Hungary
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“Megszentségteleníthetetlenül gyönyörűséges, hihetetlenül kiejthetetlen nyelvvel rendelkeznek eme emberek!" or "DAMN!I hope no one noticed!”
~ God on Hungary
“Why should I care if you're hungry? How does that even matter??”
~ An American in Hungary on a Hungarian in Hungary
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| Motto: "Hungry? Why Wait? Eat the Gypsies before they eat our babies and kittens." | |||||
| Anthem: "Don't try to pronounce it, you'll just hurt yourself" (formerly "Cry me a river" by Justin Timberlake) | |||||
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| Capital | Somewhere in France... | ||||
| Largest city | |||||
| Official languages | Drop your panties Sir Williams, I cannot wait till lunch time. | ||||
| Government | Monarchy | ||||
| King | Theodor Herzl | ||||
| Queen | Anita Blond | ||||
| National Hero(es) | |||||
| Declaration of Independence | 894 on Earth, ?? on Sirius | ||||
| Currency | Flock (HUF) | ||||
| Religion | |||||
The Hungarian Republic of Hungary is a foreign nation located between Botswana,Yuckraine, Thirsty, Romania and The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union, in Central Europe. Despite its name, the country doesn't suffer from famine. The river Danube runs through the center, disecting the city of Budapest into the warring city-states of Buda and Pest. Hungary's main exports are paprika, sand, some dances by Brahms, and roofing nails. The people of Hungary are called Munchies. Hungary is not to be confused with starving.
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The Hungarian Flag
The Hungarian national flag was used in the revolutions of 1848, 1918, 1956 and 1989, when the Hungarians were protesting the lack of good Unicum, apothecaries, vodka and Rubik's Cubes, respectively. The design is symbolic: green represents virginity, white represents bedsheets, and red represents a clown nose; together they tell the stirring history of Hungary's national origins.
The Hungarian Coat of Arms
The Hungarian coat-of-arms depicts a noble magar (donkey) with a dirty rag. It has been traced to central-asian turanic tribes such as the uyghurs who worship it as the powerful god of the steppes, Donkey-Kong (its date of origin varies depending on how much Unicum the respective Hungarian historian drank).
The History of Hungary
A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far, away, King Bela I forced his tribe of Vampires and trained telemarketers to settle into the flattest place they could find, which eventually (through careful corporate mergers and acquisions) conglomerated into Hungary, or the Paprika Empire. This is the foundation for its modern legacy as porn capital of the world.
Hungary disappeared from the face of the earth between WW1 and WW2. Some say that it was lost behind the couch, but most agree that it was stolen by Gypsies before we could re-steal it back. No one noticed their disappearance until the production of erotic movies was shut down and the French protested.
Following the French protest, Hungary was rediscovered by an alert passerby who noticed it sticking out of the trunk of an abandoned car. It was reinstated, but it was fined several million sqare miles of land for being on the wrong side of WW2. The removed land was surgically grafted onto Hawaii, who later lost it in a Chess game.
More recently, Hungary has been attempting to conquer the world, but thus far has only succeeded in conquering several inconsequential internet message boards. This has been widely exploited, however, and every Hungarian is moderator on at least 2.367 message boards......
The Great Migration
On 26 April 1986 forces of the dark ninja lord Shredder overran the small happy communist town of Chernobyl, blowing up their peaceful nuclear reactor that was used to make nuclear warheads. This was the trigger for the great migration of Chernobylans now known as Hungry'ans - so named because they were hungry all the time. After the explosion, the Chernobylans mutated into Ninja Turtles who began to search the ocean in order to mate with the "Evil Ninja Turtles From Space". In the end the poor mutated turtles didn't find the ocean and they found only Hungary. It was wide flat and rather moist...and they settled there. "The Great Leader of the Mutated Turtles" realised that he and the rest were very veeery hungry and they devoured all they could find in the area. That's why nobody can find any mountains, or anything higher than a turtle's knee in the Panonian Plains. They decided to call the place where they settled Hungry'a, but with time it became Hungary.
Politics
Hungary is governed by a code known as the laws of physics, which prohibits its inhabitants from falling off the Earth's surface and requires them to dedicate their lives to physics and eat goulash. The selective exporting of these laws to other countries generates most of Hungary's revenue.
The king of Hungary is selected to be the one with the most unpronounceable name. The current king is mathematician Sződzsos Lengles, making Hungary one of only two countries ruled by a machine. It is the first country of the new era called the matrix when all men will be ruled by machines.
There are 3.1415926... houses of parliament. Sqrt(2) of them are under supervision of the king, cos(36) houses belong to the physicians.
Economy
The economy of Hungary relies mostly on the export of physics and porn. In 1961, Nikola Tesla attempted to combine the two, creating the first known instance of pr0n.
In recent times, Hungary has also received huge royalties for the production of mathematicians, especially from The Country Formerly Known As The Soviet Union. The underground economy is so good that they have great amounts of underground. They use the underground for the baby hungarian hatchlings that need to be kept underground in order to be underground.
Furthermore, Hungarians are the inventors of the nuke and the hydrogen bomb, too. Without this country, Japan would be overpopulated!! Can you believe?
Hungary is a leading exporter of illiterate historians, all of Romanian descent. Their biggest errors include not considering Transylvania a part of Hungary, claiming that Hungarians are of savage Mongolian descent, and constantly misusing semicolons.
Hungary is the second richest country in the world after Ethiopia where the average wage is the equivalent of $10 per month but as money hasn't been invented yet in Hungary all workers are paid in Paprika and Palinka. Even after paying 97% in tax the magyars still have enough left over to buy expensive sports cars (Suzuki Swift).
Culture
Were You Aware?
Hungarians like to refer to themselves as Magyars and their country as Magyarország, probably coming from the romanian word "magar" (meaning donkey). The also speak a gibberish sexy language they made up called Magyar that attracts even the "magari" (donkeys) if pronounced correctly. We call it Hungarian because we are retarded. But we all know it's complete bullshit it makes female genitalia extremely moist, and Romanians jealous.
Music of Hungary
Hungarians like good music. Famous Bands in Hungary:
- Edda Művek,
- Ámokfutók,
- Das Balaton Combo,
- Kozmix (really, mate, do not listen to them!)
- Belga,
- Depresszió,
- Anima sound system,
- Tankcsapda,
- Zanzibar,
- Kispál és a Borz,
- The Flying Paprikas ,
- Christian Epidemic,
- There is no band named like this and
- Fresh.
Sport
The most well known athlete of modern times is Zsolt Baumgartner, admired all around the world for his impressive racing skills. Hungarians are also world beaters at football, dragon boat racing and chess.
Famous Hungarians
- Edward Teller, peace warrior
- Nicolas Sarkozy, politician
- Lajos Kossuth, hero
- Billy Joel, piano tuner
- Sándor Márai, a famous writer
- Harry Houdini, physicist, inventor of teleportation
- Franz Liszt, a bad musician and a playboy
- Béla Lugosi, an indestructible vampire
- Béla Bartók, refugee and perhaps the greatest Hungarian guitarist ever
- Johnny Weissmüller, actor, see the early "Tarzan"
- Chita, actor, see the early "Tarzan"
- Alexander Szalacsi, speaker, a great mind
- Árpád Fogarasi, nuclear bunker builder, good worker
- 50 Cent half Hungarian, half 9 millimeter bullets
- Ash Ketchum, some boy, probably famous for something
- Bill Gates
- Cicciolina, porn actress
- Richard Gere, alias Gere Richárd
- József Torgyán, local comedian
- Viktor Orbán, clown
See also
- Hungarian language
- Paprika, Hot Pepper, Pepperoni
- UFOs
- brain
- atomic bomb
- Food
References
| Magyarság |
 People
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| Atilla's Barca Lounger * Buda's Place * The Hungarian Province of Romania * Zolton's Paprika Palace * Bull's Slaughter of Eger |
| Northern Europe | Channel Islands · Denmark · Estonia · Faroe Islands · Finland · Guernsey · Iceland · Ireland · Isle of Man · Latvia · Lithuania · Norway · Old Jersey · Sealand · Svalbard · Sweden · United Kingdom | 
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| Western Europe | Austria · Belgium · Corsica · France · Germany · Liechtenstein · Luxembourg · Monaco · Netherlands · Switzerland | |
| Eastern Europe | Belarus · Bulgaria · Czech Republic · Hungary · Moldova · Poland · Romania · Russia · Slovakia · Ukraine | |
| Southern Europe | Albania · Andorra · Balearic Islands · Bosnia and Herzegovina · Croatia · Cyprus · Gibraltar · Gozo · Greece · Italy · Kosovo · Macedonia · Madeira · Malta · Montenegro · Portugal · San Marino · Serbia · Sicily · Slovenia · Spain · Vatican City |
