I'm Just Saying
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"I'm just saying" (often shortened to “just sayin'”) is probably the most overused phrase in the world. Its mostly unrivaled versatility has not only made it a convenient vehicle for expressing many different things, but has also rendered it the catch-phrase of our generation. It is therefore well on its way in being immortalized beside other such lingual plagues as: "gee-whiz," "nigga please," and "grody to the max." Accordingly, 8 in 10 dentists agree that society seriously needs to end its usage; it’s making everyone look real stupid. They’re just sayin.’
Nobody really knows when people started “just saying” things. Experts theorize that budget cuts and 9/11 are to blame. Others think that the liberal media – what, with all that pussy-fyin’ – have gradually degraded our population into a bunch of self-expressing ninnies who are constantly encouraged to “just keep saying” whatever’s on their mind. What they can all agree on, however, is that this plague will most likely result in the extinction of our species via a gradually expanding passive-aggressive pressure zone merging with the sub-tropical Westerlies. Mid to low 70s during the weekend with a slight chance of scattered showers on Sunday.
Usage and Mechanics
It’s not really that “I’m just saying” is versatile in itself. It always essentially acts as a fire escape at the end of its host sentence (not exactly what the rage in karma-karma-karma-karmelleon was all about); and while usable at any point during any conversation, it always reminds us just about how fucked up our communication skillz are getting.
Ending a sentence
"You are witless, stupid and immoral, and I wouldn't let you near my tropical fish for fear you would contaminate them with your depravity. Just sayin'!"
"She's a fucking bitch who loves to suck the cock of every man who ever comes into my life, never notices my new haircuts, and has been making me hear her dumbass problems since we were in 3rd grade, but never has the 10 seconds to listen to mine; I have feelings and I am a human being, goddamnit, and I'm getting pretty sick of it; I'm just saying."
Although generally used at the end of a sentence, it can also come before or in between.
Before a sentence
"I'm just sayin'... we should probably clean her up before taking her home."
Usage of the phrase at the beginning of a sentence shows maturity. Nothing like a warning before a load of shit is shot your way!
In the middle of a sentence
"Ey dog, I know I just got outta jail n’ all, but I'm just sayin,' I would love to fuck the shit outta your little sister."
Naturally, its use in the middle conveys disorientation and confusion of the ego. Please call the Suicide Hotline(24 hours a day/ 7 days a week) at 1-800-SUICIDE. Let someone know your pain.
As a sentence
A: "Your shirt is Purple."
B: "No, it isn't."
A: "It is, right, C?"
A(frustrated): "Whatever, it's not a big deal."
B: "I'm just saying."
See teenage girls.
The problem is... you're never just saying. That’s right, I just said it. In addition to saying, you are not only making yourself out to be a bitch-ass liar, but you are also:
Bitching, complaining, judging, suggesting, inferring, concluding, assuming, bullshitting, hiding (from your true feelings. Deep), electioneering ("I'm just saying, he had to change the color of his socks," Obama said with a chuckle.), economizing (yes, economizing. Economizing time. Is YOUR time too good for others?), antagonizing, defraying, entertaining/amusing (3rd parties, of course), correlating, misguiding, trespassing (on our collective dignities), earwigging (look it up), lampooning, offloading (your baggage, brah), mythmaking, prognosing (you ain’t a doctor, son, stop it), schmoozin,’ retrimming, loopholing, indwelling, outsourcing (great, now you’re messing with the economy), disrupting, racing (our civilization down a giant cliff), losing (out on an honest life), zigzagging, trading, tumbling,’ mumblin’ (symbolically. Cause I can’t really understand you), razzin’ (muh tazzin’), mocking, maiming, trifling, triflin,’ nagging, needing (of some language skills), tampering, tempting, and tearing, easing (your liability from the stupidity of your utterances*), hyping, jading, moping, fixing, erring, eyeing, whoring, trading, veiling, rotting, lobbing, nulling, *of course, after reading this article some may not fall for your shit anymore, heeding (this warning, you are not), but most importantly, going to hell.
Let's face it; you're being a coward. Stop flying away like a little bee and own up to what comes out of that mouth. Don’t pussyfoot around the issue or say that you’ve “just said” something, when you really said a bunch of other things (an act that categorically disqualifies the use of the word “just”). Got something on your mind? Don’t agree with the plans we all have tonight? Tired of your roommate’s god-awful wardrobe that she probably buys exclusively from Forever 21? Then just say it!
But hey, don’t take it from me. Here’s some advice from a very special lady:
“Think of it – everyone just saying things. What about eating, drinking, and going to church? If you must "just-say" anything – just say no!”
- ~ Nancy Reagan on "I’m just saying."