Hunter x Hunter
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“ Want to see a card trick?”
~ Hisoka, talking to hisfoodvictims
Hunter X Hunter is a manga turned anime about a boy named Gong aiming to become a Hunter like his father. The manga is most known for its excruciating hiatuses and an art style which consists mainly of scribbles. The anime was released in 1999, so pretty much before you were born.
  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Sam dies in "My Brother Sam is Dead", the Elites, Hunters, and most of the Grunts all rebel against the Hierarchs and civil war ensues on High Charity, Bruce Willis sacrifices his life to save Earth from the asteroid, Fat Albert goes to Bill Cosby to help him get back to the TV show, they save Private Ryan, but they all get killed, Richard Hatch wins, Niles and Daphne get together, Daniel Jackson becomes a Prior of the Ori, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
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[edit] Hunters
Hunters are an all-fields organization with a great deal of power. The single condition to becoming a hunter is a lengthy exam which makes the Chounin Exam in Naruto look like a cakewalk. The title itself gives Hunters access to the President’s daughter and even a free meal.
Like many fighters, Hunters can use their natural energy called “Nen” as a weapon or other purposes to serve the plot.
[edit] Gong Freakshow
Gong typically wears a green uniform, black boots, has ginormous eyes, and a spiky hairdo that would make a cactus cringe.
Gong grew up on a small island inhabited by all manner of fearsome wildlife. Also, all of these monsters were his friends. Gong was left in the care of his Aunt; his mother being dead, and his father having left him when he was but a wee lad. His father was a Hunter, intent on seeking out fortune, fame, and billion dollar videogames.
When he reached the age of twelve, Gong met a long haired Hunter named Kite who told him about the Hunter Exam. Gong realized he was now free to leave his loving aunt for the wolves and become a professional Hunter so to find his bastard of a father.
Gong’s signature weapon is a fishing rod which he swings rapidly at his victims, occasionally taking an eye out in the process. He also shows a great deal of determination, innocence, and out right stupidity bravery. He also has the power of friendship (you heard me). Everyone is Gong’s friend, at least that’s what he believes.
[edit] Kawaii Zoldyck
Kawaii, I mean Killua (Kill-a-ya), is an heir to the deadly Zoldyck family of assassins. Twelve years in age, he has messy white hair and rides a skateboard no matter where he goes (though he later ditches it for a Twinkie).
Kawaii met Gong during the Hunter Exam while coasting on his skateboard which is all he did up until that point. Kawaii had run away from his legacy as an assassin, after beating the crap out of his mother’s face, to become a Hunter. Quickly making friends with Gong, he realized he no longer wanted to kill, rather be betrothed to the Hostess Twinkie stay friends with Gong through thick and thin.
Kawaii’s trademark weapon is his horrendous in-grown retractable nails. He also has enough speed to kill an opponent before they can react. He has a bad habit of pick pocketing sweets, passports, and various vital organs. Like Gong, he is prodigy quickly learning to use Nen.
[edit] Uchiha Kurapica
Kurapica is a seventeen year old boy with blonde hair who possesses the Sharingan unique red eyes. And yes, he is male, how many shirtless covers do you need to see before you accept it you obsessive fan fic writers? You all disgust me.
Kurapica is the sunny-side boy turned resident badass of the show. His clan was wiped out by a group called Akatsuki the Spiders in order to collect his clan's unique Sharingan red eyes. Now he seeks revenge against their organization to avenge those he lost—meaning everyone he frakkin’ knew. He became a Hunter to gain the power and resources necessary to hunt them down. Along the way, he became close friends with Gong and Loserio. Later he ditched them, to become a badass bodyguard/assassin for the Mob. He’s also the first to kill a Spider.
Kurapica’s eyes glow red when he’s intense, triggered mainly by seeing a Spider member or heck—an actual spider (funny since he spares a spider on his debut and remains happy the whole time). He later wears badass chain gloves and can use any of the different Nen’s with his Sharingan red eyes.
[edit] Loserio
Loserio is a nineteen year old year old man aiming to use his Hunter license to become a doctor. He wears a plain business suit, Shino’s shades, and also sports a spiky crop of a hairdo.
Loserio lacks any special abilities or talents except the power of snark. Oh and he has a briefcase where he keeps various Jell-O molds and instant pie mixtures. Like all the main characters on the show, he is forced against his will to follow Gong and become his friend.
Apparently, he wants to become a doctor and needs the hunter license to access the resources. Recent findings suggest he was shunned by the science community after using the lab to bring to life his almighty Jell-O fetish.
[edit] The Mob
Imagine the mob from the Godfather, only this mob’s every move revolves around a teenage girl and their only true purpose is to show how badass the Spiders are.
[edit] Mob Boss Stalin
Leader of the mob, whose reputation proceeds him as a kiss-up daddy to a spoiled brat of a daughter—but hey, she’s cute.
Stalin suffers from constant panic attacks and spends most of his time on the phone promising his daughter unsightly treasures.
[edit] Neon- The Boss’s boss
Neon is the pink haired daughter of Stalin and is a fortuneteller. She has the power to summon a green talking pear with lipstick and angel wings (I am not making this up). It being able to possess her hands and write out prophecies has made Neon a vital tool in the mob. For this reason, Kurapica is assigned to be her bodyguard. He has no objections.
Neon seems to have a strange desire to collect mummies, eyeballs, and embalmed remains of horses. Primarily, she suffers from Necrophilia. She also has a tendency to turn bat frak insane freak out when she can’t get what she wants and requires constant pandering from her bodyguards.
Later on, her father breaks his promise yet again regarding winning archeological remains at the um… Crap-fest Auction. Just to piss him off, she goes out with the leader of the Spiders- Chronic Lucifer. This backfires. Having never consumed alcohol before, she quickly proposes to him and accidentally bashes her head against the table, leaving him to steal her power. Then an all out Spider vs. Mob war begins because of her being “kidnapped”. Ouch.
[edit] The Spiders
The Spiders (Phantom Troupe) are a criminal organization of assassins and thieves containing thirteen members. Each one is formidable and a talented Nen user. Their services mainly consist of assassination and theft, though occasionally they do recreational work.
[edit] Bonelolipop
The result of a failed mummification demonstration and five-thousand removed piercings.
[edit] Cousin It
Cousin It has long unkempt green hair exposing only one of his eyes. He is the weakest of the spiders, and strangely the trusted bodyguard of Chronic Lucifer. (Seriously, wtf?)
[edit] Fetish
A sadist, masochist, nihilist, atheist, scientologist, and a major pervert, Fetish has narrow eyes and a scarf to cover his mouth. He spends his time reading trashy love novels and making crude remarks about Kurapica’s gender.
Fetish is most likely the fastest of the Spiders, in both a physical and a sarcastic sense.
[edit] Franklin
Cancellation from Nick Jr., left Franklin in the gutter—literally. He was run over by Robin Williams mistaking him for Flubber while steering an armored car. He was later steamrolled mutilated by Sonic the Hedgehog after challenging him to a race. This left him a disfigured Frankensteinian-ish monster. Somewhere deep inside of the shell he is now, is the caring and loving turtle he once was.
[edit] Hisoka
Hisoka, who fancies himself the Joker and Michael Jackson of the series, met Gong during the Hunter exam and later at a battle arena. Quite the blue haired sadist, he developed a disturbing fixation to make Gong stronger in order to beat him later on. (Nothing feels better than breaking the neck of a twelve year old boy with a poker card after all.)
When not tearing off a man’s arm or getting his own arm torn off in a fight, he is being rejected by Machi every chance he gets. Apparently, his charming manner of asking her out during arm surgery just doesn’t turn her on. Poor guy.
[edit] Machi
Machi is a female Spider with blue hair and one of the strongest spiders. Her main power is to use Nen to create threads that serve numerous purposes- one of them being reattaching Hisoka’s appendages. O_o
She is often asked out by Hisoka, her answer is to calmly say “no” and than sow his arm on backwards.
[edit] Nobunga Hafunga
Resembling a samurai, (or so he likes to believe), Nof-Nobunga Haflunga carries a sword that he can combine with his Nen. His powers become obvious when Nondungu--Nonbu--hell with it, fails to capture two twelve-year-old boys from escaping the Spider stronghold.
[edit] Professor Pakunoda
A witch, she has the ability to read others minds using Nen. Despite this, Pakunoda is the second weakest of the spiders. Some may wonder why she is Chronic’s personal bodyguard, until you realize she always leaves her shirt unbuttoned.
[edit] Winks
The second strongest of the Spiders, Winks tends to wear a jogger suit. Moving on.
[edit] Shalnark- boy genius
A strapping young lad, quick in wit and on the existential internet, he is always first to help out his fellow Spiders in need. Rather good looking and a calming conversationalist, he —Who in the hell wrote this crap?
[edit] Shizznittle
A.K.A. the girl with glasses and the resident ditz. Despite this she is quite strong and fights using Satan’s Vacuum Cleaner- the stuff of nightmares complete with googley eyes and a trippy voice.
[edit] Uvhogan
Physically the strongest of the Spiders, Uvhogan sports a muscular wolf-man appearance. His use of Nen is deadly and he remained unstoppable until defeated by Kurapica. On a separate note, kudos for him taking urinal leeches like a man.
[edit] Chronic Lucifer
The suave ringleader of the Spiders, Chronic Lucifer is both cool-headed and extremely deadly. Strong enough to take on the top Zoldyck assassins, he also is able to copy any Nen power he learns. Amusingly, he has a soft spot for man-eating Nen fish which he keeps as pets, is a devoted reader, and aims to be a Maestro for an orchestra one day.
He is also married to Neon.
[edit] Did you know?
- That Hisoka ruined your childhood?
- That Chronic Lucifer once killed a mob of hippies with only a conductor stick and a green tambourine?
- That Kurapica has just killed another fan fic writer?
- That Killua married Little Debbie?
- That Gong is now your friend?
- That the Spiders stole your will to live?
- That this list is really retarded?
