The Incredible Hulk
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| Article written in the style of its subject|
This article is written in the real or imagined writing style of its subject. If you do not find it funny, it is probably because you are the type who needed this explained to you. If you still do not find the article funny, that is surely because a joke loses its humor when it is explained. The authors sincerely hope that you will pick up your game and laugh without prompting in the future.
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner brilliant nuclear physicist, is shy, puny and introvert individual. He contacted by puny General Ross work on puny Army Gamma Bomb project. Have deep misgivings. Puny Banner agree to work on puny Army program. Puny Gamma Bomb make great strides. Got as far as initial test. Widespread misconception cause puny Dr. Banner to subject puny gamma ray blast during test of puny weapon. He attempt save puny teenager wandering onto puny test site. Perhaps cute, puny little kitten. However, puny Banner go to puny local 7-11 and heat up puny burrito when he subject to massive dose high energy puny gamma radiation from puny, stupid defective can of Red Bull.
Puny Gamma rays trigger latent genes in puny Banner's DNA. As result, release of puny adrenaline, caused by excessive puny emotional stimulation, causes the intelligent but puny Banner to transform into monstrous green beast of subhuman intelligence but superhuman strength: the Incredible Hulk. He since been pursued by puny Dr. Ross, who hopes to turn Hulk into some kind of weapon. Due to dangerous and unpredictable transformations, puny Banner has permanently exiled his puny self from puny society so as to prevent his puny self from harming puny others, he wander alone along puny highways and throughout the puny deserts of the puny American Southwest, endlessly searching to cure puny Banner's puny condition. Hulk been even more difficult to integrate into puny society, although for time he able to find work programming for puny Microshit, where he collaborate with puny Yoda on puny Microsoft Grammar Checker.
edit Puny Dr. Bruce Beaner's Mexican Transformation into the Hulk
Transformation of puny Dr. Beaner into his alter-ego, Incredible Hulk, result from release of adrenaline due to excessive fear or getting pissed off. For instance, puny Banner might get angry if some puny dick threaten him or puny loved one, if puny evil-doer try to take over world, if he has to deal with puny Clippy popping up with his useless and annoying hints while trying to type, or if one of favorite puny TV shows gets cancelled; like when puny Fox cancelled puny Futurama. (Grrrr...) In fact, if puny Banner were even to think back on that, he would get upset about seeing funny, witty and puny show, one with so much potential, cancelled by boneheaded puny Fox executives and then Hulk... you make Hulk angry puny Andrea Berman, you no like Hulk when Hulk angry...(RIP! TEAR!) GNRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!
edit HULK ANGRY!!!!
GNRAAAAAAAH!!!' Puny Fox Network make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Fox network executives! Why Puny Fox Network torment Hulk? Leave Hulk alone! Hulk just want to be alone! And watch antics of puny Bending Unit!
edit Hulk Power
In 1905 Albert Einstein made a figure to calculate the Hulks power. He made the hulk–energy equivalence E equals MC squared.
edit Hulk Puny Hobbies
Hulk have many puny hobbies. Things Hulk like to do:
- Turning into big green guy
- Wandering alone in puny desert
- Wearing large puny purple pants
- Stinking like body odor and smelly feet
- Smashing puny objects
- Loving Ty the Big Guy
- Speaking in third person
- Staring at pretty yet puny ladies while holding them in big, meaty fists
- Kicking your puny pet dog for being too loud
- Running away from puny army even though Hulk could kill puny army with a few punches
- Roaring once Hulk defeated puny enemy, or won on a puny PS3
- Farting on puny army for puny laughs at puny army's puniness
- Throwing things at puny people that Hulk don't like because puny people want to hurt Hulk & make Hulk mad.
WTF is going on? ima piss on my self T_T
edit Change in direction
After 40 years changing in to Hulk, puny Bruce Banner get bored and decide to make change. Starting by wearing puny blue pants, puny Banner invent puny machine that turn Hulk gray and add 1 to total IQ. This make huge difference, so Hulk thought.
edit Teaching Career
Dr. Puny Bruce Banner was not fit for society due to Hulk Smashing and a small puny case of dementia. So, he was asked to teach puny third graders in Alabama, because c'mon let's face it delusional rants and being smashed is the best education for puny people in that state can look forward to their puny kids, right? Anyway, his teaching career lasted 2 hours, because Dr. Puny Bruce Banner had gotten pissed when one of the puny students was chewing puny gum in the class, so he became The Hulk and smashed the living hell out of the puny school/trailer.
edit Puny People Hulk Battle
Hulk battle many puny people over years. Some puny people Hulk battle:
- Puny General Ross. Puny General Ross try to capture Hulk, do puny experiments. Send puny army against Hulk. Puny army make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Army!
- The Puny Leader. Puny Leader mutated by gamma rays, strong and green like Hulk. Puny Leader smarter than Hulk, but Hulk strongest there is! Puny Leader make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Leader!
- P.M.O.D.O.K. Puny Massive Orgasm Design Only for Koochie. P.M.O.D.O.K. make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH P.M.O.D.O.K.!
- Puny Doctor Doom Puny Doctor Doom puny metal man, try to take over puny world. Puny Doctor Doom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Doctor Doom!
- Puny God of War. Puny Kratos bald! Puny Kratos yell out he god of war! .All puny world know puny Kratos god of war! Puny Kratos yell make Hulk angry! Hulk SMA- AAARRRRRGGHGHGHH. FUCK! Don't hit me so har- *green blood starts flowing out from every corner from puny green carcass* .....
- The Puny Green Giant Puny Green Giant try to make Hulk eat puny vegetables! Plus, Puny Green Giant rip-off of Hulk! Puny vegetables and puny copyright infringement make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Green Giant! Then file puny lawsuit!
- Little man. Little man Wolverine make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Wolverine! Then Puny Wolverine cheat by healing. No fair! Puny Wolverine have healing factor like Hulk! Puny Wolverine healing factor make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Wolverine! Puny Wolverine heal again. Make Hulk angry! Etc. Eventually Hulk get bored of smashing puny Wolverine, go hitchhike in puny desert.
- Puny Jack McGee Puny Jack McGee with puny newspaper National Register, try to capture Hulk for puny reward! He use puny tranquilizer gun can kill puny Bruce Banner! News media make Hulk angry! Hulk smash puny Jack McGee!
- Puny Captain Obvious. Puny Captain Obvious stupid! Say puny things everybody already know already! Puny Captain Obvious make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Captain Obvious!
- Puny Hooker Hulk get puny blowjob from puny hooker. Hulk no longer hulk. Puny hooker no swallow. Puny hooker make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny hooker! Then Betty come, see Hulk with puny hooker! Betty angry! SMASH puny hooker! Then SMASH Hulk for cheating on Betty. Hulk sorry. Betty forgive Hulk.
- Kitten. Hulk have kitten. Hulk huff kitten. Kitten scratch furniture. Kitten make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Hulk’s kitten. Hulk now sad. Hulk give puny kitten puny transfusion of Hulk blood with Hulk healing factor, heal kitten! Now Hulk kitten is Kitten Hulk, SMASH puny neighborhood dogs, keep them out of Hulk’s puny flower bed.
- Puny Dr. Scholl. Puny Dr. Scholl stupid! He try make Hulk feet smell good! Puny Scholl fail miserably make big Hulk feet angry! Hulk trap puny Dr. Scholl under feet, make puny Dr. Scholl eyes bleed from stench of stinky Hulk foot odor!
- Puny Oprah. Puny Oprah think she all that, but Hulk think puny Oprah not all that! Puny Oprah make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Oprah! Then Hulk SMASH puny bookclub!
- Puny Batman. Hulk hate puny Batman! Puny Batman... uhh, actually, Hulk like not-so-puny Adam West Batman. But Hulk SMASH other puny Batmans!
- Puny Jack Thompson. Puny Jack Thompson try to sue Hulk! Puny Jack Thompson gay lawyer trying to sue everything! Hulk SMASH Jack Thompson!
- Puny Chris Benoit.Puny Benoit?! Hulk SMASH puny Benoit! Hulk not hate all WWE, only puny Benoit...puny Benoit?! Hulk now remember! Hulk need to SMASH puny Benoit!
- Puny Ronald McDonald. Stupid puny clown! puny Ronald try to turn Hulk fat, but Hulk not that stupid. Puny Ronald McDonald make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Ronald McDonald! Then SMASH puny Ronald McDonald's puny McMeals!
- Puny Shrek. Puny Shrek Hulk's cousin, puny Shrek green and large like Hulk but puny Shrek stupid, love puny donkeys. Also puny Shrek have puny princess wife, make Hulk angry and jealous. Stupidness, puny donkeys and puny princesses make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Shrek! But puny Shrek family...puny family make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny family! Shrek is hate! Shrek is death! Groooarrrrr!!!!
- Puny Superman. Puny Superman beats Hulk!? Puny Superman makes Hulk pissed off! Puny Superman try to screw up Hulk's powers every ten seconds! Hulk SMASH puny Superman for defending and beating Hulk's friends! Stupid puny Superman! Graaaaarr!
- Puny Wario. Puny Wario fat greedy short man! Puny Wario steal Hulk's dollar! Puny Wario make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Wario!
- Puny Sonic. Puny Sonic blue spiky hedgehog! Puny Sonic faster than Hulk, but Hulk Strongest there is! Puny Sonic also get into puny Brawl! No one call Hulk to ask if Hulk want to be in puny Brawl! Puny Sonic make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Sonic!
- Puny Pikachu. Hulk's favorite Pokeymans are Tyranitar and Shiny Machamp because they are big and green and strong like Hulk (but not as much as Hulk)! But whenever Hulk hear anything about Pokeymans, it always about puny annoying yellow mouse Pikachu and not big strong green Tyranitar and Machamp! Aaaarrrrghrooorrarrrr! Hulk SMASH puny Pikachu! And Pikachu talk by saying its name over and over again which make Hulk even angrier! Hulk SMASH puny Pikachu even more!
- Angry Video Game Nerd puny impersonators. Puny Angry Video Game Nerd impersonators make Hulk angry! Hulk like not-puny Angry Video Game Nerd's pissed off videos on punniest, shittiest games! Puny AVGN impersonators try to rant over punniest, shittest games ever! Hulk HATE Puny AVGN impersonators! Hulk SMASH puny Angry Video Game Nerd impersonators! Then Hulk SMASH puny Irategamer many times!
- Puny Hulk Hogan. Puny Hulk Hogan wrestler, puny Hulk Hogan have same name like Hulk! Puny Hulk Hogan make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Hulk Hogan for copyright infringement!
- Puny Terminator. Puny Terminator metal robot! Puny Terminator want to terminate Hulk. Puny Terminator make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Terminator! Puny Terminator come back, make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Terminator. Puny Terminator come back again, make Hulk angry! Etc. Hulk get bored from smashing puny Terminator and go play puny hockey.
- Puny Kool-Aid Man. Puny Kool-Aid Man giant pitcher! Puny Kool-Aid Man crash into puny wall of Hulk's puny house! Puny Kool-Aid Man make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Kool-Aid Man!
- Puny Peter Griffin. Puny Peter Griffin not-funny rip-off of Homer Simpson! Hulk like Homer Simpson. Puny Peter Griffin not even funny. Hulk HATE puny Peter Griffin! Puny Peter Griffin make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny fat Peter Griffin!
- Hulk's puny mom. Hulk's puny mom scold Hulk for messing Hulk's room. Hulk's puny mom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Hulk's puny mom! Then Hulk's puny dad come home, SMASH Hulk for smashing Hulk's puny dad's puny wife! Now Hulk grounded!
- Puny Viacom. Puny Viacom claim Hulk's original video, Hulk work very hard on video. Puny Viacom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Viacom!
- Puny hammer god. Puny hammer god Thor big puny man with big puny hammer. Puny Thor say Hulk savage behemoth. Hulk not understand what puny Thor say, puny Thor make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Thor! Learn to talk good like Hulk talk, puny blonde man!
- Puny Pizza Man. Hulk hungry. Hulk order puny pizza. Puny Pizza man late! Not put puny anchovies on Hulk's puny pizza?! Puny Pizza Man make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Pizza Man! Then eat free yet puny pizza. No leave tip either.
- Puny Tourney Tard. Puny Tourney Tard play with Hulk on puny Super Smash Bros. Brawl, but puny Tourney Tard force Hulk only play with no puny items, puny Fox only, puny final destination. Hulk want to use Bowser, Bowser big and strong like Hulk, (but still not strong as Hulk. Bowser still puny turtle dragon thing.) but puny Toruney Tard tell Hulk Bowser puny bottom tier character. Playing specific rule set only make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Tourney Tard! Puny Tiers are for puny queers! Hulk SMASH puny Tourney Tard! Then hit puny Tourney Tard with puny Wiimote. Than Hulk strangle puny Tard with puny numchuck wire. Then hulk hit puny Tard with puny Gamecube controller.
- Puny Rick Astley. Puny Rick rickroller! Hulk want to watch porn on puny computer! Then Puny Rick play trick on Hulk: Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you down. Never gonna run around and desert you. Never gonna make you cry. Never gonna say goodbye. Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you. Hulk RickRoll'D! Hulk's not so puny ears can't take it anymore! Puny Rick Astley and puny RickRoll make Hulk Angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Rick Astely! SMASH puny RickRoll! And SMASH puny computer! Then Hulk's puny mom come. Now Hulk grounded again!
- Puny Chuck Norris. Hulk SMASH puny Chuck Norris because Hulk can! Puny Chuck Norris overrated pussy!
- Puny Eddie Van Hellen. Hulk take puny, whiny bitch's puny guitar and SMASH puny Eddie's puny head in with puny guitar! Play puny guitar now, washed-up puny rocker!
- Puny Ann Coulter. Hulk think puny Ann Coulter skanky. Hulk SMASH puny skank.
- Puny Harry Hill. Hulk never invited to Puny Harry Hills Puny orginised fights, Hulk SMASH puny Harry Hill.
- Mr. T. Mr. T Hulk's friend, but Mr.T throw puny snicker bars at Hulk and shout get some puny nuts! affend Hulk! Hulk SMASH Mr. T! Then Mr. T THROW Hulk helluva far! Mr. T helluva tough!
- Puny Hannah Montana. Puny Hannah Montana singer, puny Hannah Montana sing terrible! Make children suffer! Puny singing make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Hannah Montana. Wait, puny Hannah Montana's puny blonde wig fall, puny Hannah Montana actually puny Miley Cyrus! False identities make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Miley Cyrus!
- Puny Capcom. Hulk play puny Marvel vs. Puny Capcom 2 on puny Dreamcast, Hulk check puny tier list. Hulk only mid tier? Hulk should be Hulk tier! Hulk can SMASH every puny character in puny game! Tier lists make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Capcom! Hulk then play not puny Mega Man! Puny Capcom cancelled Mega Man Universe so Hulk no long make custom stage for Mega Man shoot puny robots! Puny Capcom also cancelled Mega Man Legends 3 for 3DS!!! GRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!! HULK SMASH PUNY CAPCOM!!!
- Puny Santa Claus. Puny Santa Claus big red man, Hulk wait for puny Santa whole year. Puny Santa come to Hulk's house, but give Hulk puny huge lump of coal! Say Hulk naughty because Hulk SMASH puny people! Puny Santa make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Santa! Then SMASH puny Santa's puny sled and puny reindeers.
- Puny Lucy Van Pelt. Puny Lucy little girl, puny lucy always take away puny football from puny Charlie Brown before puny Charlie kick puny football, make puny Charlie cry. puny Lucy make Hulk angry! But Hulk can't SMASH puny Lucy! Puny Lucy child, Hulk never hurt children. Hulk have idea, Hulk give puny transfusion of Hulk blood to puny Charlie, make puny Charlie not-so-puny Charlie Hulk. Not-so-puny Charlie Hulk SMASH puny Lucy for years of humiliation!
- Puny King of puny Atlantis. Puny King of puny Atlantis throw big puny party! But not invite Hulk! puny King of puny Atlantis make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Atlantis! Make puny Atlantis sink to bottom of puny ocean!
- Puny Thing. Puny Thing Hulk's rival. Puny Thing look like orange rip-off of Hulk! Puny Thing look strong, but Hulk strongest there is! Puny Thing make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Thing!
- Puny Disney. Hulk like puny Disney, puny Disney make funny characters like puny Mickey Mouse and Hulk's favorite, puny Donald Duck. Puny Donald Duck not wear pants, make Hulk laugh! But Hulk not like puny Disney anymore! Puny Disney only make puny shows like Puny Hannah Montana and puny Johnas Brothers! Puny Disney even buy puny Marvel, where Hulk was born! Puny Disney own Hulk! Evil co-operations and owning Hulk make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Disney! Then free puny Marvel from puny Disney! Now Hulk free!
- Puny Howard Stern. Puny Howard Stern work in puny radio. Puny Howard interview Hulk. Puny Howard swear Hulk! Say mean things about Hulk's Puny Mom! Insult Hulk! Foul language make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Howard Stern! But now puny radio needs new show. Give Hulk show. Hulk call show Hulk SMASH Time! In show Hulk get requests to SMASH puny people from puny listeners.
- Puny Morphing Power Rangers. Hulk SMASH puny punk for pushing Hulk! Puny Power Rangers see Hulk and say Hulk monster. Hurt Hulk's feelings. Puny Rangers make Hulk angry, Hulk SMASH puny Rangers! Then puny Rangers combine puny weapons, shoot puny laser, hit Hulk. Hulk not hurt, SMASH puny Rangers again! Then puny Rangers call puny robots, then Hulk wait for one hour for robots to combine to puny Megazord. Puny Megazord bigger than Hulk, but Hulk strongest there is! Puny Megazord hit Hulk with puny Sword. Hulk not hurt, SMASH puny Megazord! Then not-so-puny Green Ranger come, blow puny whistle. Then not-so-puny Dragonzord combine with puny Megazord to not-so-puny Mega Dragonzord, shoot puny energy ball at Hulk! Hulk not hurt, SMASH not-so-puny Mega Dragonzord! Then puny Titanus come, combine with not-so-puny Mega Dragonzord to puny Ultrazord, shoot puny missiles and puny lasers at Hulk! Hulk hurt! Now Hulk REALLY ANGRY! SMASH puny Ultrazord! SMASH puny Rangers! SMASH not-so-puny Green Ragner! SMASH puny Alpha! SMASH puny Zordon! SMASH puny Bulk and Puny Skull! SMASH puny Lord Zedd! SMASH Puny Rita! SMASH not-so-puny Goldar! SMASH every puny lackey! Now Hulk tired!
- Puny Media. Hulk save puny kitten from puny tree. But puny media show Hulk putting puny kitten on puny tree and then come to save puny kitten, puny media make Hulk look bad! Lying make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny media! but not SMASH not-so-puny Fox News. Not-so-puny Fox News always tell truth!
- Puny Mario. Hulk visit puny Mushroom Kingdom, but Puny Bowser capture puny Peach. Puny Mario and Luigi (Luigi not puny! Luigi wear green! Even jump higher than Hulk! Hulk like Luigi!) call Hulk to help. Hulk find only puny toads in 7 puny castles! But in final puny castle puny Bowser throw puny hammers at Hulk! Puny Bowser make Hulk and puny Mario and Luigi angry! Hulk and Luigi SMASH puny Bowser! But puny Peach kiss puny Mario! puny Mario claim all credit for smashing puny Bowser! Stealing Hulk's glory make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Mario! Then puny Peach kiss Hulk and Luigi!
- Puny knight. Puny knight come to Hulk's puny house, break stuff and mess furniture! Puny knight say puny knight need money for new puny sword. Puny knight break Betty's favorite vase! Puny knight make Hulk angry! Then puny background swirl and puny music play. Then puny screen show Hulk, puny knight, puny mage, puny ninja and puny priest. Hulk SMASH puny knight! Puny knight die! Then puny priest revive puny knight! No fair! Hulk angry! SMASH puny priest! Puny priest die! then puny mage throw puny fire at Hulk! Hulk SMASH puny mage! Puny mage die! Then puny knight hit Hulk with puny sword and puny ninja throw puny shuriken at Hulk! Hulk SMASH puny knight and puny ninja! Then game over show on puny screen. Then Hulk go buy new vase.
- Puny Justin Bieber. Puny Justin Bieber singer, sing terrible! Talk with terrible voice! Puny Justin make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Justin Bieber!
- Puny Simon Cowell. Hulk audition in puny American Idol, Hulk sing original song Betty write for Hulk. But puny Simon say Hulk sing terrible! Say even puny Simon's dead grandma can sing better than Hulk! Insult Hulk! Puny Simon make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Simon Cowell! Then pass auditions!
- Puny IRS. Hulk win new puny car in puny Wheel of Fortune! But Puny Internal Revenue Service say Hulk need to pay for new car! Puny IRS want too much money! Hulk work very hard to win. Greed make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny IRS! Then never pay taxes!
- Puny Abomination. Puny Abomination mutated by Gamma Rays, strong and green like Hulk! Puny Abomination want to kill Hulk! Puny Abomination make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Abomination!
- Puny Infraggable Krunk. Puny Krunk purple rip-off of Hulk! Make Hulk look bad! Puny Krunk make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Krunk!
- Puny Chris Redfield. Puny Chris Redfield fight Hulk on puny rooftop! Puny Chris Try to shoot Hulk's not so puny head with puny pistol! Hulk not hurt! Puny Chris Redfield make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Chris Redfield! But puny Chris dodge Hulk's not so puny punch! Hulk find out puny Chris on puny steroids! No Fair! Puny Chris on puny steriods like Hulk! Puny Chris slice Hulk with puny knife! But puny knife bend and Hulk not hurt! Puny Chris Redfield make hulk really angry! Hulk SMASH puny Chris Redfield! But Puny Chris dodge Hulk's not so puny punch again! But SMASH puny billboard instead! Puny Chris Shoot Hulk with puny rocket launcher! Hulk Hurt! Puny Chris Redfield make Hulk really really angry! Hulk SMASH puny Chris Redfield! Puny Chris dead?
- Puny Galactus. Puny Galactus huge! Eat puny planets! Puny Galactus want to eat puny Earth! Hulk's puny planet! Puny Glactus bigger than Hulk, but Hulk strongest there is! Puny Galactus make Hulk angry! Hulk try to SMASH puny Galactus but puny Galactus say Hulk be new herald, help puny Galactus eat puny planets! Hulk not help puny Galactus! Hulk climb puny Galactus, reach puny Galactus' puny lap and SMASH puny Galactus' puny balls! Then puny Galactus cry for mommy and run away!
- Bruce Lee. Bruce Lee very strong! Best martial artist in puny world! Bruce Lee challenge Hulk to fight! Hulk accept! Bruce Lee kick Hulk! Make Hulk angry! Hulk try to SMASH Bruce Lee but Bruce Lee block Hulk and punch Hulk's chest! Hulk try to SMASH Bruce Lee again but Bruce Lee dodge Hulk and then Hit Hulk's balls with puny Nunchuks! Make Hulk REALLY ANGRY! Hulk SMASH Bruce Lee! Hulk SMASH Bruce Lee too hard! Bruce Lee dead! Hulk bury Bruce Lee and then say puny cancer kill Bruce Lee.
- Puny Deadpool. Puny Deadpool talking man! Talk too much! Puny Deadpool say Hulk not real! Say Hulk drawn by puny humans! Puny Deadpool make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Deadpool! Then puny Deadpool cheat by healing! Not fair! Puny Deadpool have healing factor like Hulk! Then puny Deadpool shoot Hulk! Hurt Hulk! Hulk take puny deadpool's puny swords and cut puny Deadpool! Then kick puny Deadpool far! Eat Green! Puny talking man!
- Puny Juggernaut. Puny Juggernaut helmet man! Big and strong like Hulk! But puny Juggernaut bad! Attack puny humans! Hulk good! Puny Juggernaut make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Juggernaut! Puny Juggernaut say puny Juggernaut unstoppable! Make Hulk angrier! SMASH puny Juggernaut again! Puny Juggernaut stoppable!
- Puny Boba Fett. Puny Boba Fett bounty hunter! Fett try to assassinate hulk with puny sniper! Hulk not hurt! Puny bounty hunters make hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Boba fett!
- Puny Loki. Puny Loki Puny Thor's brother. Puny Loki and puny Enchantress try to control Hulk's mind to make Hulk SMASH puny Asgardians. No one control Hulk! Hulk SMASH puny Loki and puny Enchantress! Then puny Loki try to taunt Hulk but Hulk just smash him over and over and over! Puny god.
- Puny Grinch. Puny Grinch Puny Light Green man, Christmas thief! Puny Grinch not wear puny pants and Puny Grinch come down to hulks puny chimney to Hulks puny house! Puny Grinch steal Hulk's not so puny Christmas tree, Hulks and Betty's puny presents, Hulk's not so puny Green eggs and puny ham,And Hulk's Puny Christmas decorations! Puny Grinch put Puny Christmas tree but puny ornament fell out of puny tree! Hulk Wake up! Puny Grinch caught by Hulk! Puny Grinch lie to Hulk About fixing puny tree! Hulk work very hard on puny Christmas shopping,wraping puny presents,decorating puny house,and making not so puny green eggs and puny ham! Liers,Thiefs,Butt-naked people, and light green make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH Puny Grinch! SMASH puny dog! and SMASH Grinch's Ass! Now Hulk put Puny decorations back! Christmas saved!
edit Puny People Hulk Like
Hulk not battle some puny people, Hulk like some puny people, some puny people Hulk's puny friends. Some Puny People Hulk Like:
- Betty Ross. Betty. Hulk love Betty, Betty teach Hulk everything Hulk know. Hulk want to marry Betty.
- Rick Jones. Rick Hulk's friend. Rick reason Hulk born! Puny Banner save Rick from machine blow! No more puny Banner! Only Hulk!
- Puny Jennifer Walters. Puny Jennifer Hulk's cousin. Puny Doctor Doom kidnap puny Jennifer, hurt puny Jennifer. Puny Doctor Doom make Hulk angry! Hulk SMASH puny Doctor Doom. Puny Jennifer hurt, Hulk sad. Hulk give puny Jennifer puny transfusion of Hulk blood with Hulk healing factor, heal puny Jennifer! Now puny Jennifer not-so-puny She-Hulk, help Hulk, SMASH puny people with Hulk!
- Puny Homer Simpson. Hulk watch puny Simpsons with Betty, Hulk big fan. Puny Homer Simpson do stupid things, make Hulk laugh!
- Mr. T. Mr. T helluva tough. Tell Hulk drink milk and eat greens, make Hulk stronger. Mr. T loves puny children just like Hulk. Hulk PITY puny fool just like Mr.T!
- Puny Raymond. Everybody loves puny Raymond, Hulk too.
- Puny Gummibear. Puny Gummibar sing funny song Hulk like! Hulk is a gummy bear! Hulk is a gummy bear! Hulk is a happy, yummy, chummy, lucky gummy bear!
- Puny Morrigan. Hulk Like puny Morrigan. Puny Morrigan destroy puny Wolverine!! Hulk call Morrigan Hot girl! Hulk team up with Morrigan on Marvel vs. Capcom 3.
- Lou Ferrigno. Hulk like Lou for playing Hulk. Lou play Hulk three times, and do Hulk's voice in puny cartoons and puny movies. Hulk and Lou Ferrigno SMASH puny Kenneth Johnson for making Hulk puny on old Hulk show in 70's.
- Bruce Campbell. Hulk like Bruce Campbell movies like Evil Dead. Bruce strong and tough like Hulk. Bruce also funny and cool. Bruce have perfect chin. Hulk hope someday Hulk can touch it...
- TANK Hulk get on very well with the puny Tank from puny left 4 dead. Even rumours of gay relationship.
- Your puny Mom.
- BANE.... No, wait! Hulk don't like Bane. Hulk thinks Bane pump drug to make Bane stronger. HULK WILL SMASH BANE!!!!!!
- Your Puny Sister.
edit Hulk Spandex
Common note on Hulk is Hulk's amazing ability to instantly shed all other puny clothes other than pants. Undoubtedly hide truly scary part of Hulk. It was revealed recently that Hulk wear certain kind of spandex to allow for this. Allegedly came at advice of Hulk's puny lawyer, who wanted to avoid Indecent Exposure charges in puny court for Hulk's client. Hulk plan to market spandex to puny military, aware that they will use it against Hulk. Hulk don't care. HULK SMASH THEM ALL!!!
edit Pink Hulk
Bruce got pink one day he could only see pink kryptonite and voila the pink Hulk. How gay is that?
edit Death Of Hulk
Hulk was found dead in New York City on August 29, 2009. Because he died on the same day as several other Marvel Heroes were murdered by the Cult of Disney, he was killed by Robin 'The Fox' Hood who shot an arrow through his head while he was still Bruce Banner.
His funeral is planned to be a widely televised event. Surviving Heroes such as Hawkeye, The Falcon, squirrel girl, and the X-men plan to pay tribute, while other heroes like Batman, Superman, & the rest of the DC Universe will refrain from attending because all of them are glad to see that overgrown green shitbag finally gets his dirtnap for good.
|Superheroes and heroines||Captain Planet - The Amazing Fiber-Man - Spider-Woman - Mary Jane - The Incredible Hunk-Iron Man - The Scarlet Spider - Daredevil - Dr. Strange - The Punisher - Ghost Rider - Deadpool - Igloo - The other Captain Marvel - Stan Lee|
|Supervillains||Blackheart - Dr. Doom - Electro - Galactus - Green Goblin - Juggernaut - Mecha-Dracula - Rob Liefeld - Batroc - Kool-Aid Man - Loki - The Hobgoblin - Fred Phelps - Blackout the Vampire - Venom - Dr. Octopus - Spider-Man's Rogue's Gallery - The Creature|
|X-Men||Professor X - Apocyclopse - Gene Grey - Beast - Wolverine - Bishop - Cable the Larry Guy - Northstar|
|Salacious Six||Sr. Tentacles - The Wang - Sabertooth|
|Other teams||The Inhumans - The Revengers - The Fantastic Four|