IBrows

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IBrows

The Apple iBrows poster ad

The Apple iBrow is a new release from Apple that plugs directly into your brain via un-nesseceraly large and sharp electronic needles inserted in the eyebrows area. The controls are telepathic, and all you have to do is think about what you have stored on your iBrows and it will run it. It can connect to your computer and you can download anything onto it and it will store it in it's 5000 Terabyte memory.

Features

  • If attached to the computer, you can view and edit the mind of the current user. It can also download songs from iTunes and upload files from the computer.
  • If attached to the iMote, you can control the mind of the current user. If you control your own mind, it could result in death and the iBrows will break.
  • Anything stored on the iBrows can be opened via telepathy and played via telepathy.
  • Apple can influence your mind through it.
  • 5 minute warranty.
  • GPS and mobile phone systems.
  • The Internet
  • Can use Apple iWi-iFi Connection with an Apple iSteeringWheel attachment (originally designed for the iBox 360) to move you around.
  • When it runs out of memory space, it will use yours.
  • Is every Apple product out so far in one handy and painful product.
  • It is the Perfect companion to the iEye
  • 5000TB storage space
  • Everything else imaginable, as well as everything else unimaginable. In this way, it is similar to the universe.

Cost

Free with any Apple product. Some believe this is because it will let Apple make you buy more Apple products.

It also costs you your dignity, due to the large size and white colour of the eyebrows and the large holes in your head if removed.

Strangly, Apple started charging more and more money for their products, but not for the iBrow. Whether this is connected with the Mind Control function of the iBrow is unknown, and was about to be investigated, before the investegators put on iBrows.

Availability

Out now.

Public Response and Critic responses

"It Is Painful!" - New York Times

"Buy more Apple products NOW!" - Wearer

"It hurt at first, but you get used to it. Buy more Apple products." - Wearer

"The quality of this product and all other Apple products is extremely high. You should definitely buy Apple products, no matter what the cost" - Wearer

Polls show that 90% of people who wear Apple iBrows loved it. Other polls show that 90% of people who took the poll were wearing iBrows at the time. Apple then took all the iBrows back and redesigned them so they could not be taken off.

It is also believed that John Howard, the supreme ruler of Australia, will unveil a new law if he wins the election. This law will require everyone living in Australia to wear the iBrows so that they can look like him.


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