How I Met Your Mother
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“Whenever I feel sad, I just stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story!”
How I Met Your Mother is a TV show on the ever popular CBS network. A similar and very popular 'rival show', Friends, was created in the mid-nineties by a host of TV writers who were sick of having to come up with premises for shows and just threw a group of overly sexy people into a New York apartment. In 2005, those same writers, having just finished spending the profit from Friends, became sick of having to be original and stole Friends's concept, and the result has been showing on FX ever since.
How I Met Your Mother is set in the year 2030. It features the main caracter, Ted Mosby telling his kids about how he met his wife in the 2010 era. This naturally leads to a series of humorous flashbacks that take up 95% of each episode. That 95% features seven characters listed below. They constantly fall in love with each other, have sex, hang out in a dilapitated bar and get into many odd situations. There is even a wedding/divorce from time to time, although not as often as the show's predecessor, Friends.
Oh yeah, and Bob Saget plays future Ted.
edit Ted MosbyTed "Why in the hell is my middle name Evelyn" Mosby, portrayed by Josh Radnor, claims to be an architect, but he never works, constantly deletes the browsing history on his computer (for reasons best not disclosed) and has Carpal Tunnel syndrome. Ted is obsessed with finding the future mother of his children and sometimes has weird flash forwards in which he tells his children (who are actually figments of his imagination, even though they won't turn out to be, because they did that in the episode with Robin's future children with Barney, and they wouldn't do the same thing twice, so that was their way of telling us that won't happen) about his life back in the late 2000s and early 2010s. In the show's early stages, the fans speculated the Ted was gay or at least bisexual. The writers picked up this idea up soon after, and made Ted hire a male prostitute who turned out to be his father to out him as hilariously and incestly as possible. Ted is the comic relief of the series, most likely due to being a loser.
edit Marshall Ericson
Marshall "I'm fat" Eriksen, portrayed by Jason Seagal (who was on CSI a few times) is Ted's roommate. Marshall is a pathetic drunk and poses as a Lawyer. Marshall went to college with Ted and Lily (whom he almost married in season 2). He defends Barney in court whenever Barney is charged with rape. In season 3, Ted finds Marshall's files and tries to blackmail him, but Marshall threatens to tell everyone Ted is Gay - a secret only Marshall knows. In season 1, Marshall kills Ted's wife Stella after she finds out that he is a drunk (thus unravelling his years of lying), and fakes her suicide.
edit Barney "Let's do it in Central Park" Stinson
Barney Stinson, played by Neil Patrick Harris, is
legend...wait for it...dary a serial rapist and womanizer. All of Barney's plotlines are elaborate ploys which result in him having crazy monkey sex with women. In The Porcupine Rape Episode, Barney has sex with a pre-op trans-sexual and tries to kill himself. During Season 2, Barney was charged with twenty two counts of rape and two counts of attempted murder, and was finally going to be sent to prison. Marshal became his lawyer and managed to get Barney a light two year sentence. Barney didn't appear again until Season 5 in which he was put on the sex offenders list and was out on probation. Barney returned in Season 6, much to the fans' delight. And he is the man. In real life, god realized that Neil Patrick Harris is too awesome a man, and God made him a gay. Neil Patrick Harris is the complete opposite of Barney Stinson.
edit Lily Aldrin
Lily Aldrin, aka Alyson Hannigan, is Marshal's girlfriend and Snake Boy's later wife. The writers originaly wanted Lily to be a blond stereotype. They soon dropped the idea when they realised that Alyson Hannigan has red hair. Lily knows Ted and Marshal from their college days and regularly has 3-ways with them. Lily's most notable storyline was being accussed of beating the children in her kindergarden class in the special hour long season 4 finale Little Kid Pasta but she was aquitted of all charges and went back to teaching. In Lily Buys Car Keys, it is revealed that Lily is Buzz Aldrin's brother.
edit Robin Sherbert-OtskyRobin Sherbert-Otsky was originally played by Robin Williams but he quit in the later stages of early development, so they hired Cobie Smulders and changed Robin from a transexual to a drag queen. She is a porn star and regularly shoots pornos in Ted's apartment, such as Let's All Go To The Mall. Her stage name is Robin Sparkles. She is from Brazil and is fluent in 3 languages: English, sarcasm and profanity. In Season 3 Robin leaves the porn industry and has sex with Barney so he will get her a job in TV. She gets recruited by the news station
edit Joey Fuckwitt and Snake Boy
See also: Friends
Joey Fuckwitt is played by Matt LeBlanc. Snake Boy is played by Cuba Gooding Jr. After Friends, the TV show that created them, ended in 2004, Joey and Snake Boy, two of the most loved characters, looked around for a new TV show. They thought of joining Family Guy or Simpsons but picked How I Met Your Mother instead, and joined on after the Disney lawsuit had subsided. Many people considered them and Bob Saget the 'saviours of the show'.
Warning: Plot spoiler or ending details follow... luckily, no one gives any shit
edit Season 1In the first Season of 'How I met Your Mother', Ted begins telling his two children (named Jules and Verne) about how he made the first yo mamma joke EVER. The story takes place in New York City where Ted has many so-called 'friends' including Marshal, Robin, Lily, Barney, Joey and Snakeboy, and a love interest of Ted's, named Stella.
Ted frequently tries to get his architect career of the ground. This usually results in
nice, good old fashioned horrible, yet strangely funny situations, such as decapitation of limbs and injury of public figures that no one likes such as clowns and construction workers. Ted also proposes to his long term girlfriend Stella Zinman (Kaley Cuco), but the happiness soon ends when Stella "kills herself" (see Marshall)
Barney stalks a waitress at the bar the gang often turn up in. He eventually rapes her and brutally murders her when she refuses to sign a contract stating that she wasn't raped. Joey finds the flaming, mutilated carcass, but instead of reporting it to the police, he eats it, since he has been deprived of the Satanic Rituals and demonic behavior he was so used to on Friends.
Lily and Robin make sweet, Lesbian love for all to see while drunk, and Marshal falls in love with Lily. The next day, Robin wins a $500,000 cash prize since someone makes a sex tape of her and Lily's love-making and it won a 'Sexiest Video' competition.
At the end of the season, Marshal is kicked out of the apartment which he, Ted and Lily live in because he talks to much (debatable, some suggest it could be because he smells bad). The final scene of the season shows Marshal eating a green walnut... will he survive?
edit Season 2
Ted is forced to design a building that looks like a... *ahem* Penis ...by his cruel, sexually aroused boss who is using the architecture firm as a front to cook meth.
Robin quits the porn industry because some guy throws a bomb at her. She finds a job in the news industry, but doubts she will get the job. Barney tells Robin he can get her the job if they have sex. Robin accepts the deal and soon gets the job. Then she finds out that she would have gotten the job anyway. She attempts to hang herself but Ted saves her and they fall in love.
Marshal proposes to Lily. At the wedding, however, Lily runs off with Snake Boy. Marshal and Joey, both devastated, repeatedly get wasted for a month until Lily and Snake Boy return. During their absence, they destroyed a large portion of Texas and killed eight cops. Marshal breaks Lily's leg with a baseball bat but is still OK with them getting married. A problem arises when Ted and Marshal get angry at Snakeboy because he chooses a Hobo to be his best man.
In The Porcupine Rape, the last episode of the season, Barney is dared by the gang to rape numerous sluts. He is soon jailed for rape. Marshal poses as Barney's lawyer and manages to get Barney a two year sentence. Barney does not return until Season 5.
edit Season 3
Due to a tax miscalculation, a 3rd Season was never filmed.
edit Season 4
Uhhh... Ted was a werewolf
edit Season 5
Ted's company gets hired to build a big building in New York, but he gets fired because he jizzes all over his boss. Barney is put on the sex offenders list and greets the group before being sent to Azkabam. Lily gets onto Ted's laptop when he's on the toilet and finds a lot of disgusting crap on it.
edit Season 6
Barney escapes from prison and shoots Snake Boy. A horrified Lily tries to bring Snake Boy back to life but he dies. Lily swears revenge against Barney.
Ted declares his love for Robin. They get married but at the wedding, Joey kills almost everyone except Robin, who is left wounded à la Kill Bill. Robin swears revenge against Joey.
Joey and Barney team together, become fugitives, and drive the roads of America in a purple truck. Robin and Lily hunt them down and just as they're about to kill them, Marshal and the hobo appear (you forgot about them, didn't you) with a video camera, thinking the fight is a blood orgy. Joey and Snake Boy use their unholy powers to transport everyone to Hell, where they are left as a Sacrifice for the Devil. Just as the Devil is about to eat Marshal, Lily, Robin and the hobo, Future Ted goes to take a crap and a cuppa, since he has been tellling the same goddamn story for five years, and his kids are now skeletons.
edit Theme Song
The theme tune to How I met your Mother is "Paradise City" sung by Guns N' Roses, and it goes Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Bah Baaah.
Here are some of the most common criticisms that 'How I Met Your Mother' received.
- Why the hell did you not just make this a miniseries?
- What is the joke?
- You seem to be making this up as you go along... ?
- What connections do you have with Satan?
But perhaps the best criticism came from former Vice President Dick Cheney:
“I've seen the Barnacle in real life, and he's not all smouldering.”
edit Fan Base
How I Met Your Mother is usually watched by lonely men who watch the show online and pause every time Robin bends over. This condition, known either as "Robinphilia" or "Being a Sick Fuck", is a condition that could start an unhealthy obsession with Colbie Smulders, Canadians, not having boobs, and the Vancouver Canucks. Another chunk of HIMYM's fans are 13 year olds boys who often repeat Barney Stinson's catchphrases, thinking it will either: get them laid, make them popular, or make them sound cool. The next chunk is grandmothers who mistake the show for some cheesy soap opera. The final chunk is David Burtka, who watches the show online and pauses every time Barney bends over.
edit Notable Episodes
- The episode Joey Gets Laid was praised for its stunning visuals and great fake orgasms from Robin.
- The 3 part storyline The Wedding won two awards: an Emmy for its plot and an Oscar for special effects.
edit Cast awards
- Matt Le Blance won Worst actor in a comedy series for his work in seasons 2-5. This is the second time he has won the award.
- Neil Patrick Harris was loved by all when the series ended.