminal Court he's technically a war criminal for preforming human medical experiments not in the interest of the patients health. Putting aside their differences, the cousins ride off into the sunset, and enjoy a happy ending with everyone else who wasn't killed by the vampire plague, subsequent social collapse or those man eating lions who in retrospect would have made great guards against the endless waves of uncoordinated human meat.

edit Filming

As you know, this movie was filmed in New York City. But how did the production crew accomplish a great feat like getting the city empty? Its quite simple really: they just filmed it all during a snow storm and digitally removed all the snow obviously.

edit Sequel

They are currently filming a sequel for the movie, entitled Am I Legend? This time around, Will Smith is the only person in Los Angeles. He is now The Omega Man, the last human on Earth, and he has to survive a vampire siege each night led by Count Carlton, who has spread a mutated strain of the virus that enables the dark seekers to complain and belittle Will's taste in artworks taken from museum ruins.

edit Theme

Now this is the story all about how My life got flipped, turned upside down and I’d like to take a minute just sit right there I’ll tell you how I became legend after the Krippen virus hit the air.

In New York City born and raised In a military lab is where I spent most of my days Chilling out, maxing, relaxing all cool Working on viruses since /b/ closed the pool When Krippen's cancer cure turned out to be no good It started making trouble in my neighborhood I messed up one little virus and my wife got scared I said "you’re moving with Marley to find some clean air."

I begged and pleaded with her the other day Till she packed a suitcase and I sent her on her way She gave me the dog after I got her eye scanned But her chopper crashed now my life’s down the pan.

Vampires, yo this is bad, Eating survivors like it’s a new fad. Is this what the people of 2012 livin' like? Hmmmmm at least they only come out at night.

Spending my days with my dog talking to Fred Cause everyone else on Earth is either rabid or dead Broadcasting on all AM frequencies Is anyone else out there? If so please contact the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

Well, the vampires went and set me a trap Infected my dog after I shot Fred all to crap Took the dog home but she lost hair like she was shavin' Killed her quick Another reason not to eat that bacon I was savin'

Killing vampires along with myself what a way to go But got saved by a Mexican bitch who heard me on the radio If anything I could say that this bitch was rare But I thought 'Naw forget it' - 'Yo home to my lair'

I became an hero at about seven or eight And I yelled to the bitch 'Yo homes smell ya later' The bitch and her kid Finally found some friends And now I’m remembered cause I am Legend.

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