How stupid are you?
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How often have you attend parties or dinners listening to beautiful and smart people having high level conversations you didn't get the first word? In this situation, you always wonder: "Boy am I that stupid or what?" Well, thanks to the test I offer you in this article, you won't have to wonder anywore. This is the opportunity of a life time: after answering the 16 items of that test, you will finally know for sure if you're just a bit slow, stupid or a total moron.
Of course, if you want the results to be accurate, you have to be honest and never cheat during the test. You can't ask your little sister, nor a monkey, nor an administrator for help and you are not allowed to look at the answers in the Uncyclopedia's articles. You also have to know that your time is limited. You only have 6 hours to answer the 16 questions and you cannot spend more than 30 seconds by question. Good luck.
edit 1 - Botany
Which item should not be on that list?
a) Sphagnopsida b) Lycopodiophyta c) Hepatophyta d) Anthocerotophyta e) Bryopsida
B of course. As everyone knows, lycopodiophyta is from the lycopods division and not from the bryophyte one. 2 easy points to encourage you for the beginning.
edit 2 – History
What was the exact day of Abraham Lincoln’s birth?
Tuesday. Add 3 points for the right answer.
edit 3 – Logic
Complete this sequence (be careful, to increase the difficulty, you cannot choose an item from a list):
Q – W – E – R – T - ? Or A – Z – E – R – T - ? (in case some of you have AZERTY keyboards)
You shouldn’t have answered this one. As no choice were given, there is no correct answer. Remove 3 points if you said “Y”, remove 5 points if you answered something else than “Y” and add 3 points if you haven’t answered anything.
edit 4 – Common knowledge
In case of a leap year, what is the shortest month?
a) February b) May c) August d) December
B. Even if it’s not a leap year, May is the shortest month as it’s formed with only 3 letters. 3 points for the right answer, 1 for each letter...
edit 5 – Mathematics
What should come after this sequence:
0 – 1 – 2 – 3 – 4 – 5 – 6 – 7 - ? a) 7 b) 8 c) 9 d) 10
D. You have an Internet access: you’are a geek. So this is a sequence in an octal base. Add 10 points. In binary of course so 2 points in real life.
edit 6 – Family riddle
“My Brother is the son of my grand-father, my sister is the aunt of my cousin and my uncle is the nephew of my mother. Who am I?”
A Cajun. 4 points for that tricky answer.
edit 7 – Mathematics
How can you solve this equation adding only one match?
edit 8 – Mythology
“I go on four legs in the morning, two legs at mid-day and three legs in the evening”, who am I?
The riddle the Sphinx asks Oedipus in Greek mythology. Let’s say 3 points for this one.
edit 9 – Leap year (again)
Anthony is 80 years old but he pretends he has just celebrated his 20th birthday. How is it possible?
Anthony suffers from Alzheimer’s disease. Damn I forgot how many points you get for this answer. Why not 4?
edit 10 - Precognition
What will be the year of the end of the world?
a) 2012 b) 2054 c) 2079 d) 2111
Frankly who cares? We won’t be there anyway. So I’m gonna give you 2 points but there’s not much you can do with that.
edit 11 – Who should not be in that list?
a) Socrates b) Kierkegaard c) Plato d) Pascal e) Justin Bieber
D. Pascal was a former participant of “Survivor” TV Show. Others are famous philosophers. +3 points for the ones who answered Pascal, -3 points for those who said Justin Bieber.
edit 12 – Logic
Complete this sequence: 官话 - 吳語 - 湘語 - 徽语 - 平话
Answer is 徽語. No need to explain of course. The correct answer add 100 points to your total.
edit 13 – Perception
Which of this circles is the most black?
C. 3 points for the correct answer.
edit 14 – Vision
Click in the box below and look at the image appearing for 30 seconds. Then click the other box below and answer the question.
How many planes were there in the sky in the picture?
If you watched at the sky, you’re really really stupid and you score the maximum, 5 points. Beside that, there was no sky on the picture.
edit 15 - Mathematics
What is the result of the operation 0/0?
141. You can easily check : . 4 points for you.
edit 16 – Intuition
What will be your score at this test?
Calculate your score. If you’re right, add 5 points. But now you’re 5 points wrong then remove 8 points. But maybe now you’re right again so forget about it and let’s check the results.
edit You have more than 100 points
Not only are you stupid but you're also trying to make me believe you speak Chinese? So you are both stupid AND suffering from mythomania. Scary.
edit You have between 60 and 99 points
I'm not sure that you are stupid but I can tell you suck at math. It's totally impossible to get that kind of score unless you speak Chinese and it's not allowed. Try again.
edit You have between 30 and 59 points
Congratulations: you are stupid AND psychopath. So you are for sure the most dangerous breed for humanity. Have you ever considered suicide?
edit You have between 10 and 29 points
This is excellent! You can keep on living like a complete stupid human specimen and not being aware of it. Anyway what's the point of this explanation? You don’t even get a single word of it.
edit You have less than 10 points
Well, I guess you are ready to write some very good articles for Uncyclopedia. Congratulations.